Food— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and avoid filler words (uh). Start with a clear topic sentence, then give two specific supporting points with linking words. Mention one or two concrete examples (e.g., ingredients) and finish with a brief comparison or reason.

예시: My favourite food is hot pot, especially when I want something spicy and sociable. For example, I enjoy adding thinly sliced beef and leafy vegetables to the bubbling broth, which makes each bite flavorful. On other days I prefer desi dishes like biryani because they are rich and comforting.

제안: Give one clear topic sentence and then two linked supporting details with specific examples and a concise memory. Avoid short fragmented sentences and repeated phrases.

예시: I liked Chinese food when I was young, especially my mother’s noodles. For instance, she used to make stir-fried noodles with eggs and vegetables, and I still remember how excited I felt when she cooked them for my birthday.

제안: Answer the question directly, then contrast seasonality with mood using linking words. Use accurate food terms (e.g., rotis instead of tortillas) and give one seasonal example if possible.

예시: Not usually — my choices depend more on my mood than the season. However, we also follow Pakistani seasonal habits; for example, in summer we often eat cooling dishes like yogurt-based raita, while in winter we prefer hearty biryani or lentil stews.

제안: Give a concise direct answer, then explain the change with a clear reason and one supporting example. Avoid repetition and filler words.

예시: Not really — I still enjoy Chinese food, but my preference has shifted from chow mein to hot pot because I can now handle spicier flavours. For example, I used to prefer mild stir-fried noodles, whereas now I enjoy the spicy broth and variety of ingredients in hot pot.

× I really like to eat Chinese, specifically hot pot because of the spicy broth.

✓ I really like eating Chinese food, specifically hot pot because of the spicy broth.

Use of 'like to eat' is not incorrect but 'like eating' is more natural when describing general preferences; also add 'food' after 'Chinese' for clarity. Suggestion: use gerund for habitual preferences: 'like eating'.

× And uh, you can have multiple ingredients of your choice if you're in a bad mood.

✓ And, you can have multiple ingredients of your choice if you're in a bad mood.

Original sentence uses 'you' which is acceptable in conversational style but here the speaker should refer to themselves with 'I' when describing personal preference. Revised: 'I can have multiple ingredients of my choice if I'm in a bad mood.' Use consistent personal pronoun to match speaker perspective.

× I really uh think I would prefer something desi of my.

✓ I think I would prefer something desi.

The original sentence has extra words 'of my' which are ungrammatical. Remove redundant fragment and filler 'uh'. Keep simple structure: subject + verb + complement. 'Desi' can stand alone as an adjective describing food.

× Since childhood.

✓ Since childhood, I have been fond of Chinese food.

'Since childhood' is a sentence fragment lacking a verb. Convert to full sentence by adding subject and verb and linking it to previous idea: 'I have been fond of Chinese food since childhood.' This uses present perfect to indicate a state from past to present.

× My mom made so good noodles when I came home and I remembered I had birthday and she made it for me and I loved it.

✓ My mom used to make really good noodles when I came home. I remember one birthday when she made them for me and I loved them.

Original mixes tenses and uses awkward phrasing. Use 'used to make' or simple past consistently for habitual past actions. 'Remember' present tense fits recalling, so 'I remember one birthday when she made them' is clearer. Also match plural 'noodles' with plural pronoun 'them'.

× I wouldn't say it depends on the time of the year which food I like, but it's basically on my mood.

✓ I wouldn't say my food choices depend on the time of year; they basically depend on my mood.

Original word order and pronoun reference are awkward. Clarify subject 'my food choices' and use consistent plural 'they' to refer back. Also use 'depend on' + noun phrase 'the time of year' without 'which'.

× But most importantly, we usually eat agricultural food that is Pakistani cuisine.

✓ But most importantly, we usually eat traditional Pakistani food.

'Agricultural food that is Pakistani cuisine' is awkward and ungrammatical. Use 'traditional Pakistani food' or 'Pakistani cuisine' to convey meaning concisely.

× Uh, it has biryani, Curry, rice and with tortillas and pulses.

✓ It includes biryani, curry, rice, tortillas and pulses.

Capitalize only when needed; 'Curry' should be lowercase. Remove unnecessary 'with' and keep parallel list structure. Use 'includes' instead of 'has' for listing items.

× I wouldn't say so because I as I mentioned I loved Chinese and I still do.

✓ I wouldn't say so because, as I mentioned, I loved Chinese food and I still do.

Add commas for clarity and include 'food' after 'Chinese' for natural phrasing. Maintain consistent tense and add punctuation.

× I previously I ate chow Mein but now since I can eat a spicy food I now enjoy hot pot as well.

✓ Previously I ate chow mein, but now that I can eat spicy food, I enjoy hot pot as well.

Remove repeated 'I' and extra 'now'. Use 'previously' or 'used to' for past habit. 'Chow mein' is not capitalized; remove article 'a' before 'spicy food'. Use 'now that' to indicate change in ability leading to current preference.