Walking— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Clarify and correct grammar, give a direct topic sentence, and add one or two specific details. Use linking words if expanding. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases like "water lock."

예시: Yes, I walk quite a lot. My job requires me to be on my feet for most of the day, so I usually take short walks during breaks to rest and stretch.

제안: Begin with a clear topic sentence answering the question, correct tense and article usage, and give a specific reason and one example. Use a linking word to connect ideas.

예시: No, I didn't often go for walks as a child because I preferred playing computer games and watching TV. For example, I spent most afternoons at home playing games rather than going to the park.

제안: Start with a clear topic sentence explaining the main reason, correct reflexive pronouns and awkward phrases, and provide specific supporting details with linking words (for example, because, such as).

예시: People like walking in parks because it helps them relax. For example, they enjoy fresh air, gentle wind and sunshine, and the peaceful atmosphere makes it easy to unwind.

제안: Directly answer the hypothetical question with a location and reason. Use correct conditional structure and concise supporting details. Avoid mentioning unrelated work details and clarify activities you'd do during the walk.

예시: If I had the chance, I would take a long walk in a seaside town because I enjoy the sea views and calm atmosphere. I would stroll along the beach, take photos and stop at a café to relax.

제안: Answer the past question clearly with a specific place and correct vocabulary (workplace). Give one or two concise reasons or activities for the walk and use past tense correctly. Avoid hesitation and incomplete sentences.

예시: Lately I went for a short walk around my workplace. After several meetings with customers, I walked outside to clear my mind and get some fresh air.

× Yeah, because my my work have to stand out and every day to work so I water lock.

✓ Yeah, because my work requires me to stand for long periods every day, so I walk a lot.

Original sentence has subject-verb agreement errors ('my work have' should be 'my work requires') and unclear vocabulary ('water lock'). Also sentence structure issues and awkward infinitive uses. Corrected to use proper verb agreement and clear meaning: 'my work requires me to stand for long periods' and 'I walk a lot'. Suggestion: identify the true subject and choose the correct verb form, and use clear verbs for actions (stand, walk).

× No, when I was a child I didn't want to go outside because I liked the computer games and like to watch the TV.

✓ No, when I was a child I didn't want to go outside because I liked computer games and liked to watch TV.

Mixing past tense and present tense verbs ('didn't want' with 'like to watch') causes tense inconsistency. Change all verbs describing past habits to past tense ('liked'). Also drop unnecessary articles before uncountable nouns ('watch TV' not 'watch the TV'). Suggestion: keep the same tense when describing past experiences and use standard collocations ('play computer games', 'watch TV').

× So in my childhood I have a lot of time in home.

✓ So in my childhood I had a lot of time at home.

Incorrect use of preposition and tense: 'in home' should be 'at home' and 'have' should be past 'had' to match 'in my childhood'. Use 'at' for being at a place (home) and past tense for past periods. Suggestion: pair appropriate prepositions with places and maintain consistent tense for time expressions.

× Because it can relax themselves in the parks, we can do a lot of sense and we will feel the gentle wind and the sunshine, so a lot of people just walk a lot speed in the park.

✓ Because walking in parks can help people relax; we can enjoy the sights and feel the gentle wind and sunshine, so many people just walk quickly in the park.

Pronoun error ('it can relax themselves')—'it' and 'themselves' mismatch. Also awkward phrases ('do a lot of sense', 'walk a lot speed'). Correction uses appropriate subject 'walking' and plural 'people' with consistent verbs. Use 'enjoy the sights' for sensory experiences and 'walk quickly' for adverb placement. Suggestion: ensure pronouns agree with their referents and choose natural collocations for activities and sensations.

× No, because I had already in work all day in Microsoft. When I go outside, maybe I just want to relax myself to play some games or enjoy some experience moments or sense just to travel.

✓ No, because I already work all day at Microsoft. When I go outside, I just want to relax, play some games, enjoy new experiences, or do some sightseeing.

Multiple sentence structure problems: tense mismatch ('had already in work all day') and unnatural phrasing ('relax myself to play some games', 'experience moments or sense'). Correction uses correct present tense for habitual work, proper preposition 'at Microsoft', and natural verbs/phrases for leisure activities. Suggestion: use simple verbs ('relax', 'play', 'enjoy') and common collocations like 'enjoy experiences' or 'go sightseeing'.

× In the, in the warplace, uh, because every day I must say that to, uh, talk with customer and to introduce the plan and to decent customers requires so, umm, recently I.

✓ At my workplace, because every day I have to talk with customers, introduce plans, and meet customer requirements, recently I...

Preposition and article misuse ('in the warplace' should be 'at my workplace') and verb forms ('must say that to' unclear) and pluralization ('customer' should be 'customers'). Correction uses 'have to' for obligation and plural nouns. Suggestion: use 'at' for workplace location, pluralize countable nouns when needed, and use simple verbs for duties ('talk', 'introduce', 'meet requirements').