Walking— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct grammar (e.g. “walking is” not “this is”) and use appropriate vocabulary like “pedestrian paths” or “sidewalks.” Keep it under five sentences.

예시: Yes, I walk a lot. I find walking an eco-friendly and healthy way to travel, especially for short trips around my neighborhood. However, safe pedestrian paths and sidewalks are important so we can avoid busy roads and traffic.

제안: Answer the past question clearly: use past tense and give a concise explanation with relevant detail. Avoid contradictions (you said ‘especially for long’ then ‘not for short’). Use linking words like ‘because’ and accurate phrases like ‘pedestrian crossings.’

예시: Yes, I walked outside often when I was a child because my family liked going to the local park. We used to stroll for 30–40 minutes after school, which was fun and kept me active.

제안: Give a direct topic sentence and then specific reasons with linking words. Reduce hesitations and repetition; use vocabulary like “greenery,” “peaceful atmosphere,” and “fresh air.” Keep it coherent and under five sentences.

예시: People like walking in parks because they offer greenery and fresh air, which makes the atmosphere peaceful. In addition, parks provide space for families and children to play, and benches where people can relax and socialize.

제안: Use a clear conditional sentence (e.g. “If I had the chance, I would…”). Give one specific place and two concise reasons with linking words. Avoid filler words and fragmented endings.

예시: If I had the chance, I would take a long walk in a large botanical garden because the varied plant life and quiet paths are relaxing. Also, observing people exercising and doing yoga adds to the lively yet peaceful atmosphere.

제안: Answer in past tense for ‘did you go’ and be specific about time and place. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add one or two details using linking words. Reduce hesitations and avoid future tense when describing a past event.

예시: I went for a walk in the nearby park yesterday evening after dinner. I usually eat early and then spend about 30 minutes walking there, where many people gather to chat and exercise.

× Yes I walk a lot.

✓ Yes, I walk a lot.

Missing comma after introductory yes and capitalization/spacing; sentence verb tense is fine. Add comma for natural speech punctuation and clarity.

× I like this is very eco friendly mode.

✓ I like it because it is a very eco-friendly mode.

The original mixes clauses and omits the pronoun it. Use 'it' as the subject for 'is' and hyphenate 'eco-friendly'. Add 'because' to link preference and reason.

× To go from one place to another place needs Walker safe paths so that whenever there is a traffic on the road or it is a busy Rd. that time we can move to the.

✓ To go from one place to another we need safe walking paths so that when there is traffic or the road is busy, we can walk safely.

Run-on, wrong word order and incorrect nouns ('Walker', 'a traffic', 'Rd.'). Reorganize into clear subject-verb structure, use 'we need', 'walking paths', and correct articles and conjunctions.

× Yes, I walk a lot. I find walking an eco friendly and healthy way to travel, especially for long.

✓ Yes, I walked a lot. I found walking an eco-friendly and healthy way to travel, especially for long distances.

Question asked about childhood (past), so verbs should be past tense: 'walked' and 'found'. Also complete the phrase with 'long distances' and hyphenate 'eco-friendly'.

× Not for short distances, but it would be much better if cities provide safer payments and pedestrian crossings.

✓ Not for short distances, but it would be much better if cities provided safer pavements and pedestrian crossings.

Conditional with 'would be' requires past tense 'provided'. 'Payments' is incorrect; use 'pavements' for sidewalks.

× Why did, why do I like to work in parks?

✓ Why do I like to walk in parks?

Confused forms and wrong verb 'work' instead of 'walk'. Use present tense 'do I like' to answer general preference and correct verb.

× Because, uh, we can see lively environment, greenery, umm, sound of uh, children playing around us, uh, people walking and enjoying their fresh, uh, fresh.

✓ Because we can see a lively environment, greenery, and the sound of children playing around us; people are walking and enjoying the fresh air.

Missing articles ('a lively environment', 'the sound'), repeated word 'fresh' and lack of noun after 'fresh'. Also improve parallel structure and add 'air' after 'fresh'.

× I like walking in parks because of the pleasant green surrounding fresh air, children playing around, people chatting, ladies, uh, doing exercise, elderly people doing yoga, umm, performing uh, other activities.

✓ I like walking in parks because of the pleasant green surroundings, fresh air, children playing, people chatting, women exercising, and elderly people doing yoga or other activities.

Use plural 'surroundings', add commas, replace 'ladies' with 'women' and streamline list with parallel gerunds. 'Fresh air' needs placement after surroundings.

× So those makes you uh, fresh and lively.

✓ So those make you feel fresh and lively.

Subject 'those' is plural so verb should be 'make'. Add 'feel' to complete the idea and remove filler.

× Miss from a.

✓ (Remove fragment)

Fragment 'Miss from a.' is incomplete and unclear; remove or clarify intended meaning.

× Uh, actually I will go for a walk after the, after dinner.

✓ Actually, I usually go for a walk after dinner.

Speaker means habitual action, so use present simple 'usually go' rather than future 'will go'. Remove filler and commas.

× Uh, very, I usually take dinner early and then I will keep it, keep some time safe for walking.

✓ I usually have dinner early and then set aside some time for walking.

Use 'have dinner' not 'take dinner'; for routine use present simple 'set aside' rather than future 'will keep'. Remove repetition.

× I'll go to the nearby park.

✓ I go to the nearby park.

If describing a usual habit, use present simple 'I go'. If intending a specific future plan 'I'll go' is acceptable; context suggests habitual action so use present.

× It is very fresh.

✓ It is very pleasant and fresh.

Sentence is short and acceptable, but adding 'pleasant' clarifies meaning. 'Fresh' refers to air—could specify 'the air is very fresh' for clarity.

× Mostly people after lunch, after dinner, they come there and walk and chat with each other.

✓ Mostly, people come there after lunch and after dinner to walk and chat with each other.

Word order improved for clarity and present simple used for habitual action; remove redundant pronoun 'they'.