Walking— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and focus on a clear topic sentence. Reduce hesitations and correct word choice (e.g. use "walk" not "work"). Give one or two specific reasons with linking words (because, so, therefore). Aim for 2–3 well-formed sentences and avoid repetition.

예시: Yes, I walk quite often. After both lunch and dinner I usually take a short walk because it helps digestion and makes me feel more comfortable.

제안: Start with a clear past-tense topic sentence (I often went outside). Use correct verb forms and avoid trailing off. Provide a specific supporting detail (what you did) and one linking word (because/so). Keep to 2–3 sentences.

예시: Yes, I often went outside as a child. I usually walked and played with my friends because we liked running around in the park and it was a natural way for kids to have fun.

제안: Use correct subject-verb agreement and avoid repetition. Provide two clear reasons with linking words (for example, because, and). Be specific about benefits (e.g. improves cardiovascular health, reduces stress). Keep sentences clear and limited to 2–3 sentences.

예시: People like walking in parks because it is a simple form of exercise that improves fitness and cardiovascular health. For example, walking in green spaces also helps reduce stress and improve mood.

제안: This answer is fairly clear but reduce hesitations and correct minor phrasing ("I don't have to work all the same" is unclear). Use one strong topic sentence and one supporting sentence with specific details (sounds, scenery, activities).

예시: I would like to take a long walk alongside a river because the air is fresh and the scenery is peaceful. It would be relaxing to listen to the water and watch birds while I walk.

제안: Use correct past tense and give a clear topic sentence (I went to ... last week). Provide two specific details (features of the place and what you did) with linking words (for example, and, because). Avoid repetition and filler words.

예시: Last week I went for a walk in the lakeside garden, a large national park with two rivers. It is ideal for walking because there are many footpaths and open spaces where people can exercise and relax.

× Yes, I work a lot, Umm, every time I, uh, after, uh, after meal, uh, no matter lunch or uh, dinner, I prefer to, uh, walk for a while because that, that makes me comfortable.

✓ Yes, I walk a lot. Every time after a meal, whether lunch or dinner, I prefer to walk for a while because it makes me comfortable.

The student used 'work' instead of 'walk' (word choice) and inconsistent tense/structure. The corrected sentence uses present simple 'walk' to describe habitual action and fixes clause order: 'after a meal' and 'whether lunch or dinner'. Use 'it makes me comfortable' rather than 'that, that makes me comfortable' for clarity.

× Uh, if I, if I didn't work, I feel, uh, a food as those food are.

✓ If I don't walk, I feel as if the food is still in my stomach.

The student mixed tenses and verbs: used past tense 'didn't work' incorrectly and 'work' instead of 'walk'. For a general condition use present simple in the if-clause ('If I don't walk') and present result ('I feel'). 'Feel a food as those food are' is ungrammatical; changed to 'feel as if the food is still in my stomach' for clear meaning.

× As as these food that food are stuck in my stomach that makes me uncomfortable.

✓ These foods feel stuck in my stomach, which makes me uncomfortable.

Plural/subject agreement and sentence structure issues: 'food' should be plural 'foods' or better 'the food' and 'are stuck' needs a clear subject. Use a relative clause 'which makes me uncomfortable' to link the ideas. Use present simple to describe a habitual sensation.

× Yes, when I was a child, I really like go out, go outdoors and walk for a while because.

✓ Yes, when I was a child, I really liked going outdoors and walking for a while.

'When I was a child' sets a past-time frame, so verbs should be in past tense: 'liked' not 'like'. After verbs of liking for activities use gerunds: 'liked going' and 'walking'. Also remove the trailing 'because' or complete the clause.

× Because it is, it is natural for a, a, for a kid to play out the door or, or just go, just go walk with, uh, several, uh, playmates.

✓ It is natural for a child to play outside or just take a walk with several playmates.

Redundant fillers and disfluent repetition create structure problems. Use 'child' instead of informal 'kid' for neutral tone. 'Play out the door' is incorrect; use 'play outside'. 'Take a walk' is the correct collocation.

× They uh, we couldn't stay on the.

✓ We couldn't stay indoors all the time.

Fragment and unclear preposition: 'stay on the' is incomplete. Context implies inability to stay inside, so 'stay indoors all the time' completes the meaning and corrects sentence structure.

× People likes to, uh, work, people like to work in parks because, uh, this activity, this activity has many, umm, uh, has many benefits for their health, for their body and for their health.

✓ People like to walk in parks because this activity has many benefits for their bodies and their health.

Subject-verb agreement: plural subject 'People' takes 'like' not 'likes'. 'Work' is wrong word choice—should be 'walk'. Avoid repetition and use plural 'bodies' to match 'their'. Combine redundant phrases for clarity.

× Umm, umm, for example, working in, working in. Parks can is a type of, uh, exercise and can, uh, keep their fit, umm, then walking a park can release their stress and.

✓ For example, walking in parks is a form of exercise and can keep them fit. Walking in a park can also relieve stress.

Use gerund 'walking' correctly: 'walking in parks is a form of exercise'. Remove incorrect auxiliary 'can is'. Use 'keep them fit' not 'keep their fit'. 'Relieve stress' is the correct collocation, not 'release their stress'.

× I like to take a long walk, uh, alongside, uh, alongside a river, umm, because uh, usually, uh, walking by a river, a ha has fresh air and uh, it is cozy.

✓ I would like to take a long walk along a river because walking by a river usually has fresh air and is peaceful.

Question asked about hypothetical ('if you had the chance'), so use conditional/modal 'would like'. Remove redundant 'alongside'. 'A ha has' is garbled; use 'usually has fresh air' and 'is peaceful' or 'is cozy'—'peaceful' fits better.

× I don't have to, uh, work all the same.

✓ I don't have to work; things can feel different when I walk.

The original is unclear. If the intent is that walking relieves the need to work mentally, rephrase to clarify. 'Don't have to' is fine but needed a clear complement; provided a possible clear rewording to express relaxation effect.

× Last last week, I go for, I want for a walk in the lakeside garden.

✓ Last week, I went for a walk in the lakeside garden.

Time expression 'Last week' requires past tense 'went' not present 'go'. Remove repetition 'Last last week' and unnecessary 'I want for'.

× It is a, a national garden park and uh, within, uh, with, uh, with two rivers in it, uh, it's also a huge place.

✓ It is a national garden park with two rivers in it; it is also a very large place.

Remove disfluencies and redundant prepositions. Use 'with two rivers' rather than 'within with'. 'Huge place' is fine, 'very large place' is smoother.

× So it is uh, uh, ideal place. For walking, I like the footballs.

✓ So it is an ideal place for walking. I like the footpaths.

Article error: 'an ideal place' needed. Fragmentation corrected by joining sentence. 'I like the footballs' is incorrect; likely meant 'footpaths' or 'football fields'—context suggests 'footpaths' given walking; corrected accordingly.

× I there are many footpaths. There there are many, there are many, there are also many.

✓ There are many footpaths and many other facilities.

Remove repetition and fillers. Use one clear sentence: 'There are many footpaths and many other facilities.' This corrects structure and removes stuttering.