Walking— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and direct: begin with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Reduce repetition and correct grammar (use present simple: “I walk a lot,” not “I I walk”). Use linking words like “because” or “so” appropriately and avoid listing unrelated activities.

예시: Yes, I walk a lot. I usually walk between classes on campus because the campus is large, and I also walk for exercise several times a week at the university gym, which helps me stay fit.

제안: Start with a clear past-tense sentence and avoid confusion. Use one or two specific details (who, where, why). Keep sentences short and correct grammar (past simple: “I often went”). Avoid unclear phrases and repetition.

예시: Yes, I often went for walks with my parents when I was a child. They liked to take us to a nearby park every weekend so we could play and enjoy the fresh air.

제안: Give a clear general reason followed by specific benefits. Use correct plural and articles (e.g., “parks have greenery” not “park has a great greenery”). Use linking words like “because,” “so,” or “for example” to structure the answer. Avoid filler sounds (uh).

예시: People like walking in parks because of the greenery and fresh air. For example, parks offer quiet paths and trees that help people relax and improve their mood, so many choose them for exercise or stress relief.

제안: Answer directly with a conditional sentence in correct form and give one specific reason. Avoid repeating the conditional clause. Mention the place clearly and a concise reason why you would choose it.

예시: If I had the chance, I would take a long walk around Bagh-e-Jinnah in Lahore because it has long, tree-lined paths of about eight kilometers and beautiful gardens that make walking pleasant.

제안: Use past simple tense (“I went”) and be specific about what you did. Say the distance clearly and avoid unclear terms like “R2 circles” or “four parameters.” Explain briefly why it was good for you using linking words like “because” or “so.”

예시: Yesterday I went for a walk around my hometown. The route was about two kilometers, and I walked two laps so I covered roughly four kilometers, which felt great because it improved my mood and helped my fitness.

× Well, yeah, I walk a lot because my routine, because I'm an active student also has an active fitness trainer.

✓ Well, yeah, I walk a lot because of my routine; I'm an active student and I also have an active fitness trainer.

The original sentence has sentence structure issues and missing connectors. 'because my routine, because I'm an active student also has an active fitness trainer' is ungrammatical. Use 'because of my routine' to show reason, separate clauses with a semicolon or conjunction, and correct 'has' to 'I have' to match the subject. Suggestion: combine related ideas clearly and ensure each clause has a subject and verb.

× So I I walk a lot in university to switching the departments and the classes there.

✓ So I walk a lot in university, switching between departments and classes there.

The phrase 'to switching' is incorrect; after a comma the present participle 'switching' is appropriate to indicate simultaneous action. Use 'between' with 'departments and classes'. Suggestion: use 'switching between' to show movement among items.

× I work a lot and in in the gym I used to train.

✓ I work a lot, and I used to train in the gym.

The sentence mixes present 'I work' with past 'used to train' without clear context. Move 'in the gym' after 'train' for natural word order and keep tense consistent for the intended meaning. If the speaker still trains, use 'I work out a lot and train in the gym.' Suggestion: decide present or past and keep tense consistent.

× Since I am I was a child yeah I often go for a walk with my parents my parents told me that you are you loved at certain product duties and you can you insist us that let's go let's the mother let's let's go outside for our walk so yeah from.

✓ Since I was a child, I often went for walks with my parents. My parents would tell me that we should go outside for a walk together.

Multiple errors: tense inconsistency ('Since I am I was a child'), incorrect verbs ('go' should be past 'went'), and many ungrammatical fragments. Use past tense 'was' and 'went' to describe childhood habits. The second sentence simplifies and corrects the intended meaning. Suggestion: break into short sentences, use past tense for childhood routines, and avoid unnecessary words.

× People has their own expectation, but I observe that people often, uh, go for a walk, uh, work in the park because park has a great, uh, greenery over there.

✓ People have their own expectations, but I observe that people often go for a walk or work in the park because the park has great greenery.

Subject-verb agreement: 'People' is plural so use 'have'. 'Expectation' should be plural 'expectations'. Use 'the park' and remove unnecessary filler words. 'Go for a walk or work' clarifies activities. Suggestion: match plural subjects with plural verbs and nouns, and include the definite article before a specific noun.

× Uh, which is very good for our, uh, eyes as well as they give us a fresh occupant and they have a suitable part for a walk.

✓ This is very good for our eyes, and it gives us fresh air and has a suitable path for walking.

Pronoun reference errors: 'which' and 'they' do not clearly refer to 'park/greenery'. 'Occupant' is incorrect; likely 'air' was meant. 'Part' should be 'path'. Use singular 'it' to refer to 'the park' and correct nouns. Suggestion: ensure pronouns clearly reference a single noun and choose correct vocabulary.

× Yeah, that's where they go off.

✓ Yeah, that's where they go to relax or walk.

'Go off' is informal and not appropriate here; the intended meaning is 'go to' or 'go to relax'. Use a clearer verb phrase. Suggestion: replace idiomatic or unclear phrasal verbs with precise verbs.

× If I had the chance, if I'm getting the chance, I'm going for a walk in Bashems, which is situated in Lahore because it approximately, it has the area of uh, 8 kilometers.

✓ If I had the chance, I would go for a walk in Bashems, which is situated in Lahore because it has an area of approximately 8 kilometers.

Conditional sentence mixing: use second conditional 'If I had the chance, I would...' instead of 'I'm going'. Remove duplicated phrases and correct word order: 'it has an area of approximately 8 kilometers.' Suggestion: use consistent conditional tense and common adverb order.

× So yeah, when, uh, if I'm getting chance and have enough time, I probably go for a walk in the Vasha Mosque.

✓ So yeah, if I get the chance and have enough time, I will probably go for a walk at the Vasha Mosque.

Mixing conditional forms and incorrect modal use: 'if I'm getting chance' should be 'if I get the chance'. For a real future possibility, use 'will probably'. Also use 'at' for locations like a mosque. Suggestion: use 'if + present, will' for real future conditions.

× So yesterday I go for a walk, uh, surprisingly, yesterday I go for a walk, uh, in my hometown.

✓ So yesterday I went for a walk, surprisingly, in my hometown.

Past event requires past tense 'went' not 'go'. Avoid repetition and place adverb 'surprisingly' appropriately. Suggestion: use past simple for actions that happened yesterday.

× My hometown area is approximately 2 kilometers.

✓ The area of my hometown is approximately 2 square kilometers.

Saying 'area is 2 kilometers' is incomplete; area units require square kilometers. If speaker means the town's size, use '2 square kilometers'. Suggestion: use correct measurement units for area.

× So I do R2 circles round, uh, to around my hometown, which is about four parameters.

✓ So I did two rounds around my hometown, which is about four kilometers in total.

Original is unclear: 'R2 circles round' and 'four parameters' are incorrect. Interpret as two circuits totaling four kilometers. Use past tense 'did' for yesterday and specify 'kilometers'. Suggestion: use clear phrases like 'did two rounds' and correct measurement terms.

× And it's, I think it's so very great for me and for my healthy.

✓ I think it is very good for me and for my health.

'So very great' is awkward; use 'very good' or 'great'. 'My healthy' is incorrect; the noun 'health' is needed. Suggestion: use correct noun forms and avoid redundant modifiers.