Walking— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be concise and clear. Start with a direct topic sentence answering the question, avoid repetition and filler words, and add one specific supporting detail using a linking word. Also correct mistaken words (e.g., 'work' → 'walk' or 'get to work').

예시: No, I don't walk a lot. However, when I can, I walk to work because it helps my fitness and boosts my energy during the day.

제안: Answer directly and use past tense consistently. Avoid repeating phrases and explain briefly why with a clear reason. Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' and give a specific childhood detail.

예시: No, I rarely went for walks as a child because I preferred staying indoors to play with toys and I didn't understand the health benefits of walking.

제안: Be precise and avoid repeating words. Use linking words (for example, 'because' or 'so') and provide specific reasons such as fresh air, scenery, or social interaction. Correct obvious slips ('bars' → 'parks').

예시: People enjoy walking in parks because of the fresh air and green scenery, and they often meet friends there, which creates a pleasant, social atmosphere.

제안: Give a direct answer then add one or two specific reasons using linking words like 'because' and 'for example'. Avoid repeating the same idea. Use correct noun forms ('hills', 'the hills').

예시: I would like to take a long walk in the hills because I enjoy the peaceful atmosphere and beautiful views, and hiking there helps me relax and exercise.

제안: Answer in the past tense and be specific about the recent walk. Avoid confusing conditional structures and incorrect words (e.g., 'oftenly'). Keep it short: a topic sentence plus one detail. Mention when and where you actually walked recently.

예시: Recently I walked to my school last week because I had a meeting there. It was a short walk of about 15 minutes.

× No, I do not walk a lot, but whenever I'm outside, I try to work and uh, whenever I'm going to my work, I try to, uh, work. I try to reach by walking because walking is good for health and it gives us uh, energy.

✓ No, I do not walk a lot, but whenever I'm outside or going to work, I try to walk because walking is good for health and gives us energy.

The original contains awkward verb usage and repetition ('try to work' instead of 'try to walk', 'going to my work' is wordy). This is a present tense context about habitual actions, so use simple present or present continuous correctly: 'I try to walk' and 'going to work' are more natural. Remove redundant words to improve clarity.

× No, when I was a child, when I was a child, I do not go outside to have a walk because in that time I didn't understood what's the importance of work. And, uh, I, I, I in, in my childhood, I would like to stay, I'd like to stay inside.

✓ No, when I was a child I did not go outside for walks because at that time I did not understand the importance of exercise. I liked to stay inside.

The sentence mixes present and past tenses incorrectly ('I do not go' should be past 'I did not go'; 'didn't understood' is incorrect past form; use base form after did: 'did not understand'). Also 'have a walk' is better as 'go for walks' or 'for walks' and 'importance of work' seems intended as 'importance of exercise' or 'walking'. Remove repeated phrases for clarity.

× People like to walk in bars because in parks there are, there are many people and it creates a good environment and it, it, it whenever the people meet together, it, it creates a good atmosphere and all over the, uh, they become happy in going to park.

✓ People like to walk in parks because there are many people and it creates a pleasant atmosphere when people meet; overall, they become happy going to the park.

'Walk in bars' is wrong; correct preposition and noun is 'walk in parks'. Also use 'going to the park' or 'going to parks' with the definite article for a specific place. Remove fillers and repetitions for grammatical and stylistic clarity.

× Uh, I would go in the hills if I had a chance to go for a long walk because I love hill because the beauty, uh, I get from the hill, it is, uh, amazing and I'd love to take a long walk.

✓ I would go to the hills if I had the chance to take a long walk because I love the hills; the beauty I get from them is amazing and I'd love to walk there.

Use correct preposition 'go to the hills' not 'go in the hills'. Use plural 'hills' and pronoun agreement 'them' for hills. Remove repeated 'because' and fillers. Make adjectives and nouns agree: 'the beauty I get' and 'is amazing' are clearer.

× If I have to go, I walk for late leave, I'll choose A to my school because I do not like to go school oftenly. But if I have to choose that, where did I want to go work lately I choose the school.

✓ Recently, if I had to go for a walk, I would choose to walk to my school because I do not like going to school often. If I had to choose where I went for a walk lately, I would choose the school.

The original is ungrammatical and mixes tenses and unnatural phrases ('walk for late leave', 'choose A to my school', 'oftenly' is incorrect). Use conditional forms consistently: 'if I had to' and 'I would choose'. 'Oftenly' is not a word; use 'often'. Clarify meaning with correct word order and sentence structure.