Reading— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 回答は自然で内容も良いですが、話が少し長く繰り返しや曖昧な表現（“Umm”, “very much”, “some”）が含まれています。トピック文を明確にし、理由や具体例を一つ二つに絞って短くまとめてください。また、不要なフィラーを減らし、語彙をもう少し正確に選んでください。例えば「illustrated books」は状況に応じて「graphic novels」や「magazines」に言い換えられます。

예시: Yes, I enjoy reading. In my free time I usually read novels and graphic novels, and during work breaks I read business articles or industry newspapers to keep up to date.

제안: 主張は明確ですが、文法の誤り（“on papers”→“on paper”、“lower the level of my sleeping”→“affect my sleep”）や繰り返しの発語が目立ちます。理由を一つか二つに絞り、リンクワード（for example, because, so）を使って構成を整え、正しいフレーズを用いてください。

예시: I prefer reading on paper because screens distract me and make it harder to sleep. For example, reading a printed book before bed helps me relax and fall asleep more easily.

제안: 答えの意図は伝わりますが、文法の問題（“when I gathering on information”→“when I'm gathering information”）と構造の不明瞭さがあります。二つの状況を対比する際は、明確なトピック文と対比表現（whereas, but）を使い、具体例を付け加えてください。またフィラーを減らし、文を簡潔に保ってください。

예시: I read carefully when I'm enjoying a novel because I want to follow the plot and notice details, whereas when I'm gathering factual information I usually skim headings and key points to save time.

제안: 意見は示せていますが、語順や冗長表現（“I prefer I like”）が問題です。主張→理由の流れを明確にし、接続詞（because, so）を自然に使ってください。また具体的な理由や場面（例えば学習や仕事）を付け加えると説得力が増します。

예시: I prefer detailed reading because I often read to learn and understand complex information. For example, when studying I read slowly and take notes so I can remember the key points.

× When I have spare time, I often read novels or some illustrated books and while working out during working hours, I often read newspapers or articles related to business.

✓ When I have spare time, I often read novels or illustrated books, and while commuting during working hours I often read newspapers or articles related to business.

使用する動詞の形や語の選択を修正しました。original used 'working out during working hours' which incorrectly uses present participle 'working out' (exercise) and is awkward in meaning; 'commuting' fits the context of reading while traveling to/from work. Also removed redundant 'some' before 'illustrated books' and added a comma before 'and' for clarity. Note: Explanation in English as requested.

× Uh, personally I prefer reading on papers because I I don't like to be glued on the screen.

✓ Uh, personally I prefer reading on paper because I don't like to be glued to the screen.

'papers' should be uncountable 'paper' when referring to the medium. Also corrected 'to be glued on the screen' to 'to the screen' which is the correct preposition. Removed duplicate 'I'. Note: Explanation in English as requested.

× It distract, distracts my concentration and uh, lower the level of my sleeping.

✓ It distracts my concentration and lowers the quality of my sleep.

Subject-verb agreement: the subject 'It' requires the third-person singular verb 'distracts' (not 'distract'). 'Lower' must be 'lowers' to agree with the singular subject. Also 'the level of my sleeping' is non-idiomatic; changed to 'lowers the quality of my sleep' for natural expression. Note: Explanation in English as requested.

× When I read something as a hobby, uh, especially reading novels, I read carefully and, and I, when I gathering on information, I, uh, don't read carefully.

✓ When I read something as a hobby, especially novels, I read carefully, but when I'm gathering information I don't read carefully.

Fixed sentence structure: removed redundant fillers and corrected verb form 'gathering' to appear with auxiliary 'I'm gathering' to form a proper present continuous clause. Replaced comma splice with coordinating conjunction 'but' to contrast the two ideas. Also streamlined repetition for clarity. Note: Explanation in English as requested.

× Umm, I've never thought about that before, but I would say I prefer detailed reading. Uh, that is because I prefer I like to gather information from what I read, so and detail reading enable me to do.

✓ Umm, I've never thought about that before, but I would say I prefer detailed reading. That is because I like to gather information from what I read, and detailed reading enables me to do that.

Corrected verb forms and gerunds: removed duplicate 'prefer I like', kept 'like to gather'. 'Detail reading' is incorrect; use the gerund/adjective form 'detailed reading'. 'Enable' must be 'enables' to agree with singular subject 'detailed reading'. Added 'that' at the end for completeness. Note: Explanation in English as requested.