Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 回答の冒頭で趣味を明確に述べ、その後に具体例と理由を加えると、より自然で効果的です。「trolling」は文脈に合わない可能性が高いため、意図が「travelling」なら正しい語を使いましょう。また、「playing the violin」「singing outdoors」のように語句を正しくつなげ、「entertain my soul」「make myself unwind」「leave all of the stress」は、より自然な「help me relax」「relieve stress」に置き換えてください。趣味を列挙しすぎず、最も好きなものを一つ具体的に説明すると、内容が明確になります。

예시: Yes, I have several hobbies, including playing the violin, singing, and spending time outdoors with my friends. My favorite is playing the violin because it helps me relax and take my mind off the stress of daily life.

제안: 過去の習慣についての質問なので、過去形を一貫して使いましょう。「applied a lot of classes」は不自然で、「my mother enrolled me in several classes」が適切です。「slating」はおそらく「skating」の誤りです。また、「learn swimming, slating, play...」は動詞の形をそろえ、「swimming, skating, playing the violin, and sketching」としましょう。最後の文は意味が不明瞭なので、趣味によって得た具体的な効果（忍耐力、自信、技術など）を述べるとよいです。

예시: Yes, I had several hobbies as a child. My mother enrolled me in classes for swimming, skating, playing the violin, and sketching. Although some of them were challenging, they helped me become more patient and confident.

제안: 長期間続けている趣味を具体的に説明できており、内容は質問に合っています。ただし、一文が非常に長く、接続詞が不足しているため、2～3文に分けてください。「learned violin」は「learned to play the violin」、「that last」は「that has lasted」、「during my university time」は「during university」が自然です。「passed level ten」は試験制度が不明確なので、「reached the highest level in high school」などと表現し、「grasp each ring」は意図に合う「play different pieces」に置き換えるとよいでしょう。

예시: Yes. I have played the violin since I was four, and I reached the highest level in high school. Although I did not play it much at university, I still enjoy it and can perform a wide range of pieces.

제안: 「No」と直接答えた後、家族との違いと家族の反応を説明している点はよいです。しかし、「the old Chinese education always lacked children to grasp a lot of hobbies」は意味と文法が不自然で、質問への関連性も弱くなっています。家族がどんな趣味を持っているのか、また自分とどう違うのかを具体的に述べましょう。「what I have」は趣味を指すなら「my musical ability」や「my dedication」にすると明確です。「super proud」は会話では使えますが、「very proud」のほうがIELTSでは適切です。

예시: No, we do not really have the same hobbies. My parents prefer quieter activities, such as reading and gardening, whereas I enjoy playing the violin and singing. However, they are very proud of my musical ability and always encourage me to continue.

× Actually the hobbies themselves can really entertain my soul and make myself unwind.

✓ Actually, the hobbies themselves can really entertain me and make me unwind.

After the causative verb make, use the object pronoun me, not the reflexive pronoun myself. A reflexive pronoun is used when the subject and object refer to the same person, but here the hobbies are making the speaker unwind.

× And I feel it is a way out to leave all of the stress.

✓ And I feel it is a way to escape all the stress.

The phrase way out to leave is not natural in this context. Use way to escape to express the idea of finding a method to get away from stress.

× When I was a child, my mom applied a lot of classes for me to learn swimming, slating, play the violin and sketching.

✓ When I was a child, my mom enrolled me in many classes to learn swimming, skating, playing the violin, and sketching.

We say enroll someone in a class, not apply classes for someone. The preposition in is required after enroll.

× When I was a child, my mom applied a lot of classes for me to learn swimming, slating, play the violin and sketching.

✓ When I was a child, my mom enrolled me in many classes to learn swimming, skating, playing the violin, and sketching.

The activities in this list should use parallel -ing forms: swimming, skating, playing, and sketching. Play does not match the grammatical form of the other activities.

× I have to say those tough hobbies just go through my body and make me into a person can do everything.

✓ I have to say those challenging hobbies shaped me and made me into a person who could do anything.

The speaker is describing the effect of past experiences during childhood, so the past-tense verbs shaped and made are appropriate. The phrase go through my body does not express this past development naturally.

× I have to say those tough hobbies just go through my body and make me into a person can do everything.

✓ I have to say those challenging hobbies shaped me and made me into a person who could do anything.

The noun phrase a person needs a relative clause to describe it. Add who before could do anything to create a complete and grammatically correct clause.

× Yes, I have to say I learned violin when I was four and I passed the level ten when I was in high school.

✓ Yes, I have to say I learned to play the violin when I was four, and I passed level ten when I was in high school.

The musical instrument violin normally requires the definite article the. The natural expression is learn to play the violin. However, level ten is used as a level name, so the article is not necessary before it.

× Actually it is the only hobby that last for my whole life.

✓ Actually, it is the only hobby that has lasted my whole life.

The relative pronoun that refers to the singular noun hobby, so the verb must be singular: lasts. Because the hobby began in the past and continues to the present, has lasted is the most suitable form.

× Even though I didn't play it during my university time still, I know how to grasp each ring and to play anything.

✓ Even though I didn't play it during my university years, I still know how to play it.

Even though already introduces a contrast, so still should not be placed inside the same contrasting structure in this sentence. Use still in the main clause instead. Also, the phrase during my university years is the natural expression for that period.

× Even though I didn't play it during my university time still, I know how to grasp each ring and to play anything.

✓ Even though I didn't play it during my university years, I still know how to play it.

University years is the natural noun phrase for the period when someone attends university. The phrase university time is not normally used in this context.

× So none of my family members actually had this type of hobby like me, but they are super proud of what I have.

✓ So none of my family members actually have this type of hobby like me, but they are super proud of what I have.

The question asks about hobbies that family members have now, so the present-tense verb have is needed. The past-tense verb had incorrectly suggests that they possessed this hobby only in the past.