Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Reduce hesitations and repetitions, make sentences concise and well-structured. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Use correct tense and prepositions (e.g., 'on weekends', 'after school or work').

예시: I enjoy several hobbies: reading books, listening to music and watching movies. For example, on weekends I usually watch films with friends, which helps me relax after a busy week.

제안: Use correct grammar (past tense) and avoid filler words. Give a clear topic sentence about childhood hobbies, then list specific activities with brief reasons or memories using linking words like 'and' or 'also'.

예시: When I was a child I had several hobbies. For instance, I often played badminton with my brother and soccer with my cousin, and I also played with dolls with my neighbors, which helped me make close friends.

제안: Be concise and complete. Begin with a direct answer (yes/no plus hobby), then contrast past and present with linking words like 'although' or 'but'. Avoid vague endings and ensure clarity about what remains a hobby now.

예시: Yes. Since childhood I enjoyed watching Disney Channel, and although I don't watch as much TV now, I still love films and documentaries on my laptop because they teach me about different cultures.

제안: Avoid sentence fragments and filler words. Give a direct answer about similarity, then provide a reason and a brief example using linking words such as 'however' or 'but'.

예시: Not entirely. Because of the generational gap we have different interests; however, we all enjoy watching movies together, which is an activity that brings us closer.

× I have several hobbies I really enjoy reading books, uh, listening to music and watching movies.

✓ I have several hobbies. I really enjoy reading books, listening to music, and watching movies.

Run-on sentence and missing punctuation caused clarity issues rather than article errors; however, adding a period and commas fixes sentence flow. Suggestion: separate independent clauses with a period or conjunction and use commas in lists.

× I usually umm watch movies in in every weekend.

✓ I usually watch movies every weekend.

Incorrect preposition and extra words. 'In' is unnecessary with 'every weekend'. Suggestion: Use 'every weekend' without a preposition and avoid filler words.

× I feel like after school or work having hobbies ha uh more.

✓ I feel like after school or work, having hobbies helps me more.

Fragment and unclear structure. Need a main verb and object. Suggestion: Complete the clause by adding a verb phrase such as 'helps me' and remove hesitations.

× I think I have various hobby when I was a child.

✓ I think I had various hobbies when I was a child.

Tense inconsistency and singular/plural error: 'when I was a child' refers to the past, so use past tense 'had', and 'hobby' should be plural 'hobbies'. Suggestion: Match tense to time reference and ensure plural agreement.

× I enjoy playing badminton with my brother, uh, playing soccer with my cousin and I even play like play dolls with my neighbors.

✓ I enjoyed playing badminton with my brother, playing soccer with my cousin, and I even played with dolls with my neighbors.

Tense should be past to match 'when I was a child'. Also 'play like play dolls' is redundant and incorrect. Suggestion: Use past tense verbs and simplify to 'played with dolls'.

× I really enjoy that time that I can, uh, take part in a lot of.

✓ I really enjoyed that time because I could take part in a lot of activities.

Incomplete sentence ending with preposition and vague phrase. Need past tense and an object 'activities'. Suggestion: Complete the sentence with a clear noun and match tense.

× When I was a child, I really enjoyed watching Disney Channel on the television.

✓ When I was a child, I really enjoyed watching Disney Channel on television.

Unnecessary definite article 'the' before 'television' in this context. Suggestion: Use 'on television' or 'on the television' when referring to a specific set; here general channel use calls for 'on television'.

× Right now, I'm not used to television as much as I used to, but I still enjoy watching movies and seeing the documentaries on my laptops.

✓ Right now, I'm not as used to television as I used to be, but I still enjoy watching movies and documentaries on my laptop.

Comparative structure awkward and missing 'be' after 'used to'. 'Seeing the documentaries' is awkward—use 'watching documentaries'; 'laptops' should be singular 'my laptop' unless multiple devices are intended. Suggestion: Use 'as ... as' structure and correct verbs and number.

× And there's my most favorite.

✓ And that's my favorite.

Awkward and incorrect comparative 'most favorite' (redundant). Also sentence fragment. Suggestion: Use 'my favorite' or 'my most favorite' is incorrect; use 'my favorite' or 'my most preferred' with context.

× I think because of the generational gap, so we don't necessarily share a lot of com like common hobbies, but uh, we all like to watch movies on television.

✓ I think because of the generational gap, we don't necessarily share a lot of common hobbies, but we all like to watch movies on television.

Redundant conjunctions: 'I think because... so' is incorrect; use one. Also filler words and fragmented 'com like' typo. Suggestion: Remove 'so' and fillers, correct 'common'.

× I think that because me and my brother, we are like, uh.

✓ I think that my brother and I are similar,

Incorrect pronoun order and case: use subject form 'my brother and I' not 'me and my brother'. Sentence unfinished—add a completion if needed. Suggestion: Use 'my brother and I' as the subject and finish the comparison (for example, 'my brother and I are similar in our tastes').