Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and avoid repetition. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details with linking words. Correct grammar (e.g., "the hobby I really love") and keep to no more than five sentences.

예시: I enjoy painting in my free time. Because I studied media studies at university, I learned many visual techniques that inspire my work. For example, last month I completed a small series of landscapes that I exhibited online.

제안: Answer directly and use correct past tense. Provide one clear specific detail and use a linking word to connect ideas. Avoid unclear phrases like "doing scaring."

예시: Yes, as a child I loved riding my bike around the neighborhood. In addition, I enjoyed playing make-believe games with friends, which helped me be active and creative.

제안: State the hobby clearly and give a specific example showing continuity. Use coherent linking words and correct tense. Avoid filler words like "uh" and unclear comparisons.

예시: Yes, I've painted since childhood and still enjoy it today. For instance, I started with simple sketches at age seven and later studied visual arts at university, which allowed me to develop more advanced techniques.

제안: Give a direct answer, then contrast with a brief reason and a specific detail about the family. Use linking words like "however" or "because" and finish the sentence clearly.

예시: No, I don't share the same hobbies as my family because they are mostly focused on professional careers. For example, my parents are a doctor and an engineer; however, I prefer visual arts and spend my free time painting and making crafts.

× Yes, I do have a hobby. I really love to paint when I have time because right now I'm very busy with my work.

✓ Yes, I have a hobby. I really love painting when I have time, but right now I'm very busy with work.

Redundant 'do' is unnecessary in simple present affirmative statements (sentence structure). Use the gerund 'painting' after 'love' (verb + -ing form) and remove the article before 'work'. Also replace 'because' with 'but' to show contrast between loving painting and being busy. Grammar problem type ID:26

× But the hobby we I really love is to paint and this is the main reason I took bachelors.

✓ But the hobby I really love is painting, and this is the main reason I studied for a bachelor's degree.

Incorrect word order and extra word 'we' create a sentence structure error. Use the gerund 'painting' after 'is' to name the hobby. 'Took bachelors' is nonstandard; use 'studied for a bachelor's degree' or 'completed a bachelor's degree'. Grammar problem type ID:26

× I took my study in media studies where I got a lot of things.

✓ I studied media studies, where I learned a lot.

'Took my study' is incorrect structure; use 'studied'. 'Got a lot of things' is vague and ungrammatical; use 'learned a lot'. Grammar problem type ID:26

× It is a question I really remember, but yes, when I was a child I really like to ride on bike and it was my favorite thing to do.

✓ That's a question I remember well; when I was a child I really liked to ride a bike, and it was my favorite thing to do.

Present tense 'like' should be past 'liked' to match 'when I was a child' (past time reference). Also use 'ride a bike' not 'ride on bike', and 'remember well' is more natural than 'really remember'. Grammar problem type ID:6

× Also, I really love doing scaring and that's it.

✓ Also, I really enjoyed making people laugh or doing silly things, and that's it.

'Doing scaring' is incorrect phrase and unclear. Likely intended 'scaring people' or 'making people laugh'; choose clearer verb. Adjust tense to past if referring to childhood. This corrects verb form and meaning. Grammar problem type ID:26

× Yes, I do have a hobby and that's painting.

✓ Yes, I have a hobby, and it's painting.

Remove unnecessary auxiliary 'do' in a simple affirmative sentence (structure) and keep 'painting' as noun form. This simplifies and corrects the sentence. Grammar problem type ID:8

× Uh, from past time I have done paintings more than I've ever done.

✓ Over time I have painted more than I ever have before.

'From past time' and 'I have done paintings more than I've ever done' are ungrammatical and awkward. Use present perfect to indicate experience over time: 'I have painted more than I ever have before.' This corrects sentence structure and verb usage. Grammar problem type ID:26

× And I have also told you that I have done my studies in visual sciences, which I got more time to study here.

✓ I have also mentioned that I studied visual arts, which gave me more time to learn here.

'Done my studies' is awkward; use 'studied'. 'Visual sciences' is unusual; 'visual arts' is likely intended. 'Which I got more time to study here' is ungrammatical; use 'which gave me more time to learn here.' Grammar problem type ID:26

× Umm I would say no because my family isn't interested in art but they are more in professions which are on professional basis.

✓ Umm, I would say no, because my family isn't interested in art; they are more focused on professional careers.

'They are more in professions which are on professional basis' is awkward and contains pronoun and word choice issues. Replace with 'focused on professional careers' for clarity and correct pronoun reference. Grammar problem type ID:12

× Like they are doctor and engineer in my family but I really love visual arts and doing paintings and crafts which.

✓ For example, there are doctors and engineers in my family, but I really love visual arts and making paintings and crafts.

Use plural nouns 'doctors and engineers' to match meaning (singular/plural issue). 'Doing paintings' is awkward; use 'making paintings' or 'painting'. Remove trailing 'which'. Also add article or structure 'there are' for clarity. Grammar problem type ID:1