Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the response more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details with appropriate linking words. Reduce filler words (e.g., “like”, “for like”) and avoid repeating similar ideas.

예시: Yes, I have a few hobbies. I enjoy walking for exercise and relaxation; after work I often walk for about two hours to clear my mind. If I prefer to stay home, I like watching Korean dramas or movies to unwind.

제안: Use correct tense and complete the sentence. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then give a specific example and a linking word to connect ideas. Avoid repetition ("competition" twice).

예시: Yes, I did. When I was younger I enjoyed drawing landscapes, and I even entered poster-making competitions at school, which helped me improve my skills and confidence.

제안: Give a direct, grammatically correct response and add a brief reason with specific details. Use correct tense and avoid abbreviations (e.g., "acads").

예시: No, I don't. As I grew up I had less free time for drawing because I focused on my studies and my job as an accounting associate, which leaves me little time for hobbies.

제안: Clarify the activity ("throwing landscapes" is unclear) and be specific about who and what you did. Use linking words and avoid redundant phrases like "really fun" and "really had a great time."

예시: Yes, I share hobbies with my siblings. When we were children we used to draw and color landscapes together, which was a fun activity that brought us closer and helped develop our creativity.

× Yes I do have a hobby like walking and watching K dramas or movies when I have free time.

✓ Yes, I have hobbies like walking and watching K-dramas or movies when I have free time.

Use of 'do have' is unnecessary; simple present 'have' is natural. Also 'hobby' vs 'hobbies': listing multiple activities requires plural. Use of gerunds 'walking' and 'watching' is correct. Add commas and hyphenate K-dramas for clarity.

× For instance after work if I still have time I will go for a walk for like 2 hours and when I don't feel like going out I'll just stay in my room and watch movies.

✓ For instance, after work, if I still have time I will go for a walk for about two hours, and when I don't feel like going out I'll stay in my room and watch movies.

Add commas for clarity. Use 'about' instead of 'like' for approximations in formal speech. 'I'll just stay' -> 'I'll stay' is more natural. Numbers under ten should be written as words in formal contexts but numerals are acceptable; changed to 'two' for formality.

× Yes I do when I was younger I enjoyed drawing beautiful scenery and I used to compete in an inter school competition of poster making competition and.

✓ Yes. When I was younger, I enjoyed drawing beautiful scenery and I used to compete in interschool poster-making competitions.

Tense is past; keep past tense consistently: 'was', 'enjoyed', 'used to compete'. Remove redundant 'competition' and hyphenate 'poster-making'. Combine into a single clear past-tense sentence and add punctuation.

× I don't because as I grew up I don't really have that much time to draw because I am now more focused on my acads and to my responsibility as an accounting associate.

✓ I don't, because as I grew up I haven't had much time to draw; I am now more focused on my studies and my responsibilities as an accounting associate.

Mix of tenses: 'grew up' is past, so use present perfect 'haven't had' to show continued lack of time. 'acads' is informal; use 'studies'. 'to my responsibility' is incorrect preposition; use 'my responsibilities'. Adjust punctuation.

× Yes, I do have the same hobbies as my family members, specifically with my siblings. When we were young, we enjoyed throwing landscapes and beautiful scenery and then we color it together and it's really fun to do and really had a great time.

✓ Yes, I have the same hobbies as my family members, especially my siblings. When we were young, we enjoyed drawing landscapes and beautiful scenery, and we colored them together; it was really fun and we had a great time.

Use 'have' instead of 'do have' for natural present tense. 'Specifically with' -> 'especially my siblings'. 'Throwing landscapes' is incorrect verb; use 'drawing'. Keep past tense: 'colored' and 'had'. 'Color it together' -> 'colored them together' to match plural 'landscapes'. Improve sentence flow and punctuation.