Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence naming your hobbies, then give 1–2 short specific details using linking words. Avoid repetition and filler sounds.

예시: Yes, I have several hobbies. I enjoy playing video games because they help me relax, and I often read and listen to audiobooks to learn new things or unwind before bed.

제안: Begin with a clear statement about childhood hobbies, use past tense consistently, add one specific detail and link ideas with a connector. Reduce hesitation words.

예시: Yes, when I was a child I often played football with my classmates and neighborhood friends, and I also liked running in the park because it kept me active and gave me time to socialize.

제안: Give a fuller response: start with a clear answer, then briefly explain why and provide one example or exception if applicable. Avoid repeating the same sentence.

예시: I don't have a hobby that I've kept continuously since childhood, because my interests changed as I grew older; for example, I used to enjoy drawing as a child, but later I shifted to video games and reading.

제안: Answer clearly and organize your explanation: state whether your hobbies are similar, then explain how family influenced you with one specific example. Use correct pronouns and simple sentences to avoid confusion.

예시: Yes, my hobbies are similar to my brother's. For instance, we both play video games and enjoy reading because our father often read and listened to audiobooks when we were growing up, which inspired us.

× Yes, I do my hobbies, play video games and reading book reading and listening book. That's uh.

✓ Yes, I do. My hobbies are playing video games, reading books, and listening to audiobooks.

Original contains run-on structure and mixed verb forms. 'I do my hobbies' is unnatural; use 'My hobbies are...' List items require parallel gerund forms: 'playing', 'reading', 'listening to'. Use plural 'books' and specify 'listening to audiobooks' or 'listening to books'. Improve fluency by breaking into two clauses and making items parallel.

× Yes, I did when I was child, uh, when I was child, I played football with my friends, classmates or, uh, neighborhoods friends, uh, and running, uh, that's all.

✓ Yes, I did when I was a child. I played football with my friends, classmates, or neighborhood friends, and I used to run, that's all.

Missing article 'a' before 'child' (sentence structure/article). 'Neighborhoods friends' should be 'neighborhood friends' (plural form and adjective use). 'Running' should be 'I used to run' or 'and I ran' to fit past habit. Ensure parallel clauses and include articles for clarity.

× I don't think so. I don't think so.

✓ I don't think so.

Repetition is unnecessary. Single clear sentence is sufficient. Removing duplicate improves conciseness and natural speech.

× Yes, my brother is my hobbies and your hobbies same similar. He his hobbies play video games and reading and listening book because my father is a listening and reading book a lot of when I was when you were a child.

✓ Yes, my brother and I have similar hobbies. His hobbies are playing video games, reading books, and listening to audiobooks because my father listened to and read books a lot when I was a child.

Original has incorrect pronoun and possessive use ('my brother is my hobbies'), wrong word order, and mixed tenses. Use 'my brother and I have similar hobbies' for clarity. 'His hobbies are...' requires gerunds and parallel form. 'Listening to' needs the preposition 'to'. Change 'is a listening and reading book a lot' to 'listened to and read books a lot' to correct tense (past) and verb forms. Correct 'when you were a child' to 'when I was a child' to match speaker's perspective.