Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make a clear topic sentence then give two specific supporting details using linking words. Fix grammar (use present simple), choose precise vocabulary (e.g., 'enjoy reading', 'relaxes me', 'expands my knowledge'). Keep it under five sentences and avoid vague phrases like 'big friend of comments'.

예시: I enjoy reading in my leisure time because it helps me relax and escape daily stress. In addition, reading non-fiction books expands my knowledge about history and science, so I often learn new facts that I can discuss with friends. For example, last month I read a book about climate change which gave me several practical ideas to reduce waste at home.

제안: Begin with a direct statement about your childhood hobby, then add one or two specific details (age, what instrument, how often you practiced). Use correct past tense and simple linking words (e.g., 'when', 'so', 'for example'). Avoid repetition and incorrect phrases like 'brought me a piano'.

예시: Yes. When I was a child I loved playing musical instruments, especially the piano. For example, when I was eight my parents bought me a piano and I practiced for at least an hour every evening, so I improved quickly and enjoyed performing at school concerts.

제안: State clearly that the hobby has continued and describe how you maintain it now. Use present perfect or present simple correctly ('I've loved', 'I still love'), include a specific activity (practice frequency, teaching daughter), and use linking words ('because', 'so'). Keep to two or three supporting details.

예시: Yes, I've loved playing the piano since childhood and I still practice regularly. Because I enjoy piano music, I now take my daughter to weekly piano lessons so she can learn too, and we often play simple duets together at home.

제안: Answer directly (Yes/No) then explain the difference with clear comparative language and correct vocabulary ('my brother prefers gaming'). Use linking words ('however', 'sometimes') and provide a specific example of doing the hobby together. Avoid unclear phrases like 'my heartbeat'.

예시: No, not exactly. I prefer listening to music while my brother enjoys playing video games. However, sometimes we do both activities together: for example, he plays a cooperative game while I put on background music so we can share time in the evening.

× Yes, of course in my leisure time I usually read books.

✓ Yes, of course, in my leisure time I usually read books.

Missing comma after introductory phrase; not a grammar category in list but fits present tense clarity. Add comma to improve sentence flow and clarity.

× I'm a big friend of comments is give me more happy in my life.

✓ I am a big fan of comics; they make me happier in my life.

The student used incorrect collocations and word forms: 'friend of' should be 'fan of', 'comments' likely intended 'comics', and 'give me more happy' is ungrammatical. Use comparative adjective 'happier' and restructure sentence for natural English.

× In addition to this is although give me more many idea and help me knowledge.

✓ In addition, they give me many ideas and help me gain knowledge.

Original sentence has incorrect word order and incorrect word forms ('give me more many idea'). Corrected version uses proper plural 'ideas', verb 'give', and collocation 'help me gain knowledge' to make a grammatical sentence.

× Yes, of course, I still remember whether that I'm a big friend of playing musical instruments or when I was 8 all night I asked my parents brought me a piano.

✓ Yes, of course, I still remember that I loved playing musical instruments; when I was eight I asked my parents to buy me a piano.

Problems: incorrect use of 'whether', wrong tense and verb forms ('I'm a big friend of playing' -> 'I loved playing'), and incorrect structure 'asked my parents brought me'. Use past tense consistently for childhood memories and correct infinitive 'asked my parents to buy'.

× I wish I I can play in piano all day.

✓ I wished I could play the piano all day.

Pronoun/tense and modal problems: duplicate 'I I', incorrect modal 'can' for wished past desire. Use 'wished' with 'could' and correct article 'the piano'.

× Yes, of course I still loving to play musical instrument when I go try and now I on the love piano music so I take my daughter to a piano.

✓ Yes, of course I still love to play musical instruments; now I love piano music, so I take my daughter to piano lessons.

Use simple present 'love' not 'loving' for habitual actions, plural 'instruments', and natural collocations 'piano music' and 'piano lessons'. Remove unclear fragments and correct word order.

× No, I uh, my hobby is listening to music, but my heartbeat just playing game.

✓ No. My hobby is listening to music, but my husband mainly plays games.

'Heartbeat' is incorrect word choice; likely meant 'husband' or 'boyfriend'. 'Just playing game' should be 'mainly plays games'. Correct pronoun/reference and verbs for clarity.

× Uh, however sometime I can play game with him and him keep listening to music with me.

✓ However, sometimes I play games with him, and he keeps listening to music with me.

Replace 'sometime' with adverb 'sometimes', use simple present 'play' for habitual action, correct object pronoun order 'he keeps' not 'him keep', and plural 'games'.