Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific details using linking words. Avoid repetition (e.g. “playing” repeated) and unnatural phrases like “train my hobbies” or “let my hair down” used awkwardly.

예시: I have several hobbies, including playing the piano and guitar, dancing, reading and cooking. For example, I practise the piano three times a week to improve technique, and reading helps me relax after work.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence about childhood hobbies, then support with specific examples and correct grammar. Use linking words like “also” or “in addition” and avoid repetition and incorrect tense/forms.

예시: Yes. As a child I loved playing outside with my friends, especially games like tag and soccer. In addition, I enjoyed reading storybooks and practising math puzzles, which helped me develop my problem-solving skills.

제안: Remove fillers (uh), state the main idea clearly, and give specific supporting details about how the hobby continued (frequency, what you read, why you enjoy it). Use linking words like “because” or “since”.

예시: Yes, I have always loved reading. I used to read every evening with my aunt, and I still read regularly now — mainly nonfiction about history and science — because it helps me learn new things and relax.

제안: Answer directly with a clear topic sentence, then explain differences with specific examples. Correct phrases (e.g. “green hand” unclear) and avoid vague expressions like “sitting like.” Use linking words such as “however” or “for example.”

예시: Not really. My parents prefer gardening and spending time outdoors, while my siblings enjoy sports like basketball and running. However, I prefer quieter activities such as playing instruments and reading at home.

× I have a lot of hobbies and like playing piano, playing guitar, dancing, reading books and cooking meals.

✓ I have a lot of hobbies and like playing the piano, playing the guitar, dancing, reading books, and cooking meals.

Use of gerunds (verb + -ing) is correct for listing hobbies, but musical instruments require the definite article 'the' (play the piano/guitar). Also add a comma before 'and' in a list for clarity.

× They are my best hobbies and whenever I train my hobbies I will relax and let my hair down.

✓ They are my favorite hobbies, and whenever I practice them I relax and let my hair down.

'Train my hobbies' is incorrect collocation; use 'practice' for activities. 'I will relax' shifts to future unnecessarily; present simple 'I relax' fits habitual actions. 'Best hobbies' is awkward; 'favorite hobbies' is idiomatic.

× Yes, I had when my childhood I get used to playing with my friends in the outside.

✓ Yes, in my childhood I used to play with my friends outside.

Mixes past tense forms. Use 'used to' for habitual past actions. 'Had' is unnecessary here. 'In the outside' is wrong preposition; use 'outside' without article.

× These are these were my hobby, my favorite hobby and another hobby was reading books and tackle the math mathematics.

✓ My favorite hobby was playing with my friends; another hobby was reading books and tackling mathematics.

Original repeats phrases and mixes tenses. Use consistent past tense 'was'. 'Tackle the math mathematics' is ungrammatical; use gerund 'tackling mathematics' or 'doing math'.

× Uh yes, uh, one of them reading books in my childhood.

✓ Yes, one of them was reading books in my childhood.

Sentence lacks a verb. For past habit, include 'was' or use 'I used to read books' to express childhood activity.

× I get used to reading books a lot with my aunt and until now I my hobby is reading books still and I use it to reading books and non fiction books and they are so amazing for me.

✓ I used to read a lot with my aunt, and even now my hobby is still reading books, especially non-fiction, which I find very enjoyable.

Mixes 'get used to' and tenses; 'used to' expresses past habit. 'I use it to reading' is wrong structure. Use clear clauses: 'my hobby is still reading' and 'which I find very enjoyable'. 'Non-fiction' is hyphenated.

× That's why I this is my hobby.

✓ That's why this is my hobby.

Redundant words 'I' cause ungrammatical phrase. Remove extra word to form correct clause.

× Especially not because my parents hobbies are working and working outside.

✓ Not really, because my parents' hobbies are working and working outdoors.

Add possessive apostrophe in 'parents''. 'Working outside' is better as 'working outdoors'. Also 'Especially not' is unnatural; 'Not really' fits the question.

× Also they have a green hand and my siblings they they are used to train with sports but I'm not.

✓ Also, they have a green thumb, and my siblings are used to training in sports, but I'm not.

'Green hand' is incorrect idiom; English uses 'green thumb' (though that usually means good at gardening). Remove duplicated 'they'. Use 'used to training in sports' for habitual activity. 'Train with sports' is incorrect preposition.

× I only interested in sitting like.

✓ I'm only interested in sitting and relaxing.

Missing verb 'am' and incorrect structure 'interested in sitting like'. Use 'interested in' + gerund. 'Sitting and relaxing' expresses intended meaning clearly.