Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more natural and concise. Start with a direct topic sentence, avoid unclear phrases ('laser time', 'hat trick schedule'), and give one or two clear supporting details. Use linking words to connect ideas.

예시: Yes, I have several hobbies. I love doing fashion illustration because it lets me express creativity, and I also enjoy watching TV to relax after a busy day.

제안: Answer directly and reduce repetition. Use clearer grammar and specific examples, and include linking words (e.g., 'for example', 'so') to organize the response. Limit to 3–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, I had many hobbies as a child. For example, if I saw a dancer I would try dancing, and if I heard someone singing I would practice singing, so I often tried different activities to find what I enjoyed.

제안: Be concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence stating the hobby, then add a specific reason or example of how it helps you, using a linking word like 'because' or 'so'.

예시: Yes. Since childhood I have wanted to be a fashion designer, and I enjoy doing fashion illustrations because designing clothes helps me relax and lift my mood after a bad day.

제안: Give a clear direct answer then support with brief specific contrasts. Avoid vague phrasing ('I'm the real one') and be careful with tone. Use linking words like 'however' or 'but' to contrast your hobbies with theirs.

예시: No, I don't. My family members have different interests—for instance, some enjoy dancing or singing and others like solving math problems. However, I prefer creative activities like fashion illustration, which makes me feel unique.

× I love doing fashion illustration.

✓ I enjoy doing fashion illustration.

The original is acceptable but 'love doing' is fine. However to vary register and match common collocations, 'enjoy doing fashion illustration' is clearer. This is a style suggestion rather than strict grammar error; keep present simple to describe current hobbies.

× I also enjoy watching television during my laser time.

✓ I also enjoy watching television during my leisure time.

The word 'laser' is a misspelling of 'leisure'. Use the preposition 'during' with 'leisure time' to indicate when the activity happens. Correct spelling and appropriate noun choice fix the meaning.

× That makes me really fresh where after a hat trick schedule.

✓ That makes me feel refreshed after a hectic schedule.

The original sentence has incorrect word choice ('fresh' vs 'refreshed'), an unclear conjunction 'where', and the phrase 'hat trick schedule' is incorrect. Replacing with 'feel refreshed after a hectic schedule' corrects verb-noun form and clarifies meaning.

× As a child I would say I had a lot of hobbies.

✓ As a child, I had a lot of hobbies.

Using 'would say' is unnecessary and awkward; simple past 'I had' correctly expresses past habitual state. Include a comma after the introductory phrase for clarity.

× I really really love everything what others do.

✓ I really, really loved everything that others did.

In reported past context, shift verbs to past tense ('loved', 'did'). Replace 'what' with 'that' to introduce a relative clause about others' actions. Also add a comma to indicate emphasis.

× For example, even if I see a dancer dancing, I would say I want to be a dancer and I would take it as a hobby.

✓ For example, when I saw a dancer dancing, I would say I wanted to be a dancer and would take it up as a hobby.

Maintain past viewpoint: change present 'see' to past 'saw' and 'want' to 'wanted'. Use 'take it up as a hobby' for natural collocation. Remove repeated 'I' for conciseness.

× Even if I see a people singing I would go for it and say I would become a singer and and take it further as a hobby.

✓ Even if I saw people singing, I would go for it and say I would become a singer and take it further as a hobby.

'A people' is incorrect; use 'people' without an article. Shift to past 'saw' to match the past habitual context. Remove duplicated 'and'.

× Since childhood I really had one hobby to become a fashion designer.

✓ Since childhood, I have really wanted to become a fashion designer.

'Since childhood' requires present perfect to show a state continuing to the present: 'have wanted'. 'Had one hobby to become' is awkward; 'wanted to become' is idiomatic.

× I really do love working on my fashion illustration, designing different designs that really makes me love what I do after a very bad day.

✓ I really do love working on my fashion illustrations and designing different outfits; that really makes me enjoy what I do after a very bad day.

Subject-verb agreement: 'designs that really makes' should be 'designs that really make' or rephrase. 'Fashion illustration' pluralized to 'fashion illustrations' or change 'designing different designs' to 'designing different outfits' for clarity and to avoid repetition. Use 'enjoy' instead of 'love' for variety.

× No, definitely not. I'm the real one 'cause everyone in my house has a different hobby.

✓ No, definitely not. I'm the odd one out because everyone in my house has a different hobby.

'The real one' is unnatural here; 'the odd one out' is idiomatic to express being different. Avoid colloquial 'cause' in formal speech; use 'because'.

× Some like to dance, some like to sing, some even like to solve math equations, which I really feel a bit weird 'cause I'm different from them and I love how creative I am.

✓ Some like to dance, some like to sing, and some even like to solve math equations, which I find a bit strange because I'm different from them and I love how creative I am.

Add 'and' for correct clause connection. Replace 'really feel a bit weird' with 'find a bit strange' for natural expression. Use 'because' instead of colloquial 'cause'. Maintain consistent verb forms ('find').