Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Говоря о хобби, постарайтесь быть более кратким и структурированным: начните с общей темы (да, у меня есть хобби), затем выделите главное хобби и приведите одно-конкретное объяснение. Уберите заполнители («uh», «you know») и повторения. Также используйте более естественные фразы (например, «I enjoy drawing comic and film characters in my free time; it helps me relax»).

예시: Yes, I have several hobbies, including drawing, swimming and watching TV. My favourite is drawing — I often sketch characters from comics and films in my free time because it helps me relax and express my creativity.

제안: Сократите повторения и используйте правильные формы времени. Начинайте с прямого утверждения о прошлом, затем добавьте одно или два конкретных подробных предложения с связкой (for example, because/so). Избегайте тавтологии («did a lot of exercise and swimming»).

예시: Yes, I did. When I was a child I took swimming lessons and enjoyed them a lot. For example, I went with friends, so we had fun together and got good exercise while learning new strokes.

제안: Уточните мысль и используйте более точные слова. Начните с прямого ответа, затем объясните где и как вы занимались пением, приведите конкретный пример (school events, choirs). Избегайте неясных окончаний («I have a sort»).

예시: Yes, I have sung since childhood. I often performed at school events and took part in the choir because my teachers encouraged me and said I had a good voice.

제안: Будьте более точным и логичным: начните с утверждения, затем объясните, кто именно разделяет хобби и почему это важно, приведите конкретный пример книги или семейной традиции. Исключите лишние паузы и неоконченные фразы.

예시: Yes, we share a love of reading in my family. My grandparents encouraged me to read when I was a child, saying it was part of our family tradition, so we often exchanged books and discussed what we read.

× Yes, I have a lot of hobbies such as drawing, swimming, and watching TV, but I especially love drawing because in my free time I'm willing to draw, uh, some of my characters of comics and films.

✓ Yes, I have a lot of hobbies such as drawing, swimming, and watching TV, but I especially love drawing because in my free time I like to draw some of my characters from comics and films.

The phrase 'I'm willing to draw' is awkward and not natural in this context; 'willing' indicates readiness rather than preference or habit. Use 'like to draw' (infinitive) or the gerund 'drawing' to express a habitual action or preference. Also use the preposition 'from' with 'characters from comics and films'. Suggestion: replace 'I'm willing to draw' with 'I like to draw' or 'I often draw' and change 'characters of comics' to 'characters from comics'.

× In my childhood I used to go in swimming courses, so I liked swimming.

✓ In my childhood I used to go to swimming lessons, so I liked swimming.

Use 'used to' with the base verb to describe past habits; the preposition should be 'to' not 'in', and 'lessons' or 'classes' is the correct collocation rather than 'courses' in this context. Suggestion: say 'used to go to swimming lessons' to indicate a habitual past action.

× Uh, I also went there with my friends. So when we are swimming, we had a lot of fun and and did a lot of exercise and swimming.

✓ I also went there with my friends. So when we were swimming, we had a lot of fun and did a lot of exercise.

Tense consistency: the sentence mixes present 'are swimming' with past 'went' and 'had'. Use past continuous 'were swimming' to describe an action occurring in the past. Also 'did a lot of exercise and swimming' is redundant: 'did a lot of exercise' or 'swam a lot' is better. Suggestion: use 'were swimming' and choose a single phrase such as 'did a lot of exercise' or 'swam a lot'.

× Yeah, one hobby that I continued since my childhood is singing.

✓ Yeah, one hobby that I have continued since my childhood is singing.

When indicating an action that started in the past and continues to the present, use present perfect ('have continued') rather than simple past ('continued'). Suggestion: use 'have continued' to show continuation up to now.

× I have a lot of activities in schools when we are preparing for something special.

✓ I have a lot of activities at school when we are preparing for something special.

Use 'at school' for activities taking place at the school in general; 'in schools' is incorrect if referring to the speaker's school. The tense 'have' is acceptable for habitual present, and 'when we are preparing' is fine. Suggestion: use 'at school' for natural phrasing.

× Uh, teachers, uh, teachers told me that I should sing and that I have a sort.

✓ Teachers told me that I should sing and that I have a good voice.

The phrase 'I have a sort' is unclear and ungrammatical. Likely intended meaning is 'I have a good voice' or 'a sort of talent'. Replace with a clear noun phrase. Suggestion: use 'a good voice' or 'some talent for singing' depending on intended meaning.

× Yeah, one same hobby that we have in our family is reading book.

✓ Yeah, one hobby that we share in our family is reading books.

'Reading book' is missing plural or an article. Use 'reading books' for a general activity or 'reading a book' for a specific instance. Also 'one same hobby' is awkward; 'one hobby that we share' is natural. Suggestion: say 'we share in our family' and use plural 'books' to describe the activity.

× My grandparents as, uh, I was a child encouraged me to read because they said that it's a privilege and this is our family, uh, like heritage.

✓ When I was a child, my grandparents encouraged me to read because they said it was a privilege and part of our family heritage.

Incorrect word order and filler words make the sentence unclear. Place the time phrase 'When I was a child' at the beginning, remove unnecessary fillers, use past tense 'encouraged' and 'said it was' for reported speech in the past, and collocate 'part of our family heritage'. Suggestion: reorder to 'When I was a child, my grandparents encouraged me to read because they said it was a privilege and part of our family heritage.'

× Yes, I, I can't say what, but because like that.

✓ Yes, I can't really explain why, but it's because of that.

The original is fragmented and uses fillers; pronoun reference and structure are unclear. Rephrase to a complete sentence: 'I can't really explain why, but it's because of that.' This clarifies the subject and the reason. Suggestion: avoid fillers and provide a full clause to convey meaning.