Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is clear and relevant, but it could be more concise and natural. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using a linking word. Avoid filler phrases like “at the moment” and repeated words such as “currently.”

예시: I enjoy several hobbies, but my favorite is sketching. For example, I usually spend an hour sketching landscapes or portraits in the evenings, which helps me relax and improve my observation skills.

제안: The answer contains unclear and incorrect phrases (e.g. “trusted in singing”, “had glasses for singing”) and some repetition. Give a clear topic sentence, correct vocabulary, and one or two specific examples or reasons. Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid contradictions.

예시: Yes, I enjoyed singing and painting when I was a child. For instance, I took basic singing lessons and painted simple canvases at home, and both hobbies helped me relax and express myself.

제안: This answer repeats earlier points and has grammar issues. Provide a concise topic sentence, then one specific example of how you’ve continued the hobby, using linking words to show continuity. Avoid redundant phrases like “as I mentioned”.

예시: Yes, I have kept singing and drawing since childhood. For example, I still practice singing once a week and sketch frequently, which has helped me improve my technique over the years.

제안: Good clear contrast between your hobbies and your family’s. Improve naturalness by fixing grammar (use ‘my family and I’ or ‘my family members and I’) and by adding a brief linking phrase to emphasize differences.

예시: No, my family and I have different hobbies. For example, my mother enjoys cooking and my sister likes playing sports, whereas I prefer creative activities like drawing and singing.

× At the moment I have quite a few hobbies, but I would say my favorite hobby currently is doing sketches or drawing during my free time.

✓ At the moment I have quite a few hobbies, but I would say my favorite hobby is sketching or drawing during my free time.

Redundant temporal markers ('At the moment' and 'currently') create awkwardness; use simple present 'is' for habitual activities. Use the gerund 'sketching' rather than 'doing sketches' for natural phrasing.

× When I was a child, I was quiet and trusted in singing as well as doing painting on the canvas.

✓ When I was a child, I was quiet and trusted singing as well as painting on canvas.

Incorrect verb pattern 'trusted in singing' should be 'trusted singing' or better 'was interested in' depending on meaning. 'Doing painting on the canvas' is wordy; use the gerund 'painting' and omit the article before 'canvas' for general activity.

× I actually had glasses for singing as well as painting.

✓ I actually had classes for singing as well as painting.

The word 'glasses' is a semantic error; context suggests 'classes'. This is a word choice issue (adjective/noun misuse). Replace with 'classes' to convey lessons.

× It helped me relax and put my mind at ease.

✓ They helped me relax and put my mind at ease.

Subject agreement: referring back to 'singing and painting' (plural), so use plural pronoun 'they' and plural verb 'helped' remains correct. Ensure pronoun matches antecedent.

× Whenever I did these two hobbies, I actually wanted to pursue one of them, but I ended up not doing that.

✓ Whenever I did these two hobbies, I actually wanted to pursue one of them, but I ended up not pursuing either.

Awkward phrasing 'not doing that' is vague. Use parallel verb 'pursuing' to match earlier phrase. 'Either' clarifies choice between two.

× Yes, as I mentioned I'm doing artwork as well as singing has always been one of my hobbies ever since I was a kid.

✓ Yes, as I mentioned, artwork and singing have both been my hobbies ever since I was a kid.

Mixed tense and structure: 'I'm doing artwork as well as singing has always been' combines present continuous with present perfect incorrectly. Use present perfect 'have been' for ongoing states since childhood and plural subject agreement 'artwork and singing have'.

× I've continued growing these hobbies in the sense that I have been performing singing and as well as painting or sketching during my free time.

✓ I've continued to develop these hobbies; I have been singing and painting or sketching during my free time.

Verb collocation: 'continued growing' is less natural than 'continued to develop'. 'Performing singing' is incorrect; use 'singing' or 'performing' alone. Remove redundant 'as well as'. Maintain present perfect continuous 'have been singing' for ongoing activities.

× No, me and my family members actually have very different types of hobbies.

✓ No, my family members and I actually have very different hobbies.

Pronoun case: use subject pronoun 'I' instead of 'me' when paired with another subject. Also 'types of' is unnecessary; 'different hobbies' is more natural.

× My mother prefers cooking while my sister prefers more physical activities such as sports, while I prefer doing more creative activities.

✓ My mother prefers cooking, my sister prefers physical activities such as sports, and I prefer creative activities.

Avoid redundant 'while' twice; use parallel structure with commas and 'and'. Use nouns ('creative activities') rather than gerund phrase 'doing more creative activities' for conciseness and parallelism.