Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Speak more fluently, avoid filler words (uh, um) and correct grammar (e.g., 'makes me relaxed' -> 'helps me relax'). Use a clear topic sentence and one or two concise supporting details with linking words. Also choose accurate vocabulary (e.g., 'express my interests' not 'express my interesting').

예시: I enjoy drawing. It helps me relax and allows me to express my interests, especially when I sketch scenes from nature. In addition, drawing boosts my creativity and improves my attention to detail.

제안: Correct tense and sentence structure (use past tense: 'I had a hobby'). Remove repetitions and filler words. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give specific supporting details such as when or how often you drew and one example of what you drew.

예시: Yes, I had a hobby as a child: drawing. I used to draw almost every day after school, mainly cartoons and animals, which helped me relax and encouraged my imagination.

제안: Clarify meaning (student said 'drink' likely intended 'drawing'). Use correct grammar and avoid hesitations. Give a clear statement that you have had the hobby since childhood and add one specific example of how it influenced you.

예시: Yes, drawing has been my hobby since childhood. For example, when I was small I would copy pictures from storybooks, which inspired me to try new styles and improved my artistic skills.

제안: Be more precise and use correct grammar: 'I share some hobbies with my family' or 'we enjoy playing board games together'. Remove filler words and give a specific example of a shared activity and how it affects your relationship.

예시: Yes, I share some hobbies with my family. For instance, we often play board games together on weekends, which helps us bond and have fun while talking and laughing.

× Drawing can make me relax and I can draw my uh, I can draw everything I want.

✓ Drawing can help me relax, and I can draw everything I want.

Use of 'make me relax' is not idiomatic here; 'help me relax' or 'make me feel relaxed' is correct. Also remove redundant 'I can draw my uh, I can draw' to avoid repetition. Suggest using 'help me relax' for natural expression.

× It helps uh, to express my interesting and boosts of my, uh, creativity.

✓ It helps me express my interests and boosts my creativity.

'Interesting' is an adjective but the noun needed is 'interests'. 'Boosts of my creativity' is ungrammatical; use 'boosts my creativity'. Also include object 'me' after 'helps' when appropriate.

× Yeah, I have a hobby when I was a child is also drawing.

✓ Yes, the hobby I had when I was a child was also drawing.

Mixes present 'have' with past 'was'. Use past tense 'had' and reorder sentence for clarity: 'the hobby I had when I was a child was also drawing'.

× Umm, as uh, I say uh, as the last last question.

✓ Umm, as I said in the previous question.

Ungrammatical repetition and awkward phrasing. Use past tense 'said' and standard phrase 'in the previous question' to refer back.

× Umm, I think during is uh, a things for me to relax, relax my stress and it puts off my creativity.

✓ I think drawing is something that helps me relax, reduce stress, and improve my creativity.

'During' is incorrect word; likely 'drawing'. 'a things' is plural mismatch. 'Relax my stress' is awkward; use 'reduce stress'. 'puts off my creativity' is wrong meaning; use 'improve' or 'boost my creativity'.

× Sure is my, uh, hobby for my childhood, umm, drink can make me feel relaxed and I think drink can, uh, inspire my creativity and I think.

✓ Sure. My childhood hobby was drawing. Drawing can make me feel relaxed and I think drawing can inspire my creativity.

Subject-verb and noun confusion: 'drink' is incorrect word; should be 'drawing'. Also tense should be past for childhood hobby ('was'). Ensure third person singular agreement: 'Drawing can make' is correct. Remove repetition and clarify.

× Umm, I do have a hobbies with my family, family members, like how I like to playing the games, the book, the book game with my family.

✓ I do have hobbies with my family members, like playing games and board games with them.

'A hobbies' mixes article and plural; use 'hobbies' or 'a hobby'. 'Family, family members' is redundant; use 'family members'. 'Like to playing' incorrect verb form; use 'playing' or 'like to play'. 'The book, the book game' is unclear; likely 'board games'.

× Uh, it's both our relationship, uh, during playing the games.

✓ It helps strengthen our relationship when we play games together.

Original is ungrammatical and unclear. Use a clear clause: 'It helps strengthen our relationship' and 'when we play games together' to express cause and time.