Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Focus on clear, grammatically correct sentences and precise vocabulary. Start with a direct topic sentence (name the hobby), then give 1–2 specific supporting details using linking words. Correct key vocabulary (e.g., "scare" is incorrect here) and avoid repetition.

예시: One of my favorite hobbies is reading suspense novels. For example, when I have free time or feel lonely, I read to relax and lift my mood, which helps me feel less alone.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence and avoid repeating the same idea. Use past tense consistently for childhood activities and link ideas (e.g., "because", "so"). Provide one brief specific example and an emotion or result.

예시: Yes, I loved dancing when I was a child. I even have a video of me performing at a school event, and whenever I watch it now I feel both embarrassed and amused because my moves were very different from how I dance today.

제안: Start with a concise topic sentence and use correct tense and grammar. Be specific about how the hobby developed and give one concrete detail about current level or achievements. Avoid vague negatives and unclear phrases.

예시: Yes, I have enjoyed drawing since childhood. As a child I often drew houses and mountains, and now I still draw regularly; although I'm still improving, I recently completed a small series of landscape sketches that show my progress.

제안: Answer directly and use comparative language clearly. State the contrast, then give 1–2 specific examples and a brief reason. Keep sentences complete and avoid trailing off.

예시: No, my hobbies are different from my family's. While they enjoy singing and dancing and socialising, I prefer drawing and spending quiet time alone because it helps me concentrate and relax.

× I have many hobbies to do but my one of my favorite hobbies is to scares.

✓ I have many hobbies, but one of my favorite hobbies is to scare people.

The sentence has plural/singular mismatches and incorrect phrasing. 'my one of my favorite hobbies' is redundant; use 'one of my favorite hobbies'. 'to scares' is incorrect: after 'is' use the base verb 'to scare' or 'scaring' depending on structure. Also add a comma to separate clauses. Suggestion: use 'one of my favorite hobbies is to scare people' or '...is scaring people.'

× Whenever I feel I have a free time or I feel lonely I just guess and try to refill my energy and motivate myself for not feel alone or loneliness.

✓ Whenever I have free time or feel lonely, I just go out and try to refill my energy and motivate myself so I don't feel lonely.

'a free time' is incorrect; use 'free time' without an article. 'I just guess' is likely wrong word choice; 'go out' or 'relax' fits better. 'for not feel alone or loneliness' is ungrammatical; use 'so I don't feel lonely.' Also add commas to separate clauses and simplify repetition.

× Uh yeah. I did have a hobbies when I was child, it was a dance and when I was a child I really loved to dance and I have a video that I have done once and it was very embarrass me, embarrassing.

✓ Uh yeah. I did have a hobby when I was a child; it was dancing. When I was a child I really loved to dance and I have a video that I made once and it is very embarrassing.

Use singular 'a hobby' (not 'a hobbies'). 'When I was child' needs 'a' or 'a child' corrected to 'when I was a child'. 'It was a dance' is awkward; use 'it was dancing' or 'my hobby was dancing.' 'I have a video that I have done' should be 'a video that I made.' 'Very embarrass me, embarrassing' is wrong form; use the adjective 'embarrassing' or 'it embarrassed me.'

× Whenever I watch now I feel certainly embarrassed and cute at the same time.

✓ Whenever I watch it now, I certainly feel embarrassed and cute at the same time.

Missing object 'it' after 'watch'. Adverb placement: 'certainly' should come before the verb or after the subject. Add commas and correct word order for natural English.

× Yeah, I do have a hobby since childhood is to draw uh, when I was a child, I used to draw a house, a mountain, like it's kind of not good.

✓ Yes, I have had a hobby since childhood: drawing. When I was a child, I used to draw houses and mountains; they were not very good.

Sentence structure is awkward. Use present perfect 'have had' for a hobby continuing since childhood. Use a colon or rephrase to introduce the hobby. Pluralize 'houses' and 'mountains' for generality and change 'it's kind of not good' to 'they were not very good.'

× But now I'm also an artist. I'm not a good in art, but I try my best to do good train and.

✓ But now I'm also an artist. I'm not very good at art, but I try my best to improve and train.

Use 'good at' not 'a good in'. 'Do good train and' is ungrammatical; use 'improve and train' or 'practice and train.' Ensure verbs and nouns are correctly paired.

× No, my family and my hobbies aren't same.

✓ No, my family's hobbies are not the same as mine.

Pronoun and possessive structure is wrong. Use 'my family's hobbies' and compare them 'are not the same as mine' to show contrast.

× Uh, my whole family has a hobbies to sing and dance, but I'm a different that I like to draw and I like to be alone.

✓ Uh, my whole family has a hobby of singing and dancing, but I'm different; I like to draw and be alone.

'has a hobbies' is incorrect; use 'has a hobby' or 'have hobbies'. Better: 'my whole family enjoys singing and dancing.' 'I'm a different that' is incorrect phrasing; use 'I'm different.' Simplify verbs and parallel structure.

× But my families are kind of extroverted and they love communicating with people, but I'm kind of different and sometimes.

✓ But my family is kind of extroverted and they love communicating with people, while I'm different sometimes.

'Families' should be singular 'family' when referring to the whole unit. The sentence uses 'but' twice; combine ideas with 'while' for contrast. Remove trailing 'and sometimes' or complete the thought: '...while I'm different sometimes.'