Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and avoid repetition; start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Use precise phrases (e.g., "I enjoy making short dance videos for personal memories") and limit to 3–4 sentences.

예시: I have several hobbies, mainly dancing and painting. In my spare time I also make short dance videos to capture memories, although I don't post them publicly. Additionally, I paint landscapes and portraits to relax.

제안: Remove hesitations and use clearer tense and structure. Start with a topic sentence, then give a specific example with a linking word. Replace fillers (uh, umm) and quantify time clearly.

예시: Yes. As a child I enjoyed drawing and painting. For example, during COVID I spent about two hours a day painting, often experimenting with color blocking and shading to improve my technique.

제안: Be slightly more precise and finish sentences fully. Use linking words to connect ideas and give one specific detail or result (e.g., awards or skills gained). Avoid vague endings.

예시: Yes, I have continued dancing and painting since childhood. I regularly entered school dance competitions and painting contests like rangoli, which helped me develop rhythm and creativity and even win a few prizes.

제안: Eliminate hesitations and streamline the response. Start with a direct statement, then contrast using linking words (e.g., "however" or "whereas"). Provide one specific comparison to make the answer informative.

예시: Not really; my hobbies differ from my family's. For example, my brother enjoys going to the gym and playing video games, whereas I prefer dancing and painting, which are more creative activities.

× I love making videos on training songs.

✓ I love making videos of training songs.

Use the preposition 'of' to show what the videos are about. 'Making videos on' is not standard in this context; 'videos of' or 'videos about' are more natural. Grammar Problem Type ID: 8

× I usually don't post them publicly but I just made them for memories and I also love dancing.

✓ I usually don't post them publicly but I just make them for memories and I also love dancing.

Tense consistency: the speaker describes a habitual action, so present simple 'make' fits better than past 'made'. Also 'for memories' is acceptable but 'as memories' or 'to keep as memories' is more natural. This correction targets tense and article/context clarity. Grammar Problem Type ID: 22

× Yes, like uh, now I had a hobby of doing drawings and paintings.

✓ Yes, like, I had a hobby of drawing and painting.

When referring to a past habitual activity, simple past 'had' is fine but the gerund forms should be 'drawing and painting' (not 'doing drawings and paintings'). Use parallel structure and remove filler 'now' which conflicts with past tense. Grammar Problem Type ID: 5

× I spent like 2 hours a day in doing drawings and I made a lot of paintings by umm yeah by filling colors and everything.

✓ I spent about 2 hours a day drawing, and I made a lot of paintings by filling in colors and so on.

Use 'about' instead of colloquial 'like' for approximate time. Use the gerund without 'in' ('drawing' not 'in doing drawings'). 'Filling in colors' is the correct phrasal form. 'And so on' is more natural than 'and everything.' Grammar Problem Type ID: 11

× Do you have a hobby that you've had since childhood?

✓ Do you have a hobby that you have had since childhood?

This sentence is grammatically acceptable; expanded contraction for clarity. No change in tense or structure is needed. This entry notes correct use of present perfect to describe an action from the past continuing to present. Grammar Problem Type ID: 8

× When I was a kid, I used to participate in every dance competition at school and I participated in every painting competition such as rangoli, which is a famous thing in.

✓ When I was a kid, I used to participate in every school dance competition, and I also entered painting competitions such as rangoli, which is a well-known tradition.

Streamline repetition: use 'used to' for habitual past and avoid repeating 'participated'. 'Enter' fits competitions context. 'Rangoli' is better described as a 'well-known tradition' rather than 'a famous thing in.' Also fix sentence ending which was incomplete. Grammar Problem Type ID: 26

× Not really, uh, as uh, like my brother has a hobby of doing gym and he loved playing games and on the other side I have the hobbies of dancing and painting.

✓ Not really. My brother enjoys going to the gym and likes playing games, while I enjoy dancing and painting.

Replace awkward phrasing 'hobby of doing gym' with 'enjoys going to the gym.' Maintain consistent present tense 'likes' and 'enjoy' for habitual preferences. Remove filler words and improve parallel structure. Grammar Problem Type ID: 12

× So yeah, my, it's different hobbies from my family members.

✓ So yeah, my hobbies are different from those of my family members.

Correct sentence structure and possessive use: 'my hobbies are different from those of my family members' is clear and grammatical. Avoid mixing 'my' and 'it's' which creates an ungrammatical fragment. Grammar Problem Type ID: 26