Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Give a direct, concise topic sentence answering the question, then add one or two clear supporting points with specific examples. Use correct grammar (subject-verb agreement, articles) and choose precise vocabulary (e.g. 'relieve stress', 'relax'). Keep your answer to no more than 4–5 sentences and avoid filler words like 'oh well' or repeated phrases.

예시: Yes, I do. I enjoy reading and playing sports because they help me relax and stay healthy. For example, I usually read novels for an hour before bed, which helps me unwind, and I play badminton twice a week to keep fit.

제안: Start with a clear topic sentence stating the hobby, then give specific, realistic examples and use correct past tense. Avoid unclear phrases like 'oral activities' or 'riding the pipe'—use precise verbs such as 'swimming', 'cycling' or 'flying kites'. Use linking words like 'also' or 'and' to connect ideas.

예시: Yes. As a child I spent a lot of time playing basketball with my friends. I also enjoyed outdoor activities such as swimming in the river and riding my bicycle, and sometimes we flew kites on weekends.

제안: Answer directly and use the correct tense and concise phrasing: say when you started and why you continued. Replace informal fillers ('uh', 'oh') and unclear expressions ('unprofessional basketball club') with clearer phrases like 'community' or 'school team'. Limit to 2–4 sentences and include one supporting detail about how often you practice or what you enjoy about it.

예시: Yes. I have played basketball since high school when I joined the school basketball team. I practice three times a week and enjoy the teamwork and competition, which kept me committed to this hobby.

제안: Give a clear, direct response and explain briefly with specific details. Avoid confusing or irrelevant phrases (e.g., 'cup of tea with me in my day life'). Use correct grammar and linking words like 'however' or 'but' to contrast. Keep it short and coherent: one topic sentence plus one supporting reason or example.

예시: No, not really. My parents and sister prefer quiet activities like gardening and reading, while I prefer sports and outdoor activities. However, we sometimes enjoy having tea together and talking about our interests.

× Oh well I think it's one people in the day life all must have their any hobbies like sport or reading or writing and it's playing an important role in real stress and give their people more unwire.

✓ Oh well, I think people in daily life should all have hobbies like sports, reading, or writing; they play an important role in relieving stress and helping people unwind.

This sentence has multiple sentence structure issues (ID 26). Problems include incorrect word order, redundant or wrong words (e.g., 'one people', 'all must have their any hobbies'), wrong noun forms ('sport' → 'sports'), wrong adjective/noun forms ('real stress' and 'unwire'), and lack of proper punctuation. Suggestion: simplify the structure into clear clauses, use 'people' without 'one', use 'daily life' or 'in daily life', use 'should' for recommendation, use plural 'sports', and replace 'real stress' and 'unwire' with 'relieving stress' and 'helping people unwind'.

× Yes, definitely. When I was younger, I always spend my time in order to play basketball and hang out with my friends to do some oral activities like swimming in the river, riding the pipe and flying the sky.

✓ Yes, definitely. When I was younger, I always spent my time playing basketball and hanging out with my friends doing outdoor activities like swimming in the river, riding a tube, and skydiving.

The main issue is incorrect past tense verb form (ID 5): 'spend' should be 'spent' to match 'When I was younger'. Also verb patterns need correction: use gerunds after 'spent my time' ('playing', 'hanging out', 'doing'), and some vocabulary is incorrect ('oral activities' → 'outdoor activities', 'riding the pipe' → 'riding a tube', 'flying the sky' → 'skydiving' or 'paragliding'). Suggestion: keep consistent past tense and use correct gerunds and accurate activity names.

× Oh, that's definitely, uh, after being the high school student, I started to play basketball like my hobby, uh, because it's time I in enter in the unprofessional basketball club and I started to practice and playing basketball in this team.

✓ Oh, that's definitely true. After I became a high school student, I started to play basketball as a hobby because I joined a non-professional basketball club and began practicing and playing with the team.

This has sentence structure problems and tense/word choice issues (ID 26). 'After being the high school student' is awkward; use 'After I became a high school student'. 'Like my hobby' should be 'as a hobby'. 'It's time I in enter in' is ungrammatical; correct is 'I joined'. Maintain consistent past tense: 'joined', 'began practicing and playing'. Suggestion: rephrase for natural English and consistent tense.

× Uh, I don't think so B because my family called my mother, father, my sister and they don't have any the same similar points in the hobbies and the uh and the cup of tea with me in my day life.

✓ Uh, I don't think so because my family—my mother, father, and sister—do not share the same hobbies or daily routines as I do.

This sentence contains incorrect pronoun/reference and wording (ID 12). 'My family called my mother, father, my sister' is incorrect phrasing; use apposition with commas or dashes. 'They don't have any the same similar points in the hobbies' is ungrammatical and redundant ('any', 'same', 'similar'). 'The cup of tea with me in my day life' is unclear; intended meaning likely 'daily routines' or 'daily habits'. Suggestion: simplify to 'do not share the same hobbies or daily routines as I do' and ensure pronoun/reference clarity.