Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Improve grammar and fluency: correct singular/plural and articles, combine short sentences, and clarify timing. Use linking words to show sequence and reason. Keep within 3–5 sentences and avoid filler words.

예시: Yes, I have a few hobbies, and one of my favorites is yoga. I started in September last year and now go twice a week: a Saturday morning class and another class on Thursdays. I enjoy it because the stretches are challenging and help me relax.

제안: Make sentences complete and more specific: avoid trailing phrases, use linking words to connect ideas, and give a brief example of an activity or what you tried. Watch tense consistency and pronoun use.

예시: Yes, I had several hobbies as a child. For example, I joined a hip-hop crew and we practised once a week and performed at occasional shows for our parents. I was also a member of a girls' club where we met weekly and enjoyed trying new crafts and games.

제안: Improve pronunciation of informal words and remove fillers like 'kinda'. Fix plural/singular and use linking words to contrast past and present. Provide a concise reason with specific example or a named book/author to enrich content.

예시: Yes — reading. I began at about eight with simple children's books, and now I read a wide range of genres from thrillers to romance. I love reading because it lets me escape daily stress; for example, a good thriller completely absorbs my attention.

제안: Improve sentence cohesion and correct awkward phrases: remove short fragment 'Actually.' and replace 'it bounce you' with a clear effect (e.g., 'it energises us' or 'it helps us relax'). Use linking words to explain benefits and frequency clearly.

예시: Yes, my sister and I both enjoy yoga — we started together last September and usually attend classes once or twice a week. It's a lovely way to spend time together because it helps us relax and stay energised.

× One of my favorite hobby is yoga.

✓ One of my favorite hobbies is yoga.

'One of' requires a plural noun after it; 'hobby' should be plural 'hobbies' to agree with the phrase 'one of my favorite'. Suggestion: Use plural after 'one of' (one of my favorite hobbies).

× 1 is a morning class in on Saturday and the other is on Thursday.

✓ One is a morning class on Saturday and the other is on Thursday.

The sentence has a typo '1' and incorrect preposition 'in on'. Use 'one' (word) and the correct preposition 'on' for days. Also avoid duplicate prepositions. Suggestion: Say 'One is a morning class on Saturday'.

× And I like the that you stretch, it's challenging.

✓ And I like that you stretch; it's challenging.

Extra article 'the' before 'that' is incorrect. Remove 'the'. Also use proper punctuation between clauses. Suggestion: 'I like that you stretch.'

× I joined a hip hop crew and we usually practiced once a week and we also had some shows where our parents came.

✓ I joined a hip hop crew and we usually practiced once a week, and we also had some shows where our parents came.

Mainly punctuation; tense 'joined' is past and 'usually practiced' is fine in narrative past. Add comma for clarity. Suggestion: Keep past tense consistency and separate clauses with a comma.

× And another hobby was I was in a Girls Club where we also met up once a week and it was so much fun to try new.

✓ Another hobby was being in a Girls Club, where we also met up once a week, and it was so much fun to try new things.

Awkward structure 'another hobby was I was in' should use gerund 'being in'. 'Try new' is incomplete; add the noun 'things'. Suggestion: Use 'being in' and complete the phrase 'try new things'.

× I started when I was around 8 years old with simple children's book and nowadays I read kinda every genre from thriller to romance books.

✓ I started when I was around 8 years old with simple children's books, and nowadays I read kind of every genre from thrillers to romance.

'Children's book' needs plural 'books' and 'kinda' is informal; use 'kind of'. 'Thriller' used as a noun should be plural 'thrillers', and 'romance books' can be shortened to 'romance'. Suggestion: Use correct plurals and formal phrasing in this context.

× And one of the main things I love about reading is that you can escape the real world and and cancel out the noise.

✓ One of the main things I love about reading is that you can escape the real world and cancel out the noise.

Sentence starts with unnecessary 'And'; also 'and and' duplicated. Remove extra conjunction and duplicate. Suggestion: Begin the sentence without 'And' and avoid duplicated words.

× My sister and I share our love for yoga. Actually. We started together last September and we usually attend once or twice a week at yoga class together as well.

✓ My sister and I share our love for yoga. Actually, we started together last September, and we usually attend a yoga class together once or twice a week.

Fragment 'Actually.' should be attached with comma. 'Attend once or twice a week at yoga class' has incorrect word order and missing article 'a'. Reorder to 'attend a yoga class together once or twice a week.' Suggestion: Combine fragments and use correct article and word order.

× I think it's such a nice way to spend time together by doing something active and it bounce you.

✓ I think it's such a nice way to spend time together by doing something active; it boosts you.

'It bounce you' is ungrammatical: 'bounce' doesn't take 'you' in this sense. Use a verb like 'energizes', 'lifts you', or 'boosts you'. Also replace conjunction or use punctuation. Suggestion: Use appropriate verb (energizes/boosts) and correct verb form.