Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence naming two or three main hobbies, then give one specific detail about one hobby. Avoid listing too many items and correct grammar (e.g., tense and agreement). Use a linking phrase to explain why you bake.

예시: I enjoy several hobbies, especially writing, baking and playing badminton. For example, I bake quite often because kneading dough helps me relieve stress and I love experimenting with new recipes. I also play badminton twice a week to stay fit.

제안: Use correct past tense and a clear topic sentence. Mention the most important childhood hobbies and give a specific memory or detail, linked logically with words like "for example" or "also". Avoid repeating phrases such as "I used to" too often.

예시: Yes, I had many hobbies as a child, including writing stories and playing outdoors. For example, I often ran through the farmland near my house and rode my bike along the main road to the seaside, where I would play traditional Filipino games with friends.

제안: Provide a concise topic sentence and clarify the meaning. Use correct grammar and choose clearer expressions (e.g., "first love" instead of "first laugh"). Add a specific supporting detail about what you write or how often you practice, using a linking word like "because" or "so".

예시: Yes, I have written poems and stories since childhood because storytelling has always been my passion. For example, I still write short stories once a month and I keep a notebook of ideas from my childhood that inspire me.

제안: Respond directly and politely with a clear topic sentence: say whether your hobbies are shared by family or not, and give a specific reason or example. Avoid informal fillers and incomplete sentences; correct pronoun use and finish your thought. Use linking words like "however" or "so" to connect ideas.

예시: No, my family doesn't share my hobby of creative writing. For example, while my parents enjoy gardening and my sister likes sports, I'm the only one who spends hours writing stories, which makes my hobby quite unique in the family.

× I have a lot of hobbies when I was a child.

✓ I had a lot of hobbies when I was a child.

The sentence mixes present tense 'have' with past time reference 'when I was a child'. Use past tense 'had' to match the past time frame. Suggestion: when describing past habits or states, use past simple (had, liked, enjoyed).

× I also love writing novels, stories, poems.

✓ I also loved writing novels, stories, and poems.

The context asks about childhood hobbies, so present tense 'love' should be past 'loved' to match the past time frame. Also add a serial comma for clarity. Use past simple for past habits.

× I used to run in the farmland, I used to bike in the main roads, go to the seaside and I also play Filipino games.

✓ I used to run in the farmland, I used to bike on the main roads, go to the seaside, and I also played Filipino games.

'Used to' correctly expresses past habitual actions; however 'play' must be past 'played' to match, and the preposition should be 'on the main roads' (preposition error). Also separate clauses with commas and include 'and' before the final item.

× Yes, I have a lot of hobbies like watching movies, writing novels, playing badminton, swimming, running, walking and sometimes I do a lot of baking because it made me relieve my stress and made me happy.

✓ Yes, I have a lot of hobbies like watching movies, writing novels, playing badminton, swimming, running, walking, and sometimes baking because it helps me relieve stress and makes me happy.

The original mixes past 'made' with present-tense statement about current hobbies. Use present tense 'helps' and 'makes' to describe ongoing effects. Also 'do a lot of baking' is wordy; 'baking' is sufficient. Remove 'my' before 'stress' and use 'relieve stress' as standard collocation.

× Yes, my hobby of writing poems, stories did not really made me stop because writing is actually my first laugh.

✓ Yes, my hobby of writing poems and stories did not really stop because writing is actually my first love.

After auxiliary 'did', the main verb should be in base form: use 'stop' not 'made me stop'. Also 'made me stop' is awkward here. 'First laugh' is incorrect; correct collocation is 'first love'. Use 'poems and stories' with 'and' between items.

× So you know, first love never dies and so does my hobby in writing.

✓ So you know, first love never dies, and neither does my love of writing.

'So does my hobby in writing' is awkward; use parallel structure 'neither does my love of writing' to mirror 'first love never dies'. 'Love of writing' is more natural than 'hobby in writing'.

× I am really one-of-a-kind kind of weird girl who loves to write a frustrated writer and then and she's the only one in that family with that kind of hobby.

✓ I am a one-of-a-kind, somewhat weird girl who loves writing and is the only one in my family with that hobby.

Original sentence has pronoun confusion and redundancy: 'loves to write a frustrated writer' is ungrammatical. Simplify to 'loves writing' and make pronouns consistent: use 'is the only one in my family' rather than 'she's' which breaks sentence flow. Also remove repeated 'kind' and fix article 'a one-of-a-kind'.

× Well, people tell me that it's actually a talent rather than.

✓ Well, people tell me that it's actually a talent rather than just a hobby.

Sentence is incomplete; 'rather than' needs a comparison object. Add 'just a hobby' to complete the contrast. Ensure the sentence finishes the comparative structure.