Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence naming 2–3 main hobbies, avoid filler words like “ma'am” and vague phrases like “and moreover.” Use linking words if you add a reason or brief detail.

예시: Yes, I have several hobbies. I enjoy singing and dancing, and I also like reading novels in my spare time. Because singing helps me relax and dancing keeps me active, I try to practice both most days.

제안: Give a complete, natural sentence and add one specific supporting detail. Use a linking word to connect the topic sentence with the detail (e.g., “because,” “and”). Correct minor grammar (article and verb forms).

예시: Yes, when I was a child my hobby was dancing, and I used to take lessons twice a week because I loved performing at school events.

제안: Answer directly and avoid repetition. Use one clear sentence to state continuity (e.g., “Yes, I have danced since childhood.”) then one supporting detail about how you keep it now. Keep language natural and avoid awkward phrases like “childhood era” or “still on the way.”

예시: Yes, I have danced since childhood. I continue to dance now by attending a weekly dance class and performing in local events.

제안: Structure your answer: state whether you share hobbies, give a specific reason and an example. Remove fillers like “umm” and avoid awkward phrasing. Use linking words such as “because” or “so” appropriately.

예시: Yes, I share a hobby with my family. Because my sister loves dancing, I grew up dancing with her and now we sometimes practice and perform together.

× Yes ma'am, I have so many hobbies such as singing, working, dancing and moreover.

✓ Yes ma'am, I have many hobbies such as singing, working, and dancing.

Error type relates to awkward adverb/adverbial use and sentence structure. 'So many' is informal but acceptable; 'and moreover' is incorrect here because moreover is a sentence adverb used to add information and should not end a list. Remove 'moreover' and add a serial comma and 'and' before the final item for clear list structure. Suggestion: use 'many' or 'so many' in casual speech and avoid 'moreover' at the end of a list.

× Yes, when I was child my hobby was dancing.

✓ Yes, when I was a child my hobby was dancing.

Missing the indefinite article 'a' before the singular noun 'child'. This is a singular and article issue. Always use 'a child' when referring to being a child in general. Suggestion: use 'when I was a child' or 'when I was young'.

× Yeah, my hobby was when I was in childhood era, my hobby was dancing and it was still on the way. Yeah, I like to dance now as well.

✓ Yes, I have had a hobby of dancing since childhood, and I still like to dance now.

This sentence has multiple structure problems: awkward phrase 'in childhood era', repetition 'my hobby was', and vague 'it was still on the way'. The corrected version uses present perfect 'have had' to show an ongoing hobby from the past to present and combines ideas into a single clear sentence. Suggestion: use 'since childhood' to express origin and present perfect to show continuity: 'I have had a hobby of dancing since childhood.'

× Yeah, I'm same hobby as my family member because my sister, she loves dancing, so that's why umm, from the family, I just got that hobby.

✓ Yes, I have the same hobby as a family member because my sister loves dancing, so I picked up the hobby from my family.

Several pronoun and article errors: 'I'm same hobby' is incorrect—use 'I have the same hobby'. 'My family member' needs an article or specific reference ('a family member' or 'my family members'). The clause 'my sister, she loves' has redundant subject pronouns; remove the extra 'she'. 'I just got that hobby' is informal; 'I picked up the hobby' or 'I inherited the hobby' is clearer. Suggestion: use correct subject + verb forms and avoid redundant pronouns: 'my sister loves dancing' not 'my sister, she loves'.