Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the response more natural and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar (e.g. "going" instead of "go"), and avoid repetition. Use one or two linking phrases to connect ideas and give a specific detail about your routine. Keep it within 2–4 sentences.

예시: I enjoy playing basketball and doing strength training. I started working out during the 2020 quarantine, and it helped me lose weight—from 77 kg down to 65 kg. Because I train three times a week, I feel healthier and more energetic now.

제안: Avoid filler words and repetition; give a clear topic sentence and concise supporting details. Use linking words (because, although, so) to explain reasons, and include a specific example of how you improved. Correct grammar: "I didn't have any coaches" and reduce hesitations.

예시: Yes—basketball was my main hobby as a child because it is very popular in the Philippines. Although I had no formal coaching, I taught myself by watching YouTube tutorials and practicing daily, which improved my shooting and dribbling skills.

제안: Be more concise and avoid repeating phrases like "I believe" and "I find myself." Provide one clear statement about how often you play and a reason or result. Use linking words to make the answer coherent.

예시: Yes—I have played basketball since I was four and still love it. Even though I only play casually, I usually practice from Monday to Friday, which helps me stay fit and improve my skills.

제안: Remove hesitations and redundant phrases. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give a specific example (the event) and explain how your dad helped you. Keep it to two or three sentences and avoid repeating words like "only".

예시: Yes, I share basketball as a hobby with my dad. At my school they hold a "Daddy's Cup" where fathers play, and my dad taught me several moves and drills that helped improve my game.

× Currently my hobbies are basketball and go working out, strength training since back in 2020 quarantine.

✓ Currently my hobbies are basketball and working out; I have been doing strength training since the 2020 quarantine.

The phrase 'go working out' is incorrect; after 'and' with hobbies we use gerund 'working out' (verb + -ing). Also 'since back in 2020 quarantine' is awkward; use 'since the 2020 quarantine' and present perfect continuous 'have been doing' fits ongoing activity. ID:8

× I used to be overweight, I used to be 77 KG and currently I am 65 KG thanks to my current hobbies that helped me throughout my journey.

✓ I used to be overweight; I was 77 kg and currently I am 65 kg thanks to my hobbies that helped me throughout my journey.

Repeated 'used to' is redundant; use 'was' for a specific past state (77 kg). 'KG' should be lower-case 'kg'. Also comma splice fixed. The hobbies 'helped' is fine in past; structure clarified. ID:5

× I fell in love with the game since in the Philippines the sport is really popular and I found myself that I was good at it despite I didn't have any training or or coaches I I I was self-taught and that really made me love the game since I can only can watch YouTube to improve.

✓ I fell in love with the game because in the Philippines the sport is really popular, and I found that I was good at it despite not having any training or coaches; I was self-taught, and that made me love the game because I could only watch YouTube to improve.

Use 'because' instead of 'since' to express reason; 'despite not having' is correct prepositional structure rather than 'despite I didn't have'. Remove repetition and filler 'I I I'. Use past ability 'could' instead of 'can' for past context. Also fix sentence run-on with punctuation. ID:11

× As I mentioned, basketball has already been a part of me since I was four years old.

✓ As I mentioned, basketball has been a part of me since I was four years old.

'Has already been' is awkward; 'has been' is sufficient to express continuous state from past to present. Tense consistency maintained. ID:6

× Although I play this game casually, I believe that this still carries a part of me where I still find myself to play basketball from Mondays to Fridays.

✓ Although I play the game casually, it remains a part of me and I often find myself playing basketball from Monday to Friday.

Adverb 'still' was misplaced and repeated; use 'often' or 'remain' for clarity. Use singular weekday range 'Monday to Friday'. 'Find myself playing' is correct gerund structure. ID:20

× I find myself wanting to play the game more.

✓ I find myself wanting to play the game more.

Sentence is correct; no change needed. No grammar problem from the list applies. ID:11

× Uh, currently I have the same hobby as my dad, which is basketball since in our school there's there's an event which is the daddy's cup where only daddies or fathers of the students can only play.

✓ Currently I share the same hobby as my dad, which is basketball, because at our school there is an event called the Daddy's Cup where only fathers of students can play.

Use 'the' and 'there is' properly; remove duplicate 'there's'. 'Daddy's cup' should be capitalized as a proper name and 'daddies' informal; use 'fathers'. Remove redundant 'only'. Also punctuation and sentence flow improved. ID:17

× And my dad has taught me skills and moves from basketball to help me further improve my game.

✓ My dad has taught me basketball skills and moves to help me further improve my game.

Starting with 'And' is informal; removed. 'Skills and moves from basketball' is awkward—use 'basketball skills and moves'. Pronoun use is fine otherwise; wording made concise. ID:12