Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence naming your main hobbies, then give one brief reason for each. Use linking words (for example, because, and) to connect ideas. Keep it to no more than 3–4 short sentences and avoid filler sounds like "uh".

예시: I have two main hobbies: reading and gardening. I enjoy reading because it helps me learn new things and relax. Gardening is important to me because I come from a farming family and it makes me feel connected to nature.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence and one specific example. Remove hesitations and avoid repeating words. Use a linking phrase like "for example" once, then describe the activity and what you used or enjoyed about it.

예시: Yes. As a child I especially liked painting stones. For example, I would sit by the road and paint rocks using watercolors and colored pencils, which helped me be creative and patient.

제안: Begin with a direct topic sentence and give specific details: when you started, what you read, and why you still enjoy it. Remove repetition and fillers. Use one linking word to connect past habit to present (for example, "and I still enjoy it because...").

예시: Yes. I've loved reading since I was in fifth grade and I have continued ever since. I especially read crime and mystery novels, because I enjoy trying to solve the puzzles, and I still read regularly now.

제안: Answer directly and give one or two specific examples of shared activities. Use linking words (for example, "because" and "for instance") and avoid vague phrases. Keep sentences short and clear.

예시: Yes. My family and I share an interest in gardening because we come from a farming background. For instance, when we want to relax or solve family stress we garden together, removing weeds and planting new flowers or vegetables.

× So I belong to a farmers family.

✓ So I belong to a farmer's family.

The noun phrase requires a possessive singular form 'farmer's family' (use of the possessive apostrophe) rather than the plural 'farmers family'. Use the article/possessive to show the family is of a farmer; alternatively 'a farming family' is also correct.

× And I am good reader.

✓ And I am a good reader.

A countable noun 'reader' needs an article 'a' before it. Without the article the adjective+noun phrase is ungrammatical. Insert 'a' to form the correct noun phrase.

× That's why I'm I love.

✓ That's why I love it.

The original contains an extra pronoun and incorrect verb structure. Replace the redundant 'I'm I' with the subject 'I' and complete the clause with an object 'it' or restructure as 'That's why I love reading/gardening.' Ensure subject-verb-object order.

× There were several hobbies when I, when I was a child,

✓ I had several hobbies when I was a child,

The 'there were' construction is awkward here because the experiencer 'I' is the natural subject. Use 'I had' to indicate possession of hobbies in the past. Also remove the repeated filler phrase.

× I used, uh, for example, if I was sitting on the road and I started, and at the time I started, started painting, painting the rocks or stones over there with Mike watercolors and pencil colors or maybe.

✓ For example, if I was sitting on the road, I would start painting the rocks or stones there with watercolors and colored pencils.

The sentence has repetition and awkward tense/modal use. Use 'would start' to express a habitual past action or simply 'I started' once. 'Mike watercolors' seems incorrect—use 'watercolors' and 'colored pencils' for clarity. Remove repetitions and unnecessary fillers.

× Yes. I love reading since I was child.

✓ Yes. I have loved reading since I was a child.

The phrase 'since I was a child' requires the present perfect tense to link past start to present continuation: 'have loved'. Also add the article 'a' before 'child'.

× And I used to used to read a lot about uh, mystery, crime, mysteries, a lot of these kind of things.

✓ And I used to read a lot about mystery and crime, many similar topics.

The phrase 'used to' should appear only once; repetition 'used to used to' is incorrect. Also 'mystery, crime, mysteries' is redundant—use clear parallel nouns. 'These kind of things' should be 'these kinds of things' or better 'similar topics.'

× We have a common interest in gardening because we belong to a farmer's family.

✓ We have a common interest in gardening because we belong to a farming family.

While 'farmer's family' is grammatical, 'belong to a farming family' or 'come from a farming family' is more natural. 'Belong to a farmer's family' is slightly odd; use 'farming family' for the attributive noun form.

× And whenever we got any issue in our family, we started doing, uh, many things in gardener like removing weeds or planting new plants.

✓ And whenever we had any problem in our family, we would do many gardening tasks like removing weeds or planting new plants.

'Got any issue' is informal and ungrammatical here; use 'had any problem'. To describe habitual past reactions use 'would' or simple past consistently: 'we would do' or 'we did'. 'Doing many things in gardener' is incorrect; use 'gardening tasks.' Also 'planting new plants' is repetitive but acceptable; 'planting new plants' is clear.