Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: ปรับประโยคให้เป็นธรรมชาติมากขึ้นโดยเริ่มด้วยประโยคหัวข้อที่ชัดเจน จากนั้นให้รายละเอียดสั้นๆ โดยใช้คำเชื่อมเล็กน้อยและคำศัพท์ที่เหมาะสม หลีกเลี่ยงคำซ้ำและการเติมคำที่ไม่จำเป็น เช่น “I mean”。 ฝึกพูดไม่เกิน 3–4 ประโยคและเน้นคำกริยาและคำนามแทนวลีที่ไม่ชัดเจน

예시: I have several hobbies. I enjoy listening to music and playing video games in my free time. I also like playing sports with friends on weekends, and sometimes I relax by daydreaming or taking a short nap.

제안: ปรับไวยากรณ์อดีตกาลให้ถูกต้องและเรียงลำดับความคิดให้ชัดเจน เริ่มด้วยประโยคหัวข้อในอดีตแล้วให้ตัวอย่างเฉพาะ ใช้คำเชื่อมเช่น “for example” หรือ “also” และหลีกเลี่ยงคำพูดติดขัดหรือขาดความสมบูรณ์ของประโยค

예시: Yes, I had several hobbies as a child. For example, I learned to ride a bicycle and I often played games with my brothers. I also liked following my mother around and helping her with small tasks.

제안: ทำให้ชัดเจนว่าฮอบบี้นั้นคืออะไรและเริ่มตั้งแต่หัวข้อแล้วอธิบายสาเหตุหรือแหล่งที่มาของความสนใจ ใช้โครงสร้างประโยคที่ถูกต้องและคำเชื่อมเช่น “because” หรือ “since” เพื่อเชื่อมเหตุผลกับประสบการณ์ในอดีต

예시: Yes, I have loved music since I was a child. I grew up listening to songs with my mother, so she influenced my taste. Because of that, I often spend time looking for new music that I enjoy.

제안: ตอบโดยตรงแล้วขยายด้วยรายละเอียดเฉพาะ เช่น อธิบายความเหมือนหรือความต่างในรสนิยม ใช้คำเชื่อม เช่น “however” หรือ “but” เพื่อเชื่อมความขัดแย้ง เลี่ยงคำคลุมเครือและคำติดขัด

예시: Yes, some of my hobbies are similar to my family’s. For example, we all enjoy listening to music, but we usually listen to different genres. However, we share songs and sometimes recommend music to each other.

× I usually have numerous hobbies in my daily basis, such as listening to music, playing games, playing sports with my friends, or even sleeping.

✓ I usually have numerous hobbies in my daily life, such as listening to music, playing games, playing sports with my friends, or even sleeping.

Use 'daily life' instead of 'daily basis'. 'On a daily basis' is correct but 'in my daily basis' is incorrect. Use the appropriate prepositional phrase: 'in my daily life' or 'on a daily basis'. Suggestion: say 'I usually have numerous hobbies in my daily life' or 'I usually have numerous hobbies on a daily basis.'

× I mean, daydreams, something like that.

✓ I mean, daydreaming, something like that.

Use the gerund 'daydreaming' to match the list of activities (listening, playing, sleeping). 'Daydreams' is a noun but does not fit the verb-like items. Suggestion: keep parallel gerunds: 'listening, playing, daydreaming.'

× Yes, I have a lot of hobbies when I was shy I want to training the bike, I want to play games with my brothers or even just look looking my mum for my mum.

✓ Yes, I had a lot of hobbies when I was a child. I wanted to ride a bike, play games with my brothers, or just look after my mum.

Multiple tense and form errors: 'have' should be past 'had' to match 'when I was a child'; 'shy' likely intended 'a child' or 'shy' is incorrect context; 'I want to training the bike' mixes present desire with past context and incorrect verb forms; use past 'wanted' and correct verb 'ride' for riding a bike; 'look looking my mum for my mum' is ungrammatical—likely 'look after my mum.' Suggestion: use consistent past tense and correct verb forms: 'I had... I wanted to ride a bike... look after my mum.'

× Do you have a hobby that you've had since childhood?

✓ Do you have a hobby that you've had since childhood?

The sentence is already correct. It uses present perfect 'you've had' appropriately to indicate an ongoing hobby from childhood. No change needed.

× Yeah, when the water shy I I love music so much and I spend time with the find music that I love and my mom, I think is confirm my mom too.

✓ Yes. When I was young, I loved music so much and I spent time finding music that I loved; my mom influenced me too.

Original sentence has word choice and structure problems: 'when the water shy' is unintelligible—likely 'when I was young'; tense should be past 'loved' and 'spent'; 'find music that I love' should be past 'finding music that I loved'; 'my mom, I think is confirm my mom too' is unclear—use 'my mom influenced me too.' Suggestion: use clear time phrase and consistent past tense: 'When I was young, I loved music and spent time finding music I loved; my mom influenced me.'

× My mom culture that she listening to and I just heard it from her.

✓ My mom has a musical culture that she listened to, and I just heard it from her.

Awkward phrasing: 'my mom culture that she listening to' is incorrect. Use 'my mom had a musical culture' or 'my mom listened to music from her culture.' Also adjust tense: past 'listened.' Suggestion: 'My mom listened to music from her culture, and I heard it from her.'

× Yes, I do. I have some hobbies that save my family. For the example, listening to music.

✓ Yes, I do. I have some hobbies that I share with my family. For example, listening to music.

'save my family' is incorrect word; likely intended 'share with my family.' 'For the example' should be 'for example.' Use correct pronoun/object and phrase: 'share with my family.'

× We umm, we usually don't do it together because we have, uh, different Shanghai of music that we like, but yeah, we share it.

✓ We usually don't do it together because we have different tastes in music, but yes, we share it.

'Different Shanghai of music' is incorrect—likely meant 'different tastes in music.' Use 'tastes in music' and remove filler. Suggestion: 'we have different tastes in music.'