Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and organize your answer: start with a clear topic sentence naming your main hobbies, then add one specific detail about each. Reduce filler words (ums) and avoid repetition. Use linking words to list activities (for example, “I enjoy riding motorcycles, going on tours, and camping”).

예시: I have several hobbies. I enjoy riding my motorcycle and going on long tours, which lets me explore new places, and I also like camping because it helps me relax and connect with nature. For camping I usually bring lightweight gear and a simple stove to make cooking easier.

제안: Answer directly and avoid hesitation. Begin with a clear topic sentence and give a brief specific example of what you read or watched as a child to make the response more vivid. Use linking words to connect ideas (e.g., “however” or “but”).

예시: When I was a child I didn’t have a formal hobby, but I loved reading books and watching films. For example, I often read adventure stories like The Chronicles of Narnia and watched animated movies at the weekend, which sparked my imagination.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence and add a specific reason or example to explain why you continued the hobby. Mention how your routine has changed (e.g., using a Kindle) and use a linking phrase to connect ideas (e.g., “because” or “so”).

예시: Yes — reading has stayed with me since childhood because I enjoy learning from stories and ideas. I still read regularly, and now I use a Kindle so I can carry many books on trips and highlight passages easily.

제안: Start with a direct statement and then give a specific contrast or example about family members to enrich the answer. Use linking words like “for example” or “in particular” to structure your response and avoid hedging words such as “I guess.”

예시: Yes, many of my family members enjoy reading and watching films. For example, my wife often reads novels for pleasure and business books to broaden her perspective, while my brother prefers documentaries and travel films.

× I have a lot of hobbies and one of them is riding a motorcycle, going on a going on touring and another one is going on camping and sometimes I enjoy camping with gearing.

✓ I have a lot of hobbies and one of them is riding a motorcycle, going on tours, and another is going camping; sometimes I enjoy camping with gear.

The original contains incorrect gerund forms and awkward repetitons ('going on a going on touring', 'going on camping', 'gearing'). Use consistent -ing forms (going on tours -> going on tours or going on a tour; going camping) and the noun 'gear' instead of 'gearing'. Also simplify the list structure for clarity.

× Let me think umm when I was a child I didn't have a hobby but one thing I loved is reading books and also watching movies.

✓ Let me think, umm, when I was a child I didn't have a hobby, but one thing I loved was reading books and watching movies.

The sentence mixes past ('I loved') with present ('is reading'). Maintain past tense consistency by using 'was reading' or better 'was reading' is awkward; 'loved was reading' is fixed by making the complement past: 'was reading' is unnecessary—use 'was' for the link verb and the gerunds remain acceptable after 'loved'. Also add commas for clarity.

× Yes, reading books and watching movies are the two best hobbies. I still enjoy reading books nowadays. I own a kindle so it's easier than paper.

✓ Yes, reading books and watching movies are my two favourite hobbies. I still enjoy reading books nowadays. I own a Kindle, so it's easier than reading on paper.

Minor issues: 'the two best hobbies' is unnatural—use 'my two favourite hobbies'. Capitalize the brand 'Kindle'. Compare 'easier than paper' is unclear; clarify 'easier than reading on paper'. Ensure consistent present tense usage.

× Yes, I guess watching movies and reading books are common among our family members.

✓ Yes, I guess watching movies and reading books are common among my family members.

Use 'my family members' rather than 'our' because the speaker refers to their own family; 'our' would imply the examiner is included. This is a pronoun choice issue affecting meaning.

× My wife enjoys reading novels and sometimes business books to broaden her perspective.

✓ My wife enjoys reading novels and sometimes business books to broaden her perspective.

This sentence is grammatically correct; no article change is needed. It is included here to indicate no correction required.