Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and remove fillers. Start with a clear topic sentence, use one or two supporting details with specific examples, and avoid repetition. Use linking words (for example, because, so) to connect ideas and correct collocations (e.g., "listen to music", "background instrumental music"). Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

예시: I enjoy listening to music in my free time. After a long day I often play romantic songs or background instrumental music because they help me relax and concentrate. For example, I usually listen to piano or acoustic playlists while I unwind or study.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence and add one specific detail or memory. Correct grammar (e.g., "I liked swimming", "swimming classes") and avoid repetition. Use a linking word (because or so) to explain why you liked it.

예시: Yes, I used to take swimming classes, so swimming was my main hobby as a child. I liked it because it kept me active and I enjoyed practicing different strokes during lessons. Because of that, I felt confident in the water and often joined local pool activities.

제안: Give a direct topic sentence and one or two specific details. Correct tense and phrasing (e.g., "my mom told me", "helped me sleep"). Use linking words (for example, because, so) to explain effect. Keep sentences concise and avoid fillers.

예시: Yes, reading has been a hobby since childhood. My mother told me to read at least one book before bed, and because of that habit I learned to focus and relaxed quickly, which helped me fall asleep. I still enjoy short novels and bedtime stories today.

제안: Answer directly and give one clear supporting detail about shared activities. Fix grammar ("we used to read together", "my parents told us stories"). Use linking words (for example, so, and) to make the response coherent and limit to 2–3 sentences.

예시: Yes, my family shared the hobby of reading when we were children. My brother and I often read together and our parents used to tell us bedtime stories, so reading became a family routine.

× Yeah, of course my hobbies when when I have a free time, I like to listen to the music because after a long day I'm feeling exhausted.

✓ Yeah, of course. In my free time, I like to listen to music because after a long day I feel exhausted.

Run-on and extra words: 'when when' is repeated and unnecessary; 'a free time' and 'the music' are incorrect article uses; 'I'm feeling exhausted' is a progressive form not needed for a general habit — use simple present 'I feel exhausted'. Suggestion: remove repetition, use 'in my free time', drop articles before uncountable 'music', and use simple present for habitual states.

× I like to listen to umm, romantic music or some of background interest mental because it's made me focus more and feel.

✓ I like to listen to romantic music or some instrumental background music because it helps me focus and relax.

Word choice and word order errors: 'some of background interest mental' is not grammatical; 'it's made me' incorrectly uses past participle; 'feel' is incomplete. Suggestion: use 'instrumental background music' for the intended meaning and 'helps me focus and relax' to express habitual effect with correct verb 'helps'. Use simple present for habitual effects.

× When I was a child, my parents used to send me to the swimming class, so I would say my hobby when I was a child was swimming.

✓ When I was a child, my parents used to send me to swimming classes, so I would say my hobby then was swimming.

Article and plural issues with 'the swimming class' — use 'swimming classes' for regular lessons. 'My hobby when I was a child was swimming' is wordy; 'then' clarifies time. Suggestion: use plural for recurring classes and keep past tense consistent.

× I like to swimming because it's like some kind of sport, sport what I like.

✓ I liked swimming because it is a type of sport that I enjoy.

Verb form: 'like to swimming' mixes infinitive and gerund incorrectly — should be 'like swimming' or 'like to swim'. Also tense consistency: speaking about childhood should use past 'liked'. Repetition 'sport, sport what I like' is ungrammatical. Suggestion: use 'liked swimming' and 'a type of sport that I enjoyed' or similar for clarity.

× I would say reading, my mom's say to me that when I was a child I have to read umm at least one book before bed because it's made me focus on myself and help me sleeping quickly.

✓ I would say reading. My mom used to tell me that when I was a child I had to read at least one book before bed because it helped me focus and fall asleep more quickly.

Tense and auxiliary errors: 'my mom's say to me' should be 'my mom used to tell me' for past habit. 'I have to read' should be 'I had to read' to match past. 'It's made me' is incorrect tense; use 'it helped me'. 'Help me sleeping' incorrect verb form; use 'help me fall asleep' or 'help me sleep'. Suggestion: maintain past tense consistently for past habits and use correct verb patterns.

× So I would say reading is my hobbies in my childhood.

✓ So I would say reading was my hobby in childhood.

Number agreement: 'is my hobbies' mixes singular/plural and present/past. Use singular 'hobby' to match 'reading' and past tense 'was' to match 'in childhood'. Suggestion: ensure subject and noun number match and tense aligns with the time reference.

× Yeah, my brother and I used to read a book when we was a child.

✓ Yeah, my brother and I used to read books when we were children.

Subject-verb agreement and number: 'we was' is incorrect; should be 'we were'. Also 'a book' implies singular event; for repeated activity use 'books'. 'When we were children' matches plural subjects. Suggestion: match verb form to plural subject and use plural nouns for habitual actions.

× We read a book together, my mom and my dad.

✓ We read books together with my mom and my dad.

Comma splice and ambiguity: original is a fragmented list. Use a prepositional phrase 'with my mom and my dad' and plural 'books' for repeated activity. Suggestion: join ideas into one clear sentence showing who participated.

× Umm, what used to tell us are some stories, like a storytelling before the before our bed.

✓ They used to tell us stories, like bedtime stories before we went to bed.

Incorrect word order and verb choice: 'what used to tell us are some stories' is ungrammatical; use 'They used to tell us stories'. 'a storytelling' is wrong; use 'bedtime stories'. 'before the before our bed' is redundant; use 'before we went to bed'. Suggestion: use clear subject 'they' for parents, correct noun 'bedtime stories', and past tense for past habits.