Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: ปรับประโยคให้เป็นธรรมชาติมากขึ้น แก้ไวยากรณ์ (เช่น tense และ article) ลดความซ้ำซ้อน และใช้ linking word สั้นๆ เพื่อความลื่นไหล เช่น ‘recently’ ไม่จำเป็นเมื่อพูดถึงความชอบทั่วไป และ ‘it’s makes’ ผิดไวยากรณ์ ให้ใช้รูป present simple/continuous ที่เหมาะสม นอกจากนี้ควรใช้รายละเอียดเจาะจงเพิ่ม 1-2 ข้อเพื่อแสดงเหตุผลหรือตัวอย่างที่ชัดเจน (เช่น เพลงแนวไหน เวลาไหน) แต่ไม่ยาวเกิน 3-4 ประโยค

예시: I enjoy several hobbies, but my favorite in my free time is listening to music because it reduces my stress and gives me energy. I usually listen to upbeat pop or acoustic songs in the evening after work. This helps me relax and stay motivated.

제안: ปรับไวยากรณ์และคำศัพท์เพื่อให้ความหมายชัดเจน เช่น ‘forest style a hobby’ ไม่ชัดเจน ไม่นิยมใช้ ‘allowed play’ และ tense ควรใช้ past simple เมื่อพูดถึงอดีต อีกทั้งควรจัดลำดับความคิด ใช้ linking word เช่น ‘for example’ หรือ ‘also’ และยกตัวอย่างเฉพาะเจาะจงเกี่ยวกับกิจกรรมที่ทำตอนเป็นเด็ก 1-2 อย่าง

예시: When I was a child I enjoyed outdoor activities. For example, I often played with my friends at the school playground and explored nearby woods. I also liked watching fantasy movies at my friend’s house during weekends.

제안: แก้โครงสร้างประโยคและไวยากรณ์ ใช้ present perfect หรือ present simple เพื่อแสดงความต่อเนื่อง (for example: ‘I have listened to music since I was a child’) หลีกเลี่ยงการซ้ำซ้อน เช่น ‘can makes’ ผิด และ ‘after my workload’ ควรใช้ ‘after work’ หรือ ‘during exams’ เพิ่มตัวอย่างเพลงหรือกิจวัตรที่ชัดเจนเพื่อความเฉพาะเจาะจง

예시: I have loved listening to music since I was a child. It makes me feel energetic and helps reduce stress, especially after a long day of work or during final exams. I usually listen to calming acoustic tracks to concentrate and unwind.

제안: ปรับ tense และคำศัพท์ให้ถูกต้อง (เช่น ‘shared’ → ‘share’), แก้วลีที่ไม่ชัดเจน (‘share most and emotional’, ‘please stop music’) และใช้ linking word เล็กน้อยเพื่อเชื่อมความคิด ระบุรายละเอียดว่าฟังเพลงประเภทไหนและทำกิจกรรมร่วมกันอย่างไรเพื่อเพิ่มความน่าเชื่อถือ

예시: Yes, I share the same hobby with my sister; we both enjoy listening to music. We often listen to the same songs, which helps us connect emotionally. For example, we like to play soft acoustic tracks together in the evening to relax and talk about our day.

× Well I have various hobbies recently but the hobby that I'd love to do in my leisure time is listening to music because it can reduce my stress and it's makes me more energetic.

✓ Well, I have had various hobbies recently, but the hobby that I love to do in my leisure time is listening to music because it can reduce my stress and it makes me more energetic.

The sentence uses inconsistent verb forms and unnecessary contraction 'it's makes'. Use present perfect 'have had' to indicate recent experiences and simple present 'love' and 'makes' for habitual facts. Remove erroneous 'it's'. Suggestion: keep tense consistent and use 'it makes' not 'it's makes'.

× Well, I have forest style a hobby.

✓ Well, I had a hobby related to a forest style.

Word order and choice are incorrect. 'Forest style a hobby' is not grammatical in English. Use a noun phrase like 'a hobby related to a forest style' or 'an interest in forest-style activities'. Suggestion: place the article before the noun and use a prepositional phrase to show relation.

× When I was a child, for instance, I allowed play with my companion at the playground in my school.

✓ When I was a child, for instance, I was allowed to play with my companions at the playground at my school.

After 'allowed' use the full infinitive 'to play' not the bare form. Also 'companion' plural is likely and use 'at my school' or 'in my school' consistently. Suggestion: use passive 'was allowed to play' or active 'my parents allowed me to play'.

× If I have more free time, I would spend time with my friend to watch the fantasy movie at my house.

✓ If I have more free time, I will spend time with my friend watching fantasy movies at my house.

The conditional type is mixed: use 'If I have' (real present) with 'will' for future. Also use 'watching' or 'to watch' consistently and plural 'fantasy movies' is more natural. Suggestion: use 'will' after a present-tense 'if' clause for a real possibility.

× Well I had a hobby since I was a child is listening to music.

✓ Well, a hobby I have had since I was a child is listening to music.

When describing something that began in the past and continues, use present perfect 'have had' not simple past 'had'. Also reorder to avoid clumsy structure. Suggestion: 'A hobby I have had since I was a child is listening to music.'

× I really love this hobby because it can makes me feel energetic and it can reduce my stress after my workload especially in during final exam.

✓ I really love this hobby because it makes me feel energetic and it can reduce my stress after a heavy workload, especially during final exams.

Remove incorrect 'can makes' (subject-verb agreement and modal misuse). Use 'makes' for habitual effect and 'a heavy workload' for clarity. 'In during' is redundant; use 'during final exams'. Suggestion: use correct verb forms and clear noun phrases.

× Do you have the same hobbies as your family members?

✓ Do you have the same hobbies as your family members?

This sentence is correct; no article error. Included here to indicate no change needed.

× Yes, I shared the same hobby with my sister.

✓ Yes, I share the same hobby with my sister.

Use present simple 'share' because this is a current, ongoing situation, not past 'shared'. Suggestion: use present tense for current facts.

× We both enjoy listening to music.

✓ We both enjoy listening to music.

This sentence is correct in present simple for a habitual action. No change needed.

× We often listen to the same songs because it helps us share most and emotional.

✓ We often listen to the same songs because it helps us share emotions and understand each other.

Phrase 'share most and emotional' is ungrammatical. Use 'share emotions' or 'share feelings' and add 'understand each other' to express mutual bonding. Suggestion: choose correct nouns and parallel structure.

× For example, we will feel relaxed when we please stop music or acoustic music together.

✓ For example, we feel relaxed when we listen to calm or acoustic music together.

The original 'please stop music' is incorrect and unclear. Use 'listen to calm or acoustic music' and prefer present simple 'we feel' for habitual responses. Suggestion: avoid literal translations and use natural English verbs like 'listen to'.