Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Reduce hesitations and organize the answer: start with a clear topic sentence, then give specific details (what you read, how often, why you enjoy it, a short example). Use correct tense and avoid irrelevant words. Keep it within 3–4 sentences and use linking words like because and for example.

예시: I enjoy reading in my free time. I mainly read short stories and comics because they are entertaining and easy to finish. For example, since I moved to Pakistan I have read about four or five books, and I usually read for thirty minutes every evening.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence and then add concise supporting details: who you played with, what you did, and why you liked it. Remove filler words and correct simple grammar (past tense for childhood). Use linking words like because and when.

예시: Yes, when I was a child I liked playing with dolls. I often played with my friend Panna, who would sing while we pretended to take care of the dolls. I enjoyed it because it helped me relax and use my imagination.

제안: State the hobby clearly and provide specific supporting details: who you play with, how often, and what skills it developed. Use past and present tenses correctly and link ideas with words like so and which helped.

예시: Yes, I have played Ludo since childhood. I usually play it with friends and family during leisure time, and it relaxes me. Playing Ludo also helped me develop strategic thinking and patience because I had to plan moves and wait for my turns.

제안: Answer directly, then give a specific comparison and an example. Use correct grammar for possessives and plurality, and avoid repetition. Use linking words such as however or for example.

예시: No, my hobbies are different from my family members'. For example, I enjoy reading books, while my mother likes cooking a variety of dishes. However, we sometimes share hobbies when we cook together on weekends.

× Yes, I have my own hobby.

✓ Yes, I have a hobby.

'My own hobby' is not incorrect grammatically but 'a hobby' is more natural here; no plural/singular mismatch. Prefer concise form to sound natural.

× It is umm reading a book umm, about uh different lobby stories or a comic.

✓ It is reading books about different love stories or comics.

Use plural 'books' and 'comics' to match 'different' (plural). 'Lobby' seems a mispronunciation for 'love'; corrected to 'love'. Present participle 'reading' is fine as a noun phrase after 'is' but nouns should be plural when referring to varieties.

× I am fond of it from since my blush to uh finished uh in Pakistan I had read around four or five books.

✓ I have been fond of it since my childhood. When I finished school in Pakistan, I had read around four or five books.

Multiple tense and word choice errors: 'from since' is redundant; use 'since'. 'My blush' is incorrect for 'my childhood'. 'Finished' needs a clear object (school). Use present perfect 'have been fond' to describe a state from past to present; past perfect 'had read' can be kept if referring to a time before another past event, but simple past 'read' or present perfect 'have read' is often better. Sentence split for clarity.

× Yes, I have a different hobbies when I was a child the one of that was umm playing umm playing a doll umm with my friend name called Panna.

✓ Yes, I had different hobbies when I was a child. One of them was playing with a doll with my friend named Panna.

'Have' should be past 'had' to match 'when I was a child' (past time). 'A different hobbies' is plural so use 'different hobbies' without 'a'. 'The one of that' is incorrect; use 'one of them'. 'Playing a doll' should be 'playing with a doll'. Use 'named Panna' for the friend's name.

× She was uh she is you know she sings with my young.

✓ She used to sing with me when we were young.

Pronoun and tense issues: mix of 'was' and 'is' is confusing. Use 'used to' for habitual past actions. 'With my young' is incorrect; use 'with me when we were young'.

× I feel relaxed with playing hard with my doll which was gifted.

✓ I felt relaxed playing with my doll that was a gift.

Tense should be past 'felt' to match childhood. 'Playing hard with my doll' is unclear; likely 'playing with my doll'. Use 'that was a gift' or 'which was a gift' to describe the doll.

× Yes, I have a hobby that I had since childhood and that is umm playing umm Lulu umm I found out for playing Ludo with my friends family in a leisure time and I felt relaxed and uh.

✓ Yes, I have had a hobby since childhood, and that is playing Ludo. I learned to play Ludo with my friends and family in my free time, and it made me feel relaxed.

Use present perfect 'have had' to express a hobby continuing from childhood. 'Playing Lulu' corrected to 'playing Ludo'. 'Found out for playing' is incorrect; use 'learned to play' or 'played with'. 'Leisure time' better as 'free time'. Maintain consistent tenses.

× It also helped me to umm develop my mindset umm by playing it and time is spent.

✓ It also helped me develop my thinking by playing it and spending time on it.

Pronoun and verb form issues: 'develop my mindset' can be 'develop my thinking'. 'Time is spent' is passive and awkward; use active gerund 'spending time on it'.

× No, I don't have the same hobbies as my family member as I already said that hobbies are different from a individual.

✓ No, I don't have the same hobbies as my family members, as I already said that hobbies are different for each individual.

'Family member' should be plural 'family members' when comparing to multiple family people. 'From a individual' incorrect article; use 'for each individual'.

× For example, I have a hobby of reading a book now and my mother had a hobby of umm making a varieties of dishes for our.

✓ For example, my hobby now is reading books, and my mother enjoys making a variety of dishes for us.

Maintain present tense 'my hobby now is'. Use plural 'books' or 'reading' as a general activity. 'Had a hobby' should be 'enjoys' if she currently does it. 'A varieties' incorrect; use 'a variety of dishes'. 'For our' should be 'for us'.