Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two brief supporting details. Correct grammar (e.g., “I don’t have any hobbies at the moment” and “I’d like to explore new activities to find the right hobby”). Avoid repetition and keep to under five sentences.

예시: I don't have any hobbies at the moment because I'm focusing on my final exams. However, I enjoy exploring new activities such as photography or hiking in my free time, and I hope to choose a regular hobby after my exams are over.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence and use past tense consistently. Reduce hesitations and filler words. Provide one or two specific examples and a reason. Use linking words (for example, because) to make it coherent.

예시: Yes, I had several hobbies as a child and I was very active. For example, I loved drawing and painting because my mother also enjoyed art and encouraged me to practice regularly.

제안: Answer directly with a topic sentence, use correct tense and grammar, and avoid vague phrases like “off the top of my head.” Give a specific detail about the hobby and a short supporting reason or example. Keep it within three to four sentences.

예시: Yes, drawing has been my main hobby since childhood. I became especially interested in painting and learned techniques by copying pictures and practicing every week, which helped me improve quickly.

제안: Start with a clear statement and use correct prepositions (e.g., “As far as I am concerned”). Give a brief contrast and a specific example. Avoid awkward phrasing like “we still care” — instead say “we still enjoy it” or “we still practice it.”

예시: As far as I am concerned, family members usually have different hobbies, but my little sister and I share the same interest in drawing. We both started when we were children and still enjoy sketching and painting together on weekends.

× Well, nowadays I don't have any hobbies but I only focus on my education and my final exams.

✓ Well, nowadays I don't have any hobbies; I am only focusing on my education and my final exams.

The student used simple present 'focus' to describe a current ongoing situation. In English, for a temporary current action, the present continuous 'am focusing' is more natural. Also use a semicolon or conjunction to connect related clauses. Suggestion: use present continuous for ongoing temporary activities and improve sentence linking.

× But in my heart I also like explore new things to explore, new activities to do and define mine exact hobby.

✓ But deep down I also like exploring new things and activities to discover my exact hobby.

The verb 'like' should be followed by a gerund ('exploring') not the base form. 'To explore, new activities to do' is redundant; replace with 'exploring new things and activities'. 'Define mine exact hobby' has wrong pronoun and word order: use 'discover my exact hobby'. Suggestion: after 'like' use -ing forms and correct pronoun and word order.

× Yeah, I did in my childhood, I was so active person.

✓ Yes, I did in my childhood; I was a very active person.

The phrase needed an article 'a' before 'very active person' and 'so' is informal; 'very' is more appropriate. Also replace comma with semicolon or split into two sentences. Suggestion: include the indefinite article and use proper punctuation.

× I have several, uh, hobbies that I can, uh, do it either way each day.

✓ I had several hobbies that I could do in different ways each day.

Tense should match 'in my childhood' (past). The clause 'that I can do it either way' is ungrammatical: remove redundant 'it' and change modal to past 'could'. 'Either way' is vague; 'in different ways' is clearer. Suggestion: keep consistent past tense and avoid redundant pronouns.

× Uh, for example, it was drawing.

✓ For example, one of them was drawing.

'It was drawing' is vague and uses 'it' incorrectly. Use 'one of them' or 'drawing was one of them' to refer back to 'hobbies'. Suggestion: use a clear noun phrase to refer to prior plural 'hobbies'.

× I always, uh, good at drawing because I too, I inherit this habit from my mom.

✓ I have always been good at drawing because I inherited this habit from my mom.

'Always good' lacks a verb; use present perfect 'have always been' to express a longstanding ability. 'Inherit' should be past 'inherited' because the inheritance happened in the past or is a completed action. Remove redundant 'I too, I'. Suggestion: use 'have been' for ongoing states and past tense for completed events.

× Yeah I do, I have had several uh hobbies but off the top of my head I would rather choose drawing because I always good at drawing since my childhood and the especially it comes to painting, I can learn it by heart.

✓ Yes, I have had several hobbies, but off the top of my head I would choose drawing because I have always been good at it since my childhood, and especially when it comes to painting, I can learn it by heart.

Use present perfect 'have had' is acceptable, but 'I always good' needs 'have always been'. 'The especially it comes to painting' is ungrammatical; use 'especially when it comes to painting'. 'Learn it by heart' is idiomatic but needs correct clause structure. Suggestion: use proper auxiliary verbs, correct conjunctions, and smoother clause connectors.

× As far as I concerned that we have different types of taste of hobbies.

✓ As far as I am concerned, we have different tastes in hobbies.

'As far as I concerned' misses 'am'. 'Different types of taste of hobbies' is awkward: use 'different tastes in hobbies'. Suggestion: include the verb in the phrase and use the preposition 'in' with 'tastes'.

× For example, me and my little sister have exactly same hobbies.

✓ For example, my little sister and I have exactly the same hobbies.

Use subject pronoun order 'my sister and I' and 'me' is incorrect as subject. Include 'the' before 'same hobbies'. Suggestion: use 'I' for subjects and include articles where needed.

× It's actually drawing.

✓ It's actually drawing.

This short sentence is acceptable, but in this context 'It's actually drawing' is okay as identification of the hobby. No change needed.

× We are too good at drawing since our childhood and we still care.

✓ We have been very good at drawing since our childhood, and we still enjoy it.

Use present perfect 'have been' with 'since' to indicate a continuous state from past to present. 'Too good' is incorrect here; use 'very good' or simply 'good'. 'We still care' is unnatural for hobbies; use 'we still enjoy it'. Suggestion: use present perfect with 'since' and choose appropriate verbs for continuing interest.