Shoes— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 回答の主旨は伝わりますが、「どのくらいの頻度で買うか」という質問に直接答えていません。また、“I won't buy those kinds of shoes” は意味が不自然で、“I belong to Badminon Club” は “I belong to a badminton club” と言います。最後の文は “I need a pair of badminton shoes for it” のように表現しましょう。最初に頻度を述べ、その後に理由や具体例を加えると、より自然で効果的です。

예시: Yes, I do, although I only buy them once or twice a year. I mainly buy shoes for specific activities rather than for fashion. For example, I belong to a university badminton club, so I recently bought a pair of badminton shoes with good grip and support.

제안: オンラインで購入した経験と利点は説明できていますが、“a week ago a few weeks ago” のように時期が重複しており、文の後半も長くつながりすぎています。“One thing I’m afraid of is that there are many counterfeit products online” のように、不安の内容を明確にしましょう。“because” の後は理由を一つずつ整理し、Additionally や However などの接続語を使うと論理性が高まります。

예시: Yes, I have. I bought a pair of running shoes online a few weeks ago. It was more convenient than shopping in a store because I could compare prices and check different sizes quickly. However, I was slightly worried about receiving a counterfeit product, so I bought them from a reliable website.

제안: 金額は具体的に答えられていますが、“I'm not usually very fashionable person” には冠詞が必要で、“drawable paints” は靴に合わない表現です。“comfortable and durable pairs” または “comfortable shoes” を使いましょう。また、“splodge” ではなく “splurge” が正しく、“a designer or lesser shoes” は “designer or leather shoes” など、意図に合った語を使う必要があります。通常の支出と例外的な支出を明確に対比するとよいでしょう。

예시: I usually spend around 5,000 yen on a pair of shoes because I’m not particularly fashion-conscious. I prefer comfortable and durable shoes for everyday use. However, I sometimes splurge on a more expensive pair, such as designer or leather shoes, when I need them for a special occasion.

제안: 好みを直接答え、理由と具体例も示せている点は良いです。ただし、最後の文が未完成で、“when I was born to Balington Club” は “when I joined the badminton club” とする必要があります。また、support が繰り返されているため、最後は “I realized how important durable shoes are” のように言い換えましょう。文を最後まで完成させ、最大3〜4文でまとめると、より自然で効果的です。

예시: I prefer comfortable shoes because I walk a lot and need good support. When I commute or exercise, I choose cushioned shoes that are suitable for long periods of walking. In addition, after joining my university badminton club, I realized how important durable shoes are for preventing injuries.

× I like buying shoes mainly because I won't buy those kinds of shoes for my everyday life.

✓ I like buying shoes mainly because I don't buy those kinds of shoes for everyday use.

The sentence describes a usual habit, so the present simple don't buy is more appropriate than the future form won't buy. Use the present simple when talking about regular habits or general situations.

× I belong to Badminon Club as a university's club activity.

✓ I belong to a badminton club as part of a university club activity.

The phrase as part of is the natural prepositional expression for describing participation in an activity. Also, a is needed before the singular countable noun club.

× I belong to Badminon Club as a university's club activity.

✓ I belong to a badminton club as part of a university club activity.

A singular countable noun such as club normally needs an article when it is mentioned generally. Use a before badminton club and university club activity.

× I have to Badminton's shoes.

✓ I have to buy badminton shoes.

The structure have to must be followed by a base-form verb. The original sentence is missing the main verb buy. Use have to + verb to express necessity.

× Yes, I actually bought shoes online a week ago a few weeks ago.

✓ Yes, I actually bought shoes online a few weeks ago.

The sentence contains two conflicting time expressions. Use only one time expression so that the sentence has a clear and logical structure.

× And one thing I afraid is there many stuff on Alien.

✓ One thing I am afraid of is that there is a lot of stuff online.

The adjective afraid is followed by the preposition of when it is followed by the thing that causes fear. The natural pattern is be afraid of something.

× And one thing I afraid is there many stuff on Alien.

✓ One thing I am afraid of is that there is a lot of stuff online.

Use there is with an uncountable noun such as stuff. The original form there many stuff is missing the verb is and does not follow the there-be structure.

× And one thing I afraid is there many stuff on Alien.

✓ One thing I am afraid of is that there is a lot of stuff online.

Stuff is an uncountable noun, so it cannot normally be used with many. Use a lot of stuff or much stuff instead. A lot of is more natural in this context.

× I'm not usually very fashionable person, so I usually spend about five thousand yen on shoes.

✓ I'm not usually a very fashionable person, so I usually spend about five thousand yen on shoes.

Person is a singular countable noun, so it needs an article. Use a before very fashionable person when describing someone in general.

× However, sometimes I splodge on a nice pair, for example, a designer or lesser shoes, so I need it for a special occasion.

✓ However, sometimes I splurge on a nice pair, such as designer shoes, so I need them for special occasions.

Shoes is plural, so it should be referred to with them rather than it. Use plural pronouns when the noun being referred to is plural. The word splurge is also the appropriate verb for spending a lot of money, although the original spelling is not a grammar error.

× However, sometimes I splodge on a nice pair, for example, a designer or lesser shoes, so I need it for a special occasion.

✓ However, sometimes I splurge on a nice pair, such as designer shoes, so I need them for special occasions.

The original phrase combines the singular article a with the plural noun shoes. Do not use a directly before a plural noun. You can say a pair of designer shoes or simply designer shoes.

× Additionally, when I was born to Balington Club, I learned how important durability and support

✓ Additionally, when I joined the badminton club, I learned how important durability and support are.

Born to does not express participation in a club. Use joined when describing becoming a member of a club. The preposition and verb combination must match the intended meaning.

× I learned how important durability and support

✓ I learned how important durability and support are.

The clause how important durability and support is incomplete because it does not contain a verb after the subject. Add are to complete the noun clause.

× I learned how important durability and support

✓ I learned how important durability and support are.

Durability and support form a compound subject joined by and, so the plural verb are is required. Use are when two subjects are connected by and.