Shoes— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and organize your response: give a clear topic sentence answering both parts, then add one or two specific supporting details with linking words. Reduce hesitation and repetition (e.g., avoid repeating “see”). Also give a clear frequency phrase (e.g., “every two to three months”) and explain the reason briefly.

예시: Yes—I enjoy buying shoes, both online and in stores. I usually buy new shoes every two to three months because I wear them often and like to replace worn pairs. For online purchases I appreciate the wider selection, but I visit shops to check colors and fit in person.

제안: Start with a direct answer, then explain reasons using linking words and specific details. Correct grammar (e.g., “I bought shoes online” not “in online”), reduce repetition, and give one example of when you would buy online versus in-store.

예시: Yes, I have bought shoes online, but I prefer shopping in stores because I can try them on and check the color and fit. However, I’ll buy online if a style I want is only available there or if there’s a good discount.

제안: Give a clear numeric range and a brief, well-structured explanation. Avoid filler words and correct grammar (e.g., “when I’m working I prefer more expensive, comfortable shoes”). Use linking words to contrast situations (e.g., “whereas” or “but”).

예시: I usually spend between $100 and $200 on shoes. When I need shoes for work I invest in more expensive, comfortable pairs, whereas for casual use I buy cheaper ones, often around $50–$100.

제안: State your preference clearly and support it with two concise, specific reasons using linking words. Remove filler sounds like “umm” and unnecessary “etcetera.” You can add a short example to make it more vivid.

예시: I prefer comfortable shoes because they support me at work and when I walk long distances. For example, I choose cushioned trainers for commuting and for dancing I pick shoes with good support rather than high-fashion heels.

× Yes I do. I like buying shoes online and I like to go to the store as well to see and see the colors and everything. And how often Uh, I usually go to every two months, three months or depends how usually I wear them.

✓ Yes, I do. I like buying shoes online, and I also like going to the store to see the colors and details. As for how often, I usually go every two or three months, depending on how often I wear them.

Pronoun and verb form issues and sentence structure: 'I like to go to the store as well to see and see the colors and everything' is repetitive and awkward; use 'going' to match 'buying' (parallel gerund structure). 'Depends how usually I wear them' is incorrect word order and missing preposition: change to 'depending on how often I wear them.' Also add commas for clarity and use 'every two or three months' for a natural expression.

× Yes I did. I bought the shoes in online but I don't like much because I prefer to go to the store in feet and see the colors. So yeah, I usually like to see shoes online but not buying that.

✓ Yes, I did. I bought shoes online before, but I don't like it much because I prefer to go to the store to try them on and see the colors. So, I usually look at shoes online but don't buy them there.

Incorrect past tense usage and prepositions: 'I bought the shoes in online' should be 'I bought shoes online' (no 'in', and plural article not required). 'Go to the store in feet' is wrong; correct is 'to try them on' or 'to see how they fit' (use a verb phrase, not 'in feet'). 'Not buying that' is ungrammatical; use 'don't buy them there.' Maintain past simple 'I bought' and present preferences consistently.

× Well, sorry I usually spend around 100 to 200 it depends because when I when I working I prefer you wear the shoes expensive one like very comfortable and then if is it for casual I just bought it like 100 or less than.

✓ Well, I usually spend around 100 to 200, but it depends. When I'm working, I prefer to wear more expensive, very comfortable shoes, and if they are for casual use I buy them for about 100 or less.

Multiple sentence structure and tense problems: 'when I when I working' should be 'when I'm working' (correct present continuous). 'I prefer you wear the shoes expensive one' is incorrect pronoun and word order; correct is 'I prefer to wear more expensive, very comfortable shoes.' 'If is it for casual I just bought it like 100 or less than' mixes tenses and uses wrong forms; change to present 'if they are for casual use I buy them for about 100 or less.' Use consistent tense and correct word order.

× I prefer comfortable shoes because it's much better at work, it's much better for walking, umm, for dancing or to the gym, etcetera. So yeah, I prefer comfortable shoes.

✓ I prefer comfortable shoes because they are much better for work, walking, dancing, or going to the gym. So yes, I prefer comfortable shoes.

Pronoun and adjective agreement: 'it's much better' refers to 'comfortable shoes' (plural), so use 'they are much better.' Preposition use: 'for dancing or to the gym' should be parallel: 'dancing or going to the gym.' Maintain parallel structure and correct plural agreement.