Shoes— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and directly answer the question with a clear frequency statement, correct grammar, and relevant details. Use a topic sentence (e.g., how often), then one or two supporting details with linking words. Avoid irrelevant words like “suits” when you mean shoes.

예시: I usually buy shoes every six to twelve months. I do this because I like to try new designs and check the quality and materials. For example, when a new style appears I often replace my old pair to stay comfortable and up-to-date.

제안: Start with a direct yes/no and give two clear reasons using linking words. Correct phrasing (e.g., “buy shoes online”, “it makes me comfortable”) and avoid fillers like “uh.” Provide a specific example with time and details about the purchase.

예시: Yes, I have bought shoes online. I find it convenient because I don’t need to haggle and it saves time, and I can read reviews before buying. For example, a few months ago I ordered a pair from Dora’s Company and the fit and quality matched the description.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence stating the typical price range, then explain the reason briefly. Fix grammar (e.g., ‘the most expensive shoes I have worn cost around…’, ‘I usually buy shoes for…’) and use relevant vocabulary (e.g., branded shoes). Avoid unnecessary words.

예시: I usually spend between 2,000 and 3,000 on shoes. The most expensive pair I’ve owned cost about 5,000, but as a student I prefer cheaper or non-branded shoes to save money.

제안: Answer directly and give two specific reasons with linking words. Correct phrasing and word choice (use ‘hurt’ or ‘blisters’ instead of ‘painting’, and ‘shoes’ not ‘suits’). Keep it to 2–3 sentences and include a clear example of a situation.

예시: I prefer comfortable shoes rather than fashionable ones because they prevent pain and blisters during long walks. For instance, when I travel or commute I wear cushioned sneakers so my feet stay comfortable all day and I can enjoy the trip.

× As I prefer to buy shoes often 6 to 12 months because when the new design came, I want to buy it and experience the quality and the material used in the suits which makes me comfortable to wear.

✓ I prefer to buy shoes every 6 to 12 months because when a new design comes, I want to buy it and experience the quality and the materials used in the shoes, which make me comfortable to wear.

Errors: present tense usage and time expression. Use simple present 'prefer' and 'comes' for habitual actions; 'every 6 to 12 months' is the correct time expression; 'material' should be plural 'materials' when referring to multiple components; 'suits' is incorrect word choice for shoes—use 'shoes'; subject-verb agreement 'materials ... make' (plural) not 'makes'. Suggestion: use consistent present simple for habits and correct nouns/plural forms.

× I'm quite interested in buying shoes from online because it feels me comfortable and I do not have to bargain for the shoes.

✓ I'm quite interested in buying shoes online because it makes me feel comfortable and I do not have to bargain for the shoes.

Errors: incorrect word order and verb choice. 'from online' is unnatural—use 'online'. 'feels me comfortable' is incorrect; correct structure is 'makes me feel comfortable'. Modal usage 'do not have to' is fine. Suggestion: use correct causative structure 'makes me feel' and correct adverb placement.

× For instance, some month ago I ordered the shoes from Dora's company and I like it very much.

✓ For instance, some months ago I ordered shoes from Dora's company and I liked them very much.

Errors: time expression and tense mismatch. Use 'some months ago' or 'a few months ago' for past time; past simple 'ordered' requires 'liked' to match past context. 'the shoes' can be 'shoes' and pronoun must agree in number: 'them' not 'it'. Suggestion: keep past events consistently in past tense and match pronouns to plural nouns.

× The expensive shoes I had wear is around 5000, but usually I bought shoes under 2000 to 3000 because I'm student and I do not have enough money to spend on branded suits.

✓ The most expensive shoes I have worn cost around 5000, but usually I buy shoes for 2000 to 3000 because I'm a student and I do not have enough money to spend on branded shoes.

Errors: article and tense errors and word choice. 'The expensive shoes I had wear' is ungrammatical; use 'The most expensive shoes I have worn' (present perfect for life experience). 'is around 5000' should be 'cost around 5000' (price verb). 'usually I bought' should be present 'usually I buy' for habitual action. Missing article before 'student' -> 'a student'. 'branded suits' should be 'branded shoes'. Suggestion: use appropriate tense for experience vs habitual actions, include articles, and use correct nouns.

× I prefer comfortable shoes because they make it easier for me to long walk long hours without pain.

✓ I prefer comfortable shoes because they make it easier for me to walk for long hours without pain.

Errors: word order and incorrect verb/adverb usage. 'to long walk long hours' is incorrect; correct is 'to walk for long hours' or 'to walk long distances for long periods'. Suggestion: use 'walk' as verb and place 'for long hours' after it.

× For example, when I travel or commute, comfortable shoes allowed me to my feet all day and enjoy the trip.

✓ For example, when I travel or commute, comfortable shoes allow me to be on my feet all day and enjoy the trip.

Errors: tense and missing verb phrase. 'allowed me to my feet' is ungrammatical; use present simple 'allow' for habitual truth and correct phrase 'allow me to be on my feet all day'. 'allowed' was past but context is general habit so use present. Suggestion: use 'allow me to be on my feet' for correct idiom and present tense for habitual situations.

× I do not have to worry about painting of my foot, so I prefer comfortable suits.

✓ I do not have to worry about blisters on my feet, so I prefer comfortable shoes.

Errors: wrong noun choices and number. 'painting of my foot' is incorrect—likely meant 'blisters on my feet'; 'foot' should be plural 'feet' when talking generally; 'suits' wrong word—use 'shoes'. Suggestion: use correct medical/idiomatic term 'blisters' and plural 'feet', and the correct item 'shoes'.