Shoes— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be concise and directly answer the question with a clear topic sentence. Keep to 2–4 sentences, correct grammar (tenses and articles), and avoid repetition. Add one or two specific details (types of shoes, frequency) and use linking words to improve coherence.

예시: Yes, I enjoy buying shoes, but not as often now. Since I started working, I buy new shoes only once or twice a year for work or special occasions. When I was at university I bought joggers and trainers every few months because I walked long distances across campus.

제안: Give a complete, grammatically correct answer and finish your story. Reduce fillers (uh, um) and use linking words (however, but) to connect ideas. Provide a specific problem and a brief result or lesson learned.

예시: Yes, I bought shoes online once, but the experience was disappointing. Although the pictures on the website looked great, the shoes that arrived were a different color and poor quality. As a result, I returned them and now I check reviews and return policies before buying online.

제안: Start with a clear statement about your usual spending, use correct currency/units, and give a short explanation or example. Avoid unclear phrases and nonstandard expressions. Use linking words (however, but) to show contrast between situations.

예시: I usually spend only a little on shoes, about 20–40 dollars for casual pairs. However, if I go shopping with my father, I sometimes buy more expensive shoes costing around 80–150 dollars for formal or branded pairs.

제안: Answer directly with a topic sentence and one or two specific supporting details. Fix grammar and remove repetition. Use linking words (for example, therefore) to explain the reason clearly and finish the thought.

예시: I prefer comfortable shoes. For example, in university I bought a fashionable pair that looked good but caused a lot of pain, so now I choose shoes with good support and cushioning for daily wear.

× I usually like buying shoes but nowadays I am in professional life so I don't wear shoes but when I was in my university life I like to wear joggers or shoes because in the university you know, long distance departments are very far to each other so I.

✓ I usually like buying shoes, but nowadays I am working so I don't wear them often. When I was at university, I liked to wear joggers or shoes because the departments were far apart from each other.

The original sentence mixes tenses and uses awkward expressions. 'I am in professional life' is unnatural; use 'I am working'. 'I like to wear' should be past tense 'I liked to wear' to match 'when I was at university'. Use plural pronoun 'them' for shoes. Also correct word order: 'far apart from each other'. Keep tenses consistent: present for current habit, past for past habit.

× Uh, yes, I bought shoes online once a time, but my experience was too much bad because I ordered uh, shoes from duras.com and uh, it was very nice in the picture that uh, they showed me, but when, uh, it delivered to my house, it.

✓ Yes, I bought shoes online once, but my experience was very bad because I ordered shoes from duras.com. They looked nice in the pictures, but when they were delivered to my house, they did not match the pictures.

Use 'once' not 'once a time'. 'Too much bad' is incorrect; use 'very bad'. 'It was very nice in the picture that they showed me' should be 'They looked nice in the pictures'. Use passive 'were delivered' and clarify the outcome 'did not match the pictures'. Ensure past tense consistency.

× If money is mine I spend a little money but when I go with my father to for buying shoes so I purchase expensive shoes like 8000 or 15,000 arrangements.

✓ If I have my own money, I spend a little, but when I go with my father to buy shoes, I purchase expensive pairs that cost around 8,000 or 15,000.

'If money is mine' should be 'If I have my own money'. Remove extra preposition 'to for'; use 'to buy shoes'. 'A little money' can be shortened to 'a little'. 'Arrangements' is wrong; use 'pairs' or 'cost around' to indicate price. Keep word order natural.

× I generally prefer comfortable shoes because when I was in the university I once I bought a shoes fashionable shoes, but it it is very it caused very pain in my feet.

✓ I generally prefer comfortable shoes because when I was at university, I once bought a pair of fashionable shoes, but they caused a lot of pain in my feet.

Do not use 'the' before 'university' in this general sense; use 'at university' or 'at the university' depending on context. 'I bought a shoes fashionable shoes' is ungrammatical; use 'a pair of fashionable shoes'. Replace 'it it is very it caused very pain' with 'they caused a lot of pain'. Match plural/singular and pronouns.

× So after that experience I prefer comfortable shoes. So I because it. Gives a.

✓ After that experience, I have preferred comfortable shoes because they are more comfortable and do not hurt my feet.

Original sentences are fragmented and repetitive. Combine into a single coherent sentence: use present perfect or present simple for a lasting preference ('I prefer' or 'I have preferred'). Explain reason clearly: 'because they are more comfortable and do not hurt my feet'. Avoid sentence fragments like 'So I because it. Gives a.'