Shoes— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be direct and clear: start with a simple topic sentence answering the question, then add one or two concise supporting details. Avoid repetition and filler words. Use correct grammar (e.g., 'I buy shoes' not 'I sell them buying shoes'; 'once a semester' or 'twice a year').

예시: Yes, I like buying shoes. I usually buy them once a semester, so about twice a year, because I prefer to invest in comfortable pairs that last. For example, I bought a sturdy pair at the start of this semester that I wear most days.

제안: Answer directly, then give a clear, specific detail about the experience. Avoid awkward phrasing like 'I have ever' and unnecessary words. Mention when, why, and the result using linking words (for example, 'I bought... because... and fortunately...').

예시: Yes, I have bought shoes online, for example a pair of Converse last year because it was on sale. Fortunately the size fit well and the shoes arrived in good condition, so I was satisfied with the purchase.

제안: Be precise and use natural phrasing. State a typical price or range, then mention discounts as a secondary point using linking words like 'but' or 'however'. Clarify currency and avoid repeating phrases. Provide an example to illustrate.

예시: I usually spend about 1,000,000 rupiah on a pair of shoes, although I sometimes pay less during sales. For example, I bought a pair last year for 700,000 rupiah during a back-to-school promotion.

제안: Start with a clear statement of preference, then give specific reasons and an example. Use correct grammar ('I prefer comfortable shoes', 'they fit my feet') and link ideas with 'because' or 'so'. Avoid unnecessary closing words like 'Thank you'.

예시: I prefer comfortable shoes because I value how they feel when I walk or study all day. For example, I usually choose shoes with good cushioning and arch support rather than the latest fashion styles, since comfort helps me stay focused.

× every time I buy a shoes it is every once in the semester.

✓ every time I buy shoes it is once every semester.

Use plural 'shoes' without an article after 'buy' and correct word order: 'once every semester' is the natural expression. 'A shoes' is incorrect because 'shoes' is plural; use 'a pair of shoes' for singular meaning.

× So basically in one year I only bought 2 shoes for.

✓ So basically in one year I only buy two pairs of shoes.

Use present tense to match habitual action and 'pairs of shoes' for counting shoes. 'Bought' conflicts with earlier present habitual description; use 'buy' or 'I only bought two pairs last year' if past is intended.

× Yeah, I have ever bought shoes online.

✓ Yes, I have bought shoes online before.

Do not use 'ever' with simple present perfect in affirmative statements; 'before' or 'ever' is used in questions or negatives. Use 'have bought' (present perfect) with 'before' to indicate experience.

× It is from Converse.

✓ They were from Converse.

Clarify the subject: 'shoes' is plural, so use 'they' and past tense 'were' if referring to a past purchase. 'It is' is ungrammatical here.

× also it became one of my experience playing shoes online.

✓ Also, it became one of my experiences buying shoes online.

Use 'experiences' plural and correct verb 'buying' not 'playing'. 'Becoming one of my experiences' is awkward but acceptable; better: 'It was one of my experiences buying shoes online.'

× But luckily this size is perfectly fine and all of them all in the good condition.

✓ Luckily the size was perfect and all of them were in good condition.

Match number and tense: 'size' singular, 'was'. 'All of them' with plural verb 'were'. Omit extra 'all' and 'the' before 'good condition.'

× Usually I spend money on shoes around at least 1,000,000 for each pair,

✓ Usually I spend at least 1,000,000 on each pair of shoes,

Correct word order: 'spend at least [amount] on each pair of shoes.' Remove unnecessary 'around' if using 'at least.' Also place 'on' before 'each pair.'

× but sometimes there are some discounts over especially in the back to school season of course.

✓ but sometimes there are discounts, especially during the back-to-school season.

Use 'during' for seasons/events and remove redundant 'over' and 'some.' 'Back-to-school' is hyphenated as a compound adjective.

× So I think we can more saving money from that overs of course.

✓ So I think we can save more money from those sales, of course.

Use infinitive 'save' after 'can', correct comparative order 'save more money', and replace vague 'overs' with 'sales' or 'discounts'. Use 'those' for plural reference.

× According to me, I prefer a comfortable shoes because every time I bought these shoes, I rarely looking for the trend types of shoes,

✓ In my opinion, I prefer comfortable shoes because when I buy shoes, I rarely look for trendy styles,

'A comfortable shoes' is wrong: drop article and use plural 'comfortable shoes'. Use 'when I buy' for habitual present, not past 'bought'. Use 'look for' (base form), and 'trendy styles' is natural phrasing.

× but I do more for comfortable shoes that fits on my feet perfectly and feeling comfort of course.

✓ but I prefer comfortable shoes that fit my feet perfectly and are comfortable, of course.

'Do more for' is unnatural; use 'prefer'. 'Fits' must agree with plural 'shoes' so use 'fit'. 'Feeling comfort' is incorrect; use adjective 'comfortable' or 'feel comfortable.' Ensure subject-verb agreement and parallel structure.