Shoes— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the answer more concise and directly structured: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details (frequency and reason). Use a linking word to connect reason and frequency, and avoid repetition (e.g., ‘outfit’ used twice).

예시: Yes, I love buying shoes because I’m interested in fashion. Consequently, I update my shoe collection about twice a year to keep my outfits coordinated.

제안: Keep a clear topic sentence confirming you’ve bought online, then give one specific example with concise supporting details (what you bought, how you wear it, when you bought it). Use a linking word (e.g., ‘for example’ or ‘for instance’) and avoid unnecessary filler.

예시: Yes, I have bought shoes online. For example, I purchased a pair of dark red Mary Janes a few months ago, which I often wear with dresses or casual outfits because they complete my look.

제안: Be specific and eliminate hesitation or repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence stating the typical price, then give a reason and one brief supporting detail. Avoid filler sounds (‘uh’) and grammatical errors (e.g., singular/plural agreement).

예시: Usually I spend about 1,000 pesos per pair because I want good design without overspending; this price lets me buy well-made shoes from mid-range brands.

제안: Answer directly with a clear preference (fashionable or comfortable), then briefly explain with one or two specific reasons and use a linking word (e.g., ‘however’ or ‘although’) to show contrast. Correct word choice: use ‘comfort’ or ‘comfortability’ -> ‘comfort’.

예시: I prefer fashionable shoes because I care about how they look and match my outfits; however, I still consider comfort as a secondary factor when choosing a pair.

× I've actually bought shoes online.

✓ I've actually bought shoes online.

No correction needed; sentence correctly uses the present perfect with the past participle 'bought' to describe past experience relevant to the present.

× One of my favorite shoes at the moment is a pair of dark red Mary Jane's and I usually pair it with dresses or casual outfits.

✓ One of my favorite pairs of shoes at the moment is a dark-red Mary Jane, and I usually pair it with dresses or casual outfits.

Original has a possessive apostrophe in 'Mary Jane's' which is incorrect for the plural/name of a shoe style; this is a punctuation/structure error. Also 'One of my favorite shoes is a pair' is awkward; better to say 'One of my favorite pairs of shoes' or 'a dark-red Mary Jane.' Hyphenating 'dark-red' clarifies the compound adjective. The comma before 'and' separates two independent clauses. Suggestion: use 'pair of shoes' when referring to one item among many, remove the apostrophe from 'Mary Jane's.'

× I usually pair it with dresses or casual outfits.

✓ I usually pair them with dresses or casual outfits.

The pronoun 'it' refers to 'a pair of shoes,' which is treated as plural in everyday English; using 'them' matches plural reference. Use 'it' only if referring to 'a pair' as a single unit deliberately; 'them' is more natural when talking about shoes worn on two feet.

× I feel like it really completes the look and I bought it online a couple of months ago.

✓ I feel like they really complete the look, and I bought them online a couple of months ago.

Consistency with plural reference: 'they/them' should be used for 'a pair of shoes.' Also use a comma before 'and' to join independent clauses. Ensure pronoun number agrees with noun.

× I try to limit my spending whenever I'm buying shoes because I know they tend to get expensive the more popular the brand gets.

✓ I try to limit my spending whenever I buy shoes because I know they tend to get more expensive as the brand becomes more popular.

Change 'I'm buying' to 'I buy' for a general habitual action (present simple). Rephrase 'the more popular the brand gets' to 'as the brand becomes more popular' or 'the more popular a brand becomes' for natural comparison. 'Get expensive' is acceptable, but 'get more expensive' clarifies increasing cost.

× I try to at least limit my spending to 1000 pesos each.

✓ I try to limit my spending to at least 1,000 pesos per pair.

Move 'at least' to correct position: 'limit...to at least' is more natural. Use 'per pair' to clarify unit (each is vague). Use commas in numbers for readability. Choose consistent phrasing for currency limits.

× Uh, every time I buy a pair I feel like it's a a good amount to buy a perfectly well designed shoes but.

✓ Every time I buy a pair, I feel like that's a good amount to pay for a well-designed pair of shoes.

Multiple issues: duplicate 'a a,' incorrect 'it's a good amount to buy a ... shoes' (mixes singular/plural), awkward word order and trailing 'but' without continuation. Rephrase to 'that's a good amount to pay for a well-designed pair of shoes.' Remove filler 'Uh' in formal responses, add comma after introductory clause, and ensure singular/plural agreement.

× Like I mentioned, I'm a huge fan of fashion, so I tend to choose my shoes based on how good they look and how well they pair.

✓ Like I mentioned, I'm a huge fan of fashion, so I tend to choose my shoes based on how good they look and how well they match my outfits.

The verb 'pair' is typically intransitive; 'pair with' or 'match' is clearer. Use 'match my outfits' to express compatibility. This fixes verb usage and clarity.

× With outfits, I feel like I take comfortability as a criteria second to the aesthetic.

✓ When it comes to outfits, I consider comfort second to aesthetics.

'Comfortability' is nonstandard; use 'comfort.' 'Criteria' is plural, but sentence needs singular 'criterion' or rephrase to 'consider...second to aesthetics.' 'Aesthetic' used as a noun is awkward; 'aesthetics' better. Simplify structure for natural expression.