Shoes— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 回答は直接的で分かりやすいですが、繰り返し（"I I"）や文法の混乱があり、理由の表現が不自然です。改善点は次の通りです：1) 繰り返しを避けて文を短く明確にする。2) トピック文（頻度）を最初に述べ、その後でなぜそうするのかを一文で具体的に説明する。3) 接続詞（because, so, therefore）を適切に使い、論理の流れをはっきりさせる。4) 金銭の使い道（books）について語るときは動詞や目的語を正しく配置する。

예시: I don't really enjoy buying shoes. I usually buy a new pair about once a year because I'm not interested in fashion and I prefer to spend my money on books to improve my knowledge.

제안: 回答は肯定して理由を述べていますが、語順や語彙選択に少し不自然さがあります。改善点：1) 短く明確なトピック文（Yes, I have.）を使う。2) 理由を述べる際は自然な表現（"It's a waste of time to go to shops"）を使う。3) 接続詞（so, because）を正しく使い、理由と結果を分かりやすくつなぐ。4) 具体的な例（返品やサイズ確認など）を一つ付け加えると説得力が増す。

예시: Yes, I have. I find it a waste of time to visit several shoe shops, so I usually buy shoes online where I can compare styles and read reviews quickly.

제안: 金額の表現が不明瞭で繰り返しがあります（"10 or ¥2000"）。また、理由説明は少し混乱しています。改善点：1) 金額ははっきりと示す（e.g. "about ¥2,000"）。2) 理由は簡潔かつ文法的に正しい文で述べる。3) 接続詞を使って目的（booksを買う）を明確にする。4) 具体的な例や頻度を加えるとよい。

예시: I usually spend about ¥2,000 on a pair of shoes because I don't want to invest a lot in footwear; I prefer to spend my money on books to improve my knowledge.

제안: 回答は明確で理由も述べられており一貫性がありますが、細部で改善できます。改善点：1) 最初に簡潔なトピック文を置く（"I prefer comfortable shoes."）。2) 理由をもう少し具体的に（例：support, cushioning）述べる。3) 最後の対比を自然にするために接続詞を整える（e.g. "because fashionable shoes often lack support").

예시: I prefer comfortable shoes. Since I often walk or run at night, I need shoes with good support and cushioning, and fashionable shoes often lack those features.

× I don't like buying shoes and I I usually buy my shoes once a year I think because I'm not interested in it and I I want to spend money not for my shoes to books.

✓ I don't like buying shoes; I usually buy my shoes once a year because I'm not interested in them and I prefer to spend money on books.

The original has repetition ('I I'), run-on structure, incorrect conjunction use, and wrong object pronoun. Combine ideas with appropriate punctuation or conjunctions. Use 'them' for plural 'shoes' and 'prefer to spend money on books' is the correct prepositional phrase. Also remove redundant phrases. Suggestions: remove duplicated words, split into clearer clauses, use correct pronoun 'them', and 'spend money on books'.

× Yes I have because I think it's kind of waste of time to go do shoe shop and choose design so I usually finish buying online.

✓ Yes, I have, because I think it's kind of a waste of time to go to shoe shops and choose designs, so I usually finish buying online.

Missing 'a' before 'waste', missing preposition 'to' before 'shoe shop' and plural forms needed ('shops', 'designs'). 'Finish buying online' is acceptable but sounds better with commas. Suggestions: add article 'a', use plural nouns when generalizing, and include 'to' for destination verbs ('go to').

× I usually spend 10 or ¥2000 for my shoes because I don't want to spend that much on my shoes. I want to buy books or take this book instead to improve my knowledge.

✓ I usually spend 10 or ¥2000 on my shoes because I don't want to spend more than that. I prefer to buy books instead to improve my knowledge.

Use 'on' rather than 'for' with 'spend', and 'that much' followed by clarification 'more than that' is clearer. 'Take this book' is unnatural; 'buy books' fits context. Suggestions: use 'spend on', replace awkward phrases with 'prefer to buy books', and ensure comparative clarity.

× I prefer comfortable shoes because I often go for a walk at night, so fashionable shoes are uncomfortable for running.

✓ I prefer comfortable shoes because I often go for walks at night, and fashionable shoes are uncomfortable for running.

Use plural 'walks' for habitual activity. Use conjunction 'and' to join related reasons. The meaning is preserved but wording improved. Suggestions: pluralize habitual activities and use 'and' to connect clauses.