Shoes— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be clearer and more natural. Start with a direct topic sentence answering the question, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid unclear phrases (e.g., “invite”, “to this Beverly”) and filler words. Keep it within 3–4 sentences and use precise vocabulary (e.g., “enjoy”, “spend time”, “busy”).

예시: Yes, I enjoy buying shoes, and I usually go shopping with my mother once or twice a month. Shopping is a good way for us to spend time together, and I often try on many styles before deciding. Although I’m often busy with studies, I still make time for this because I love shoes.

제안: Provide a concise direct answer, then give one clear reason and a specific example. Use linking words (for example, so, therefore) and avoid repeating the same opinion. You can acknowledge pros briefly to sound balanced. Keep to 2–3 sentences.

예시: No, I haven’t bought shoes online because sizes can be unreliable and it’s hard to judge fit. For example, my sister ordered shoes that were the wrong size and had to return them, so I prefer trying shoes in a store.

제안: Answer directly with an estimated amount, then give a short reason or context. Use linking words like “because” or “so” and be specific about frequency or who pays. Avoid redundancy and keep to 2–3 sentences.

예시: I spend about $100 on shoes a year on average because I’m a student and my mother often buys them for me. Since I’m still looking for a job, I don’t buy shoes very frequently.

제안: Correct the contradiction and state your preference clearly (fashionable or comfortable). Provide one clear reason and an example, using linking words like “because” or “so”. Avoid saying the opposite (you wrote “Uncomfortable” but meant comfortable). Limit to 2–3 sentences.

예시: I prefer comfortable shoes because I often run errands and attend different events during the day. For example, I choose sneakers or cushioned flats so I can walk long distances without discomfort.

× Definitely, yes, I believe it is a way for me to invite.

✓ Definitely yes, I believe it is a way for me to relax.

The original sentence uses 'invite' which does not fit the context. This is a word choice/verb usage and sentence structure issue. Replace with a verb that matches the intended meaning (likely 'relax' or 'treat myself'). Suggestion: choose verbs that fit context and check collocations (e.g., 'a way for me to relax' or 'a way for me to treat myself').

× Moreover, I do this, uh, with my mom, so it's an example of a time spending time with her.

✓ Moreover, I do this with my mom, so it's an example of spending time with her.

This is a sentence structure and verb form issue. 'a time spending time with her' is redundant and ungrammatical. Use 'spending time with her' or 'a way to spend time with her'. Avoid repeating 'time'.

× Unfortunately to this Beverly is I'm always pressed for time, but it doesn't affect my passion for shoes.

✓ Unfortunately, despite this, I'm always pressed for time, but it doesn't affect my passion for shoes.

The original has misplaced words ('to this Beverly is') causing a sentence structure error and nonsense. Replace with a proper connector like 'despite this' to show contrast. Ensure word order: adverbial connector, subject, verb.

× No, I haven't. I don't think that it is a good thing, because you can't predict whether the size will fit you.

✓ No, I haven't. I don't think it's a good idea, because you can't predict whether the size will fit you.

Minor wording: 'a good thing' is acceptable but 'a good idea' is more natural here. Keep tense: present perfect for experience (I haven't), modal 'can't' is correct. Suggest using more natural collocation 'a good idea'.

× For example, my sister did a mistake on the size.

✓ For example, my sister made a mistake with the size.

'Did a mistake' is incorrect collocation; English uses 'make a mistake'. Also use 'with the size' or 'about the size' to indicate the error's subject. This is a past tense verb choice correction.

× I don't think that it's a good idea to purchase such things online.

✓ I don't think it's a good idea to buy such things online.

Use 'buy' instead of the more formal 'purchase' in spoken context; both are grammatical but 'buy' is more natural. This is a style/word choice suggestion to fit spoken answers.

× Only offline works.

✓ I prefer buying them in stores.

'Only offline works' is terse and unnatural. This is a sentence structure and register issue. Provide a full natural sentence: 'I prefer buying them in stores' or 'Shopping in physical stores works better for me.'

× To be honest, I have never calculated it but I believe it's around $100.

✓ To be honest, I have never calculated it, but I believe it's around $100.

This sentence is mostly correct; add a comma before 'but' for clarity. Present perfect 'have never calculated' is correct for unspecified time. Suggestion: keep tense and add punctuation.

× My mom always purchases me such things because I'm a student and I'm still looking for a job.

✓ My mom always buys me things like that because I'm a student and I'm still looking for a job.

'Purchases me such things' is unnatural phrasing. Use 'buys me things like that' or 'buys those for me'. This corrects pronoun/verb collocation and register to sound more natural.

× Uncomfortable shoes. I believe it's more practical as I have to run errands almost every day and be present in different events.

✓ Comfortable shoes. I believe they're more practical, as I have to run errands almost every day and attend different events.

The student said 'Uncomfortable shoes' which contradicts the intended meaning; likely meant 'comfortable shoes'. Also 'be present in different events' is awkward; use 'attend different events'. Correct adjective choice and verb phrase for natural expression.

× Therefore I would prefer comfort.

✓ Therefore, I would prefer comfort.

Add a comma after the introductory adverb 'Therefore' for correct punctuation. Sentence is otherwise fine. Also 'prefer comfort' is acceptable; alternatively 'prefer comfort over fashion.'