Shoes— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 発音や文法の誤り、冗長な語句を減らし、明確なトピック文と具体的な頻度の表現を使ってください。例えば「Delivery」は不要で混乱を招きます。頻度は“twice a year”と言うならその理由を簡潔に続け、接続詞（because / so）を正しく使って理由をつなげてください。回答は最大5文に収め、自然な語順と単語選択（function → functionality または purpose）を使いましょう。

예시: Yes, I do. I usually buy new shoes about twice a year because the soles wear out from daily use. I prefer shoes that are durable and functional, so I replace them when they no longer support my feet properly.

제안: 全体的に意味は伝わりますが、冗長な短いセンテンスを接続して流れを良くしましょう。接続詞（because, so, therefore）や代名詞を使って文を繋げ、自然な語順に整えてください。語彙は“convenient and efficient”で良いですが冠詞を正しく使い、“a convenient and efficient way”のように。

예시: Yes, I have. Lately I prefer buying shoes online because the shops are far from my house and visiting them takes a lot of time, so online shopping is a convenient and efficient way to save time.

제안: 金額の表現は良いですが、文のつながりと語彙選択を改善してください。“I often spend around ¥10,000 to ¥15,000”のようにレンジを示し、評価（not too expensive or cheap）を自然な表現に変え、理由を具体的に述べましょう。最後の部分の“so that I can stand both convenience and affordability”は不自然なので修正してください。

예시: I usually spend around ¥10,000 to ¥15,000 on a pair of shoes. I think this price range is reasonable because it balances quality and affordability for everyday use.

제안: 意図は明確ですが語彙と文法の誤りを直してください。“proudest”や“functionability”は不適切なので、“I value durability and functionality”のように言い換えましょう。理由は具体的に、仕事での使用や健康への影響を短く示してください。接続詞で論理をはっきりさせ、文を分けすぎないように。

예시: I prefer comfortable shoes to fashionable ones because I value durability and functionality. Comfortable, supportive shoes are important for my job and help prevent foot and back problems.

× Delivery. Yes I do.

✓ Yes, I do.

The word 'Delivery.' is unrelated to the question and creates a sentence fragment; remove it. Add a comma after 'Yes' for natural spoken response.

× I often buy shoes a bars twice a year.

✓ I often buy shoes about twice a year.

'a bars' is incorrect word choice and makes the phrase ungrammatical. Use 'about' to indicate an approximate frequency and omit the extraneous words. This fixes noun phrase and overall sentence structure.

× I'm proud of the function of shoes, so when the soles of my shoes get worn out, I will purchase new ones.

✓ I care about the function of shoes, so when the soles of my shoes get worn out, I buy new ones.

'Proud of the function of shoes' is semantically odd; 'care about' or 'concerned about' is more natural. Also 'I will purchase' shifts unnecessarily to future; use present simple 'buy' to express habitual action. This corrects word choice and tense.

× Yes, I have. Of course. Recently I hesitated to go to the shop to buy shoes.

✓ Yes, I have. Recently I have hesitated to go to the shop to buy shoes.

'Of course.' is unnecessary and creates choppiness; combine ideas and use present perfect 'have hesitated' to link to 'Have you ever bought shoes online?'. This corrects sentence flow and tense.

× It is because the shops are located far from my house and it takes a lot of time to go there.

✓ This is because the shops are located far from my house, and it takes a lot of time to get there.

Use 'This is because' rather than 'It is because' for clarity. 'Go there' is correct but 'get there' is more natural when talking about travel time. Add a comma before 'and' to join clauses.

× So shopping online is convenient and efficient way to save my time.

✓ So shopping online is a convenient and efficient way to save time.

Missing article 'a' before 'convenient'; 'my time' is unnatural—use 'time' generally. This fixes article usage and collocation.

× I'd say I often spend ¥10,000 or ¥15,000 on a pair of shoes.

✓ I'd say I often spend ¥10,000 to ¥15,000 on a pair of shoes.

Use a range '¥10,000 to ¥15,000' rather than 'or' to indicate typical spending. The contraction 'I'd say' is fine.

× In my opinion, this is not too expensive or too cheap.

✓ In my opinion, this is neither too expensive nor too cheap.

When negating both alternatives, use 'neither... nor...' rather than 'not... or...'. This corrects the correlative conjunction usage.

× It's an appropriate price so that I can stand both convenience and affordability.

✓ It's an appropriate price because it balances convenience and affordability.

'So that I can stand both' is awkward and incorrect. Use 'because it balances' to explain why the price is appropriate. This fixes sentence structure and word choice.

× Actually, I prefer comfortable shoes to fashionable ones and proudest durability and functionability when I choose shoes because they play an important role in my work and help maintain my health.

✓ Actually, I prefer comfortable shoes to fashionable ones and value durability and functionality when I choose shoes because they play an important role in my work and help maintain my health.

'Proudest' is the wrong adjective; 'value' expresses preference for qualities. 'Functionability' is nonstandard; use 'functionality.' This corrects word choice, adjective form and overall sentence clarity.