Shoes— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Improve grammar and clarity: use correct verb forms and singular/plural (e.g., "I don't buy many shoes"). Provide a clear topic sentence stating liking or not, then give specific frequency and reasons using linking words (e.g., "because", "for example"). Keep within 3–4 sentences and avoid repetition.

예시: I don't buy many shoes; I prefer buying clothes. However, I usually buy shoes about twice a year because of special occasions. For example, I buy one pair for our traditional festival and another for family weddings.

제안: Clarify sequence and use correct tense. State whether you have bought online, then describe the problem with specific details and link ideas (e.g., "however", "when"). Use vocabulary accurately (e.g., "looked elegant in photos", "didn't fit", "disappointed"). Keep sentences concise and coherent.

예시: Yes, I have bought shoes online, but the experience was disappointing. The shoes looked elegant in the photos; however, when they arrived they did not fit and the quality was poor. As a result, I felt disappointed because I had spent a lot of money.

제안: Give a clear estimate with currency and explain what increases the cost. Use coherent linking (e.g., "because", "including"). Correct grammar and avoid vague phrasing. State typical range rather than unclear superlatives.

예시: I usually spend up to 50,000 VND on shoes, including delivery fees when I buy online. Shipping costs and customs charges sometimes increase the total price, which is why I have been disappointed after paying more than expected.

제안: Start with a clear preference statement and then contrast with reasons using linking words (e.g., "but", "however"). Be specific about situations for each type and avoid repetition. Use correct grammar and pluralization.

예시: I prefer both, depending on the situation. For formal events like weddings and festivals I choose fashionable shoes because they look elegant, but for work or hiking I choose comfortable shoes because they provide support and last longer.

× Actually, I'm not a person who buy a lot of shoes, but yeah, I buy a lot of clothes.

✓ Actually, I'm not a person who buys a lot of shoes, but I do buy a lot of clothes.

Subject relative clause requires third person singular verb 'buys' to agree with 'a person who'. Also use 'do buy' for emphasis and remove redundant 'yeah'. Use consistent subject-verb agreement.

× So I often buy in year three time because for example, one is for our tradition festival and the second is for in our family someone wedding.

✓ So I often buy every three years because, for example, one pair is for our traditional festival and the second is for a family member's wedding.

The phrase 'in year three time' is incorrect; 'every three years' expresses frequency. Use 'pair' with shoes and 'traditional' as the correct adjective. 'A family member's wedding' is the correct possessive form. Maintain present simple for habitual action.

× So I bought a shoes.

✓ So I bought a pair of shoes.

'Shoes' is plural and cannot be used directly with the article 'a'. Use 'a pair of shoes' for a single purchase. This fixes the singular/plural mismatch.

× Yeah, I'm I bought a shoes online, but this came with me because the shoes in pictures and also in ads are very elegant, but also standing.

✓ Yes, I bought shoes online, but the ones I received were different because the shoes in the pictures and ads looked very elegant, but in reality they did not.

Remove extra 'I'm'; use past simple consistently ('bought', 'received'). 'A shoes' is incorrect—use 'shoes' or 'a pair of shoes'. 'Standing' is unclear; replace with 'in reality they did not' to express mismatch between pictures and real product.

× So when the shoes come and I receive my parcel.

✓ When the shoes arrived and I received my parcel, I realized they were different.

The original is a sentence fragment; combine clauses into a complete sentence in past tense to match the context. Use 'arrived' and 'received' for past events.

× So yeah, it is not pretty quite and I was said and I spend a lot of money on shoes.

✓ So, they were not very pretty and I was sad because I had spent a lot of money on them.

Use 'not very pretty' instead of 'not pretty quite'. 'Sad' is the correct adjective instead of 'said'. Use past perfect 'had spent' or simple past 'spent' to show prior action; include pronoun 'them' to refer to shoes.

× Spend a lot of money on my shoes because when I uh, send to them, so they receive and moreover delivery.

✓ I spend a lot of money on shoes because when I order online, I have to pay for the shoes and for delivery.

Original lacks subject and is fragmented. Replace vague 'send to them' with 'order online'. Clarify that costs include price plus delivery. Use present simple for habitual action.

× I bought online so delivery and also their tip.

✓ I bought online, so there is a delivery fee and sometimes a tip for the courier.

'Their tip' is ambiguous; clarify 'delivery fee' and 'tip for the courier'. Use 'there is' to introduce existence of fees.

× So I think it's uh, maximum 50,000 and I was, I was disappointed from them.

✓ So I think it's, at most, 50,000, and I was disappointed with them.

Use 'at most' for maximum amount. Correct preposition is 'disappointed with' (or 'disappointed in'). Keep past tense 'was disappointed'.

× Actually I prefer both of the fashionable shoes are in wedding and festival it look elegant but comfortable shoes are when you go for work and moreover when you go for hiking.

✓ Actually, I prefer both: fashionable shoes for weddings and festivals because they look elegant, and comfortable shoes for work and for hiking.

Restructure sentence for clarity. Use plural agreement 'weddings and festivals' and 'they look elegant'. Use parallel structure 'for work and for hiking'. Remove redundant 'moreover'.

× So comfortable shoes is quite good.

✓ So comfortable shoes are quite good.

Subject 'comfortable shoes' is plural, so use plural verb 'are' instead of 'is' to match subject-verb agreement.

× So I prefer both of.

✓ So I prefer both.

'Both of' is incomplete without an object; use 'both' alone when context is clear. This completes the sentence.