Library— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Try to make your answer more concise and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence directly answering the question, then add specific reasons using linking words to improve coherence. For example, instead of repeating 'I need to', say 'I go to the library when I want to study without distractions or borrow books.'

예시: I often go to the library when I want to study without distractions or borrow books. This helps me focus better and access a variety of resources.

제안: Avoid filler words like 'uh' and 'umm' and try to structure your answer clearly. Use linking words to connect ideas and provide specific details. For example, say 'I usually study and read religious books in the library because it helps me relax and clear my mind.'

예시: I usually study and read religious books in the library because it helps me relax and clear my mind. Additionally, the quiet environment allows me to concentrate better.

제안: Try to avoid hesitation and repetition. Provide a clear topic sentence and use linking words to add details. For example, 'Yes, I used to go to the school library every Wednesday because we had a library class once a week.'

예시: Yes, I used to go to the school library every Wednesday because we had a library class once a week. It was a great way to develop my reading habits early on.

제안: Avoid hesitation and unclear statements. Start with a clear topic sentence and support it with logical reasoning. For example, 'Although I am not very familiar with Chinese culture, I believe Chinese kids often go to libraries because most schools have them.'

예시: Although I am not very familiar with Chinese culture, I believe Chinese kids often go to libraries because most schools have them and provide access to books for students.

× It depends on the on my mood.

✓ It depends on my mood.

The phrase 'depends on the on my mood' contains a redundant preposition 'on'. The correct preposition is 'on' followed directly by the noun phrase 'my mood'. Removing the extra 'on' makes the sentence grammatically correct.

× I like to spend some time, uh, in the library to study, to read different kind of books related to religion, umm, as well and as well.

✓ I like to spend some time, uh, in the library to study, to read different kinds of books related to religion as well.

The phrase 'different kind of books' should be 'different kinds of books' because 'kinds' is plural when referring to multiple types. Also, the repeated phrase 'as well and as well' is redundant and should be simplified to 'as well'.

× And I like to and I like to free my mind and the library.

✓ And I like to free my mind in the library.

The phrase 'free my mind and the library' is incorrect because the preposition 'in' is needed to indicate the location where the mind is freed. Also, the repeated phrase 'I like to and I like to' is redundant and should be corrected.

× But when I was a kid, I used to go to the library because we had a, we had the library in our school and in seven days of in, in, in seven days of the week, week, one day we had the library class and I think it was on every Wednesday and we went to the library.

✓ But when I was a kid, I used to go to the library because we had a library in our school and in seven days of the week, one day we had the library class and I think it was every Wednesday and we went to the library.

The phrase 'in seven days of in, in, in seven days of the week, week' is repetitive and incorrect. The correct phrase is 'in seven days of the week'. Also, 'we had a, we had the library' is redundant; 'we had a library' suffices.

× As I am as I am an Indian, I do not know about much about the Chinese.

✓ As I am an Indian, I do not know much about the Chinese.

The phrase 'As I am as I am an Indian' contains a repeated 'as I am'. Also, 'know about much about' is redundant; it should be 'know much about'.

× But I think they also would go to the libraries because every school has the library and they also had they had I think they also have the access to the library.

✓ But I think they also go to the libraries because every school has a library and they also have access to the library.

The phrase 'they also would go' is awkward; 'they also go' is more natural in present tense. 'They also had they had' is repetitive and incorrect. 'Have access' is the correct phrase, not 'have the access'.