Chocolate— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and avoid fillers. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Use varied vocabulary (e.g., 'relaxed', 'uplifted') and reduce repetition.

예시: Yes, I enjoy eating chocolate because I love its rich taste and creamy texture. Also, it often makes me feel relaxed and uplifted, especially after a stressful day, so I occasionally have a small piece to improve my mood.

제안: Give a direct frequency statement first, then briefly explain with a reason. Remove hesitations and simplify phrasing. Use linking words like 'because' or 'usually'.

예시: I usually eat chocolate about twice a week, mainly because I’m trying to stick to a diet. For example, I often have one small piece with a cup of hot coffee on weekends.

제안: Answer directly and add a specific memory or example. Avoid vague generalizations and fillers. Mention the name of the chocolate clearly and describe why it was your favorite.

예시: Yes, I often ate chocolate as a child. My favorite was a brand called White Bear because it was very sweet and had a soft, creamy center that I loved to share with my friends.

제안: Give clear, specific reasons and use linking words to organize ideas (e.g., 'Firstly', 'Additionally'). Use more precise vocabulary like 'mood-enhancing' and give an example of cultural or practical reasons.

예시: I think chocolate is popular for two main reasons. Firstly, its taste and texture are appealing to many people. Additionally, chocolate can be mood-enhancing because it contains ingredients that promote pleasure, and it is also convenient and widely available as a gift or snack.

제안: State the flavour clearly, then give two specific sensory details. Avoid hesitations and use descriptive adjectives (e.g., 'rich', 'smooth', 'balanced').

예시: My favourite flavour is milk chocolate with a high cocoa content because it has a rich, slightly bitter cocoa note balanced by a smooth, creamy texture that I find very satisfying.

제안: Give a clear opinion followed by 1–2 concrete reasons and an example. Avoid vague statements about 'quality'—explain what you mean (e.g., variety, presentation).

예시: Yes, chocolate makes a good gift because most people enjoy it and there are many high-quality options available. For instance, you can choose luxury boxed chocolates for special occasions or artisanal bars for someone who prefers unique flavours.

× Yes, I like eating chocolate.

✓ Yes, I like eating chocolate.

This sentence is correct: 'like' can be followed by a gerund (verb+ing) to express enjoyment of an activity. No change needed.

× I like because I like uh, the taste of the, the taste of the chocolate and also, uh, when I eat chocolate, I feel uh, relaxing or feel happy and I think it helps uh, it helps us uh, to uh, feel.

✓ I like it because I enjoy the taste of chocolate, and when I eat it I feel relaxed and happy; I think it helps us feel better.

The original sentence contains disfluencies and unclear structure. The phrase 'I like because I like' lacks an object; add 'it' after 'like'. 'Feel relaxing' is incorrect because 'relaxing' is an adjective describing something that causes relaxation; the correct state is 'feel relaxed'. Remove repetitive phrases ('the taste of, the taste of') and redundant 'it helps' repetition. Use punctuation to separate ideas.

× Uh, because I, although I am always on diet, uh, I have uh, uh, the limited, uh, I have the restriction of uh, eating, uh, of the eating chocolate and uh, I sometimes maybe twice a week eat a piece of chocolate with hot coffee.

✓ Although I am always on a diet, I have restrictions on eating chocolate, and sometimes I eat a piece of chocolate with hot coffee, maybe twice a week.

Use 'on a diet' with the article 'a'. 'I have the restriction of eating' is awkward; use 'restrictions on eating chocolate'. 'Sometimes maybe twice a week eat a piece' has incorrect word order; place adverbials before the verb or at sentence end: 'sometimes I eat... maybe twice a week'. Maintain present simple for habitual actions.

× Yes uh like, uh, every child umm, I also, uh, like eat chocolate when I was a kid.

✓ Yes, like every child, I also ate chocolate when I was a kid.

When referring to a past habit ('when I was a kid'), use past simple 'ate' rather than present 'eat'. Also improve word order: 'like every child' is a parenthetical phrase.

× Uh, and uh, there are, uh, is, there is also my uh favorite chocolate and the name of this chocolate is uh white beer and uh, I sometimes.

✓ There was also a favorite chocolate of mine called 'White Bear', which I used to have sometimes.

Original is ungrammatical with conflicting 'there are, is'. For past context about childhood use past simple 'was'. Provide an article 'a favorite chocolate' and use a clear clause for the name. 'I sometimes' is incomplete; complete with 'which I used to have sometimes.' If the brand name is different, adjust accordingly.

× I think, uh, chocolate includes, uh, the ingredients, which uh, helps, uh, people, uh, to feel happy, I think.

✓ I think chocolate contains ingredients that help people feel happy.

Use 'contains' or 'includes' without 'the' before 'ingredients' in this general statement. Use 'that' instead of a comma+which here; 'ingredients that help' is restrictive. 'Help' should be plural agreement with 'ingredients'. Avoid redundant 'I think' twice.

× And also when, uh, umm, I eat chocolate, I feel, uh, that, uh, my mood improve and I think it's the, an item.

✓ Also, when I eat chocolate, I feel that my mood improves, and I think it's an item that cheers people up.

After 'I feel that my mood' use third person singular verb 'improves'. 'It's the, an item' is unclear; rephrase to 'it's an item that cheers people up' or 'it lifts the mood.' Ensure subject-verb agreement.

× My favorite flavor of chocolate is, uh, darker, uh, chocolate with milk.

✓ My favorite flavor of chocolate is dark chocolate with milk.

Use 'dark chocolate' rather than 'darker chocolate' (comparative) when naming a type. 'Dark' is the correct adjective here. Remove unnecessary commas and filler words.

× I think, uh, you know, the creamy texture and also the mixture of chocolate and the milk is, uh, for me, uh, very tasty.

✓ I think the creamy texture and the combination of chocolate and milk are very tasty to me.

When listing two subjects ('the creamy texture' and 'the combination...') use plural verb 'are'. Use 'combination' rather than 'mixture' for natural collocation and drop 'the' before 'milk'. Place 'to me' at end for clarity.

× Yes, it's good to use chocolate as gifts to other because I think everyone likes chocolate and it's a great umm gift for everyone.

✓ Yes, it's good to give chocolate as a gift to others because I think everyone likes chocolate and it's a great gift for everyone.

Use 'give ... as a gift' rather than 'use ... as gifts to other'. 'Other' should be plural 'others'. 'A great gift for everyone' already expresses idea; keep consistent noun phrases.

× Uh and also it's uh umm, have uh uh, to uh, quality, uh and uh, the range.

✓ Also, it has good quality and a wide range of options.

Original is fragmented and lacks structure. Use 'it has' to indicate possession and provide clear nouns: 'good quality' and 'a wide range of options.' This completes the thought and corrects verb usage.