Memory— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Cải thiện ngữ pháp cơ bản và tính tự nhiên: sửa các lỗi động từ (ví dụ: 'to have good memory' → 'have a good memory'; 'can't memory' → 'can't remember'), loại bỏ cụm từ không tự nhiên ('I'm not kind person') và viết câu rõ ràng, ngắn gọn. Ngoài ra, nên bắt đầu bằng một câu chủ đề trực tiếp, rồi bổ sung 1-2 chi tiết cụ thể, dùng liên từ đơn giản để mạch lạc.

예시: Not really — I don't have a very good memory. I usually only remember the most important things, such as my study tasks and appointments. For example, I always write deadlines in my planner so I don't forget them.

제안: Giảm tiếng um/ah và sửa thì động từ (ví dụ: 'I forget' → 'I forgot'), loại bỏ các cụm từ lặp và diễn đạt rõ ràng sự kiện theo trình tự hợp lý. Thêm chi tiết cụ thể (khoảng cách, cảm xúc) nhưng tránh dư thừa. Dùng liên từ như 'so' hoặc 'therefore' để liên kết ý.

예시: Yes, a few days ago I forgot my phone in class and had to travel more than 10 kilometres to get it back, so I felt really anxious. I was worried I might lose important messages or the battery could die before I returned.

제안: Tăng độ chính xác và mạch lạc: sửa cấu trúc ('as such as' → 'such as'), sử dụng danh sách ngắn, rõ ràng và cụ thể; sửa lỗi số nhiều/số ít ('sometime' → 'sometimes', 'new friends names' → 'new friends' names'). Có thể nêu ví dụ cụ thể cho mỗi loại việc cần nhớ.

예시: I need to remember practical things such as appointments, project deadlines and daily tasks. I also sometimes need to remember new friends' names and important information like my parents' phone numbers, so I write these down in my phone.

제안: Cải thiện sự trôi chảy và rút bỏ lặp từ ('I I'), tránh các tiếng ngập ngừng, và dùng cấu trúc rõ ràng: nêu phương pháp chính (repetition) rồi giải thích ngắn gọn vì sao và đưa ví dụ cụ thể. Dùng từ vựng chính xác ('memorise'/'remember', 'review regularly').

예시: I usually use repetition to remember new information because reviewing something several times helps it stick in my memory. For example, I repeat vocabulary aloud and review it every evening, which helps me recall it during exams.

× I'm not kind person to have good memory, so I can't memory many things.

✓ I'm not the kind of person to have a good memory, so I can't remember many things.

The phrase 'kind person' needs an article and 'of' to form 'the kind of person'. 'Good memory' requires the article 'a'. 'Memory' is a noun; the intended verb is 'remember'. Use 'can't remember' for inability.

× I can only remember important things like my study tasks or my appointment.

✓ I can only remember important things, such as my study tasks or my appointments.

Use 'such as' or 'like' without redundancy and pluralize 'appointment' to match 'tasks'. The sentence uses present ability, so keep 'remember' (base form) with 'can'.

× Oh yes, umm, I noticed that uh, a few days ago, umm, I forget my phone in class, so I had to travel more than 10 kilometers in order to tip my in order to take my phone back.

✓ Oh yes. A few days ago, I forgot my phone in class, so I had to travel more than 10 kilometers to go back and pick it up.

When referring to a completed action in the past, use the past tense 'forgot' not 'forget'. 'In order to' is wordy; 'to' is sufficient. 'Tip my' is incorrect; use 'pick it up' or 'go back and get it'. Sentence should be clearer and concise.

× And at that time I felt really anxious about that.

✓ At that time I felt really anxious about it.

Replace 'that' with the pronoun 'it' to refer back to the situation. The past tense 'felt' is correct; remove redundant 'and' at sentence start for formality.

× Oh yes, there are many things I need to remember in my daily life as such as my appointments or my projects or my tasks I need to do.

✓ There are many things I need to remember in my daily life, such as my appointments, projects, or tasks.

Use 'such as' without 'as' preceding it ('as such as' is incorrect). Avoid repetitive 'my' and streamline the list with commas. 'Tasks I need to do' is redundant; 'tasks' suffices.

× Furthermore, sometime I need to remember new friends names and something news like my parents phone number.

✓ Furthermore, sometimes I need to remember new friends' names and new information like my parents' phone number.

Use 'sometimes' (adverb) not 'sometime'. Use possessive apostrophe for 'friends' names' and 'parents' phone number'. 'Something news' is wrong; say 'new information' or 'news' depending on meaning.

× With me, I I usually use repetition in order to remember new things.

✓ I usually use repetition to remember new things.

Remove duplicated 'I' and the unnecessary phrase 'With me'. 'In order to' can be shortened to 'to' for conciseness.

× Umm because I believe that when I repeat something for many times or review it regularly, my brain can start it more effectively and I can remember it for a long time.

✓ Because I believe that when I repeat something many times or review it regularly, my brain can store it more effectively and I can remember it for a long time.

Use 'many times' without 'for'. 'Start it' is incorrect verb choice; 'store it' or 'retain it' fits meaning. Remove filler 'Umm' at start of sentence for clarity.