Memory— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and natural: begin with a direct topic sentence, then give one clear supporting detail using linking words. Avoid repetition (e.g., “remember memories”). Use correct collocations and reduce sentence fragments.

예시: Not particularly — I’m not very good at memorising things. However, I rely on photographs to help me remember important moments, so I take pictures and save them with captions on my phone or social media.

제안: Answer directly and confidently, use specific example and linking word to explain how you cope. Replace uncertain phrasing (“may have”) with a clearer statement and avoid repeating phrases.

예시: Yes, I have forgotten important things before. For instance, I once missed an appointment, but I now check my phone photos and calendar regularly to jog my memory and prevent this from happening again.

제안: Start with a clear topic sentence and then give two specific examples with linking words. Correct word choice and grammar (e.g., ‘what they are for’ → ‘why they are prescribed’). Keep sentences smooth and under five sentences.

예시: I need to remember many things in my daily life, especially at work. For example, as a nurse I prioritise patient safety and must remember patients’ medications and why they are prescribed, so I always double-check charts and medication labels.

제안: Organise the answer clearly with linking words (first, second, finally) and make phrasing natural (e.g., ‘set reminders on my phone’). Avoid redundancy (‘in order for me to remember’). Keep to two or three concise sentences.

예시: I use three main methods to remember important things. First, I save photos with captions and dates; second, I set reminders and alarms on my phone; and finally, I take short notes in a notebook or app so I can quickly review them later.

× I'm not very good at memorizing things.

✓ I'm not very good at memorizing things.

No change needed; the gerund 'memorizing' after 'good at' is correct.

× However, I try to remember memories using photographs.

✓ However, I try to remember things using photographs.

The word 'memories' is a noun and repeating 'remember memories' is redundant. Use 'remember things' or simply 'remember' to improve clarity; no past participle is required.

× For example. I love taking pictures and storing it on my social media in order for me to remember them.

✓ For example, I love taking pictures and storing them on my social media to help me remember.

'For example.' should be linked to the following clause with a comma. 'Storing it' is incorrect because 'pictures' is plural, so use 'them' (plural pronoun). 'In order for me to remember them' is wordy; 'to help me remember' is more natural.

× Yes, I may have forgotten something important.

✓ Yes, I have forgotten something important.

'May have forgotten' suggests possibility; if confirming past forgetfulness, use present perfect 'have forgotten'. Keep modal only if indicating uncertainty.

× However, I do try to recall the important moments in my life and I try to recall them by accessing my photos in my phone.

✓ However, I do try to recall the important moments in my life by accessing the photos on my phone.

Redundant repetition of 'try to recall' can be reduced. Use 'accessing the photos on my phone' rather than 'accessing my photos in my phone'—'on my phone' is the correct prepositional phrase.

× I always need to remember a lot of things, especially since I work as a nurse.

✓ I always need to remember a lot of things, especially because I work as a nurse.

Using 'since' is acceptable for time but can be ambiguous; 'because' clearly expresses reason here. Tense is fine otherwise.

× I am prioritizing patient safety, their medications, and what they are for for my patients Wellness and well-being.

✓ I prioritize patient safety, their medications and purposes, and my patients' wellness and well-being.

Problems: 'I am prioritizing' is awkward; simple present 'I prioritize' suits habitual duty. 'What they are for for my patients Wellness' has repeated 'for' and incorrect capitalization. Use 'purposes' for clarity and possessive 'patients'' for wellness. Also add commas appropriately.

× I try to remember important things in three ways.

✓ I try to remember important things in three ways.

Sentence is correct; gerund usage 'remember' with 'try to' is appropriate.

× First, I store them on my social media with captions and dates.

✓ First, I store them on my social media with captions and dates.

Sentence is correct; 'store on social media' is acceptable.

× Second, I use my phone on as a reminder and then I also take notes in order for me to remember.

✓ Second, I set reminders on my phone and I also take notes to help me remember.

'Use my phone on as a reminder' is incorrect word order and preposition. Say 'set reminders on my phone'. 'In order for me to remember' is wordy; 'to help me remember' is more natural.