Memory— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 回答は主題に直接触れており具体例もあるが、言い間違いや繰り返し（"I like I like"）、文のつながりの不自然さ、語彙の単純さが目立ちます。以下を改善してください：1) 冗長な語や繰り返しを避け、簡潔に述べる。2) トピック文の後に接続詞（例えば "for example" の前に短い説明）で理由や詳細を明確につなげる。3) “memorize” や “appearance” に加え、より適切な表現（"identify", "recognize", "plumage", "calls"）を使って語彙の幅を示す。4) 文は最大5文以内に収め、流暢さを保つ。

예시: Yes, I am. I enjoy bird watching, and I'm good at identifying species by their appearance and calls. For example, I can recognize several local birds by their plumage and songs, which helps me remember their names more easily.

제안: 回答は経験を述べているが、口頭のつなぎ語（"uh", 繰り返し）や文法の不正確さ（時制や冗長な語）で印象が弱くなっています。改善点：1) 不要なフィラー（"uh", 繰り返し）を減らす。2) 時制と主語一致を確認する（"I felt embarrassed"）。3) 具体的な結果や学んだことを一文で付け加え、会話を豊かにする。

예시: Yes, I have. Once I forgot my close friend's birthday and felt very embarrassed. To make up for it, I bought him a present and set a reminder on my phone so it wouldn't happen again.

제안: 答えは要点を伝えているが、表現が不明瞭で言い間違い（"key number", "flight store"）があり、意味が取りにくい箇所があります。改善点：1) 質問に直接答える明確なトピック文を使う（例："I need to remember important numbers and keys.")。2) 不明瞭な語は置き換える（"key number" → "door key code"、"flight store" の意味を明確化）。3) 支持する詳細を追加するときは接続詞（for example, because）を使い論理的に繋ぐ。

예시: I need to remember practical things like my house key code and important passwords. For example, I always make sure I know the door code and my work schedule because I use them every day.

제안: 方法は示されているが、表現に繰り返しや曖昧さがあり（"take a note or make a memorandum"）、語法の誤り（"password of every applications"）があります。改善点：1) フィラーと繰り返しを減らす。2) 自然な表現に直す（"I usually take notes"、"I keep a note of passwords"）。3) セキュリティ面の配慮を一言加えると内容に深みが出る（例えば、バックアップや安全な管理方法）。

예시: I usually take notes on my phone to remember important things. For example, I keep a secure note with my app passwords and use a password manager to protect them.

× For example, I like I like bird watching and I memorize the name and appearance and songs of the birds, so I'm very good at it.

✓ For example, I like bird watching, and I memorize the names, appearances, and songs of the birds, so I'm very good at it.

The speaker repeated 'I like' which is a sentence structure error (26). Also nouns need plural forms when referring to multiple items: 'name', 'appearance', 'songs' should be 'names' and 'appearances' (1). Commas improve clarity and items in a list should be separated. Suggestion: remove duplicate words, use plural nouns for multiple birds, and separate items with commas.

× I once forgot my friend's birthday and I feel embarrassed because he is my uh close friend and and later I I bought a present for my for his birthday.

✓ I once forgot my friend's birthday and I felt embarrassed because he was my close friend, and later I bought a present for his birthday.

The sentence mixes past and present tenses. The forgetting and the embarrassment happened in the past, so 'feel' should be 'felt' and 'is' should be 'was' (5). Remove duplicated words ('and and', 'I I', 'for my for'). Suggestion: keep tense consistent (past) for past events and eliminate repeated words.

× Umm, what an example is that I have to remember my key number because, uh, of course I have to log and open my doors, my flight store every day.

✓ For example, I have to remember my key number because I have to unlock and open my doors and my flat's storage every day.

Original has awkward phrasing and unclear nouns (26). 'What an example is that' is incorrect structure; use 'For example'. 'Log and open my doors' is wrong verb choice; use 'unlock'. 'my flight store' is likely a mispronunciation—assumed 'flat's storage' or 'front door' depending on meaning. Suggestion: use clear verbs (unlock), correct noun choices, and standard example phrase.

× MMM, I usually take uh, take a note or make a memorandum of what I should remember.

✓ I usually take a note or make a memorandum of what I should remember.

Repeating 'take' is a speech disfluency; grammatically, keep one 'take'. No -ing required here. Suggestion: remove repeated word to form a correct sentence (8).

× For example, I have a note of my password of every applications on my phone.

✓ For example, I have a note of my passwords for every application on my phone.

Prepositions are incorrect and nouns need correct number. Use 'for' to indicate purpose/use ('passwords for every application') and pluralize 'passwords' and singular 'application' or plural 'applications' consistently. Also 'every application' takes singular noun: 'every application'. Suggestion: write 'passwords for every application' or 'passwords for all my applications'.