Machine— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and structure your reply with a clear topic sentence followed by one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition (e.g., ‘keep cold and fresh’). Use varied vocabulary (e.g., preserve, chill, beverages) and limit to 3–4 sentences.

예시: My favourite machine at home is the refrigerator because it preserves food and prevents spoilage. For example, it keeps dairy and leftovers fresh for several days, which saves money and reduces waste. Also, I use it to chill drinks quickly, so it’s very convenient when guests come.

제안: Start with a clear direct answer, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words (because/so/for example). Reduce hesitations and correct small wording errors (e.g., 'washing machines and vacuums' not 'in the vacuums'). Keep sentences shorter and more precise.

예시: Yes, I think washing machines and vacuum cleaners are very important because they save time and make cleaning more efficient. For example, a washing machine handles large loads quickly, so you can focus on work or study, and a vacuum cleaner removes dust faster than sweeping.

제안: Provide a direct answer and a concise reason. Avoid unclear phrasing like 'I don't really hear you instructions'—say 'I don't usually read instructions.' Limit listing many devices; instead give one brief example. Keep to 2–3 sentences.

예시: No, I don't usually read instructions because I feel confident figuring out new devices. For instance, when I get a new phone or appliance, I usually explore the menus and settings rather than read the manual.

제안: Answer directly and balance your personal view with a general statement. Use clearer linking words (however, although, for example). Avoid repetitive phrasing ('he or she'). Offer a concise example of when reading instructions is beneficial.

예시: It depends. Although I don’t usually read manuals because I’m comfortable with technology, I think instructions are important for complex or dangerous equipment. For example, you should read safety instructions before using power tools or unfamiliar kitchen appliances.

× My favorite machine at home is our refrigerator as it plays an important role when it comes to preserving our food and also I love drinking cold drinks so that is where we keep ice and beverages to keep it cold and fresh.

✓ My favorite machine at home is our refrigerator because it plays an important role in preserving our food, and I love cold drinks, so we keep ice and beverages there to keep them cold and fresh.

Pronoun and reference issues: 'that is where we keep ice and beverages to keep it cold and fresh' mixes singular/plural references and uses 'that' awkwardly. Changed 'as' to 'because' for clarity and 'it' to 'them' to refer to 'ice and beverages'. Also adjusted prepositions and word order for natural English. Grammar problem type id: 12

× I definitely think washing machines in the vacuums are important because it helps us with household chores and it saves time, uh, whenever we need to do a lot of things, umm, it's reliable to use washing machines in order for you to multitask and be able to do a lot of stuff in a daily basis.

✓ I definitely think washing machines and vacuums are important because they help us with household chores and save time when we have a lot to do. They are reliable for multitasking and help you do many things on a daily basis.

Pronoun and agreement errors: 'washing machines in the vacuums' is incorrect (should be 'and vacuums'). 'It helps' should be 'they help' to agree with plural subject. Removed filler words and corrected 'in a daily basis' to 'on a daily basis'. Replaced 'it’s reliable to use washing machines in order for you to multitask' with clearer plural phrasing. Grammar problem type id: 12

× To be honest, I don't really hear you, uh, instructions before using a machine because I don't think I need it.

✓ To be honest, I don't really read instructions before using a machine because I don't think I need to.

Verb and object choice error: 'hear instructions' is wrong for written instructions; 'read instructions' is correct. Also 'I don't think I need it' is awkward—'need to' (need to read them) omits unnecessary object and matches infinitive form. Grammar problem type id: 8

× I'm very knowledgeable when it comes to using technology such as washing machines, refrigerators, cell phones, new gadgets, iPad, iPhone and I consider myself as a very techie person, so there.

✓ I'm very knowledgeable when it comes to using technology such as washing machines, refrigerators, cell phones, and new gadgets like iPads and iPhones, and I consider myself a very techy person.

Preposition and article issues: 'consider myself as' should be 'consider myself a'. 'iPad, iPhone' needs plural forms when speaking generally ('iPads and iPhones'). 'techie' is informal; 'techy' or 'technically inclined' are alternatives. Also added commas and 'like' for examples. Grammar problem type id: 11

× Uh, it really depends upon the person. If he or she thinks, uh, he or she needs to read the instructions first before using a device or a machine, he or she may do so.

✓ It really depends on the person. If someone thinks they need to read the instructions before using a device or machine, they may do so.

Pronoun repetition and gender neutrality: Replacing repeated 'he or she' with 'someone' and singular 'they' improves flow and modern usage. Also changed 'depends upon' to the more common 'depends on' and removed redundant 'first'. Grammar problem type id: 12

× But for me, since I'm a very techie person and I have this instinct when it comes to using devices, I don't really need to.

✓ But for me, since I'm very tech-savvy and instinctive with devices, I don't really need to.

Pronoun and word choice: 'a very techie person' is casual; 'tech-savvy' is more natural. 'I have this instinct when it comes to using devices' is wordy—'instinctive with devices' is concise. The sentence ends with 'I don't really need to' which is acceptable; clarified wording for fluency. Grammar problem type id: 12