Snacks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 文法と時制の誤りを直し、より自然で簡潔な表現を使いましょう。具体的には“when I got tired”は現在の習慣について話すので“when I get tired”にし、動詞の形や冠詞を整えるとよいです。またSupporting detail（どんな状況で・どんな種類のスナックか）を1〜2文でまとめ、接続語（for example / or）を使って流れを滑らかにしてください。

예시: I usually eat snacks when I get tired after work or after exercising. For example, I often have chocolate or potato chips because they are quick and convenient.

제안: 答えが途中で終わっているため明確な結論と理由を簡潔に示しましょう。不要な「uh」を減らし、“they contain high amounts of sugar, salt and unhealthy fats”のように表現を整え、最後に自分の行動や意見（例えば“so I try to avoid them”）で締めてください。

예시: No, I don't think snacking is healthy because many snacks contain high amounts of sugar, salt and unhealthy fats. Therefore, I try to avoid them or choose healthier options like fruit.

제안: 回答はほぼ良いですが、より自然にするために接続表現を入れて流れを滑らかにしましょう。例えば“because”の前に短い導入文を加え、具体例（どんなルールがあったか）を1つ示すと説得力が増します。

예시: No, I didn't eat many snacks as a child. My parents were strict about healthy eating, so for example we rarely had sweets at home.

제안: 文法（冠詞・時制）と語順を改善し、最後の表現“They gave me indulgence”は不自然なので“they are a treat”などに言い換えましょう。また一つの理由と頻度をつけ加えて自然にまとめてください。

예시: I sometimes eat chocolate or potato chips, which I buy at the convenience store near my house or workplace. I usually treat myself to them when I want a quick snack or a small reward.

× I generally eat snacks when I got tired after work or had exercise.

✓ I generally eat snacks when I get tired after work or after exercising.

The original uses past tense verbs 'got' and 'had' while the sentence describes a habitual present action. Use present simple 'get' and a gerund 'exercising' to indicate repeated or habitual events: 'when I get tired' and 'after exercising'. Use 'after exercising' rather than 'had exercise' for natural English.

× I typically eat chocolate or potato snacks.

✓ I typically eat chocolate or potato snacks.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable; no change required. 'Chocolate' can be used uncountably and 'potato snacks' works as a plural noun. Keep as is.

× No, I don't think it is healthy to eat snacks because, uh, they contain high sugar, salt and unhealthy fats, so I should.

✓ No, I don't think it is healthy to eat snacks because they contain high levels of sugar, salt, and unhealthy fats, so I shouldn't.

Use 'high levels of' or 'a lot of' before uncountable nouns like 'sugar'. Also the ending 'so I should' is logically inconsistent; the student means to say they should not eat snacks, so use the negative 'so I shouldn't'. Remove filler 'uh' in formal corrections.

× No, I didn't. My parents were strict about healthy eating so I wasn't very interested in snacks when I was a child.

✓ No, I didn't. My parents were strict about healthy eating, so I wasn't very interested in snacks when I was a child.

This sentence is correct in tense use (past) to describe a past habit. Only a comma is added before 'so' to join independent clauses more clearly. Tenses 'were' and 'wasn't' are appropriate.

× I sometimes eat chocolate or potato chips.

✓ I sometimes eat chocolate or potato chips.

This sentence is correct. 'Chocolate' can be uncountable and 'potato chips' is plural; no change needed.

× I buy them at convenience store near my house or my workplace.

✓ I buy them at the convenience store near my house or workplace.

We need the definite article 'the' before 'convenience store' because a specific nearby store is implied. Also use 'near my house or workplace' (omit the second 'my') for conciseness and parallel structure.

× They gave me indulgence.

✓ They give me indulgence.

The original 'They gave me indulgence' uses past tense 'gave' which conflicts with the present habitual context. Use present simple 'give' to indicate a general truth. However, 'give me indulgence' is awkward; better phrasing is 'They are an indulgence for me' or 'They are indulgent treats.' But to follow the original meaning minimally, 'They give me indulgence' changes tense; consider 'They are an indulgence for me.'