Hometown— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 地名は一貫して「Xi’an」と発音・表記し、「Asian capital city」ではなく「an ancient capital city」と言いましょう。最初に場所を直接答え、その後に位置や歴史を補足してください。また、「in the middle of China」より「in central China」のほうが自然です。

예시: My hometown is Xi’an, an ancient city in central China. It is famous for its rich history and traditional architecture.

제안: 好きな点を2つに整理し、具体例を1つか2つだけ挙げてください。「You can really find another similar city...」は文法的に不自然で意味が伝わりにくいため、「It is difficult to find another city...」に直しましょう。最後の「like C」は削除してください。

예시: I love Xi’an because of its delicious food and historical architecture. For example, the Bell Tower and the City Wall are in the city centre, so I can enjoy the history while exploring the city.

제안: 過去に住んでいた期間と現在の状況を分けて説明してください。「have lived...until I graduated」は不自然なので、「I lived there for about 18 years, until I graduated from high school」と言いましょう。大学名や場所が不明瞭なので、簡潔に「I now study in another city」と表現できます。

예시: I lived in Xi’an for about 18 years, until I graduated from high school. I now study in another city, but I return home during my university holidays.

제안: 冒頭の意見と後半の理由が矛盾しているため、「全体としては良いが、キャリア面では限界がある」のように立場を明確にしてください。「postcomments」「premier school friends」「growing money」は不自然です。若者に関係する具体的な理由として、給与や仕事の機会を説明しましょう。

예시: Xi’an is a pleasant place for young people, but it may not be the best place to build a career. The cost of living is reasonable, but salaries and job opportunities are generally better in cities such as Shanghai and Beijing.

제안: 歴史的事実を正確な文にまとめ、「Xi’an was the capital of thirteen dynasties」と言いましょう。「everyone」は文が途中で終わっているため削除してください。家族から聞いたことと、その結果として感じる誇りをリンク語でつなぐと自然です。

예시: Yes. I learned that Xi’an was the capital of thirteen Chinese dynasties. My relatives often told me stories about this when I was young, so I feel very proud of my hometown’s history.

제안: 「test book」は「textbook」、「in front of your eye」は「with your own eyes」と言い換えてください。文化を教科書だけでなく、実際の建築物や街並みから学んだという対比を明確にしましょう。「any other countries」ではなく「many other cities」とすると比較が適切です。

예시: Yes, I did. I learned about Xi’an’s culture not only from textbooks but also by seeing its historical buildings with my own eyes. This makes the city feel quite unique compared with many other places.

제안: 都市の規模を直接答えた後、観光に必要な日数を説明してください。「It's a quite big city」は「It's quite a large city」、「stay round awake」は意味が不明なので「stay for around a week」としましょう。「I bet no one can...」より控えめな表現が自然です。

예시: It’s quite a large city, although it is not as modern as Beijing or Shanghai. To explore its historical sites and try its many local dishes, I think visitors should stay for at least four or five days.

제안: 好きな点と嫌いな点を明確に分けてください。「people's understanding and their thoughts」は曖昧なので、「people can be conservative」など具体的に表現しましょう。「stay in their inch」は誤りで、「stay in their comfort zone」または「remain in their hometown」が適切です。

예시: Yes, I like my hometown, especially its food and traditional culture. However, some people are quite conservative and expect their children to remain in the same city, which can limit young people’s choices.

제안: この回答は意味が不明瞭で、質問への直接的な答えが不足しています。嫌いな点を1つに絞り、「I dislike the traffic and overcrowding」のように具体的に述べてください。「other countries that people move to...」など不明確な部分は削除し、2～3文でまとめましょう。

예시: Yes. I dislike the traffic and overcrowding, especially in the city centre. Xi’an has become much busier because of tourism and migration, so it does not feel as peaceful as it did when I was a child.

제안: 現在住んでいるのか、帰省時の滞在を指しているのかを明確にしてください。「I only can stand to stay」は「I can only stay」、「chat some new activities」は「try some new activities」に直します。好きな点と長期滞在を好まない理由を、短い文とリンク語で説明しましょう。

예시: I enjoy visiting Xi’an because I can eat delicious local food and try new activities. However, it is quite crowded, and I sometimes find the people’s behaviour stressful, so I usually stay for only about a week.

제안: 将来住み続ける予定がないことと、子どもを連れて帰省したい理由を分けてください。「I want to know I want them to understand」は重複しているため、「I want them to understand」にします。「because of they leave abroad」は「even if they grow up abroad」、「their root」は「their roots」が自然です。

예시: Probably not, because I prefer the career opportunities in a larger city. However, if I have children, I will take them to Xi’an during the holidays so that they can learn about Chinese culture and remember their roots.

제안: 「thirteen dynasties in ancient times」は「the capital of thirteen dynasties」、「especially in the noodles」は「especially its noodles」としましょう。聞き取りにくい固有名詞は、確実な語彙で「city wall, pagodas and traditional houses」と説明してください。観光地としての特徴を3文程度に整理すると効果的です。

예시: Xi’an is a historic city that served as the capital of thirteen dynasties. It is famous for its tasty noodles, the ancient City Wall, pagodas and traditional buildings. It is also a popular tourist destination.

제안: 「Harvard Potter warriors and horses」は「the Terracotta Warriors and Horses」、「Shanxi province」は「Shaanxi province」に修正してください。場所について自分で矛盾しないように、「They are near Xi’an, although not in the city centre」と説明しましょう。「miracle happens」は「historical attraction is located」のほうが適切です。

예시: Xi’an is famous for the Terracotta Warriors and Horses. The site is just outside the city, and it attracts visitors from all over the world because of its historical importance.

제안: この回答は語句の選択と文構造が不明瞭です。「the route of my China」「supervilent」「turned a white」は意味が伝わりません。学校で何を学んだかを、王朝名や歴史的役割など具体的な内容で簡潔に答えてください。

예시: Yes, we studied Xi’an’s history at school. We learned that it was the capital of several important dynasties, especially the Tang Dynasty, when the city became a major cultural and trading centre.

제안: 若者の数についてまず明確に答え、その後に若者が流出する理由を説明してください。「young generations」は「young people」、「countries」は文脈上「companies」または「outsiders」の可能性があるため、意図に合う語を選びましょう。「go outside」は「move to other cities」とすると自然です。

예시: Yes, there are many young people in Xi’an, particularly university students. However, many graduates move to cities such as Beijing or Shanghai because they can find better career opportunities there.

제안: 給与の数字が不明確なので、正確な金額が分からない場合は「relatively low」と言いましょう。「cannot bring them to have a good life」は「does not provide a comfortable standard of living」、「if you don't have any skills」は「for people without specialist skills」と表現できます。結論、理由、対比の順に整理してください。

예시: I do not think it is the best place for young people to pursue their careers. Although it is relatively easy to find an entry-level job, average salaries are fairly low, and there are fewer opportunities for professional growth than in larger cities.

× I really love the food there and also the heritage, architecture such as the Bell Tower and City Wall.

✓ I really love the food there, as well as its heritage and architecture, such as the Bell Tower and the City Wall.

Heritage and architecture are uncountable nouns in this context, so they should not be joined as if they were plural countable items. The article the is also needed before specific landmarks.

× You can really find another similar city in China that with us all of the heritage buildings around the city.

✓ You really cannot find another similar city in China with all these heritage buildings around the city.

The original sentence is incomplete because that is incorrectly followed by with. Use a complete structure such as You cannot find another similar city with... Check that every clause has a subject and a verb.

× I have lived there around eighteen years until I graduated from my high school.

✓ I lived there for around eighteen years until I graduated from high school.

The period ended in the past, so the simple past lived is more appropriate than the present perfect have lived. Use for before a duration, and do not normally use my before high school in this meaning.

× Then I just went back home when I have the vacation.

✓ Then I went back home whenever I had a vacation.

Because the surrounding experience is in the past, have must change to had. Whenever is more natural than when for repeated past events.

× I saw so many in postcomments that they are quite satisfied with the life.

✓ I saw so many comments saying that people were quite satisfied with their lives.

Comments is the plural noun needed after so many. The pronoun their agrees with people, and lives is plural because it refers to multiple people.

× Some of my premier school friends still live in Xiang.

✓ Some of my primary-school friends still live in Xiang.

Primary school is the standard expression. The present tense live is correct if these friends still live there now.

× If anyone has their growing money, definitely move to Shanghai, Beijing.

✓ If anyone wants to earn more money, they will definitely move to Shanghai or Beijing.

Growing money is not the correct expression; earn more money expresses the intended meaning. The conditional sentence also needs a complete main clause with a subject and a verb.

× Of course, Xiang actually is the thirteen dynasties, capital city in China.

✓ Of course, Xiang was actually the capital of China during thirteen dynasties.

The statement refers to a historical fact, so was is more suitable than is. Capital of China is the correct noun phrase, and the number thirteen should modify dynasties rather than capital city.

× When I was young, everyone. My relatives already told me and I feel super proud of it.

✓ When I was young, my relatives had already told me about this, and I felt very proud of it.

Everyone is an incomplete fragment with no meaningful verb or complement. Combine the ideas into one complete sentence. Since the telling happened before another past point, had told is appropriate.

× It's not only learned by the test book.

✓ It is not learned only from a textbook.

Textbook is a singular countable noun, so it needs an article. From is the appropriate preposition for the source of knowledge, and textbook is more natural than test book.

× Whenever you go you can already learn it by the real architecture in front of your eye.

✓ Whenever you go there, you can learn it through the real architecture in front of your eyes.

Use go there when referring to a place. Through is more natural than by when describing the means of learning, and eyes should be plural because people normally have two eyes.

× It is something quite rare compared to any other countries.

✓ It is something quite rare compared to any other country.

Any other is followed by a singular countable noun when comparing one place with each individual alternative. Use country, not countries.

× It's a quite big city.

✓ It is quite a big city.

With a singular countable noun, the usual order is quite + a + adjective + noun. Therefore, quite a big city is correct.

× You need to stay round awake.

✓ You need to stay for around eight days.

Around awake is not a meaningful duration expression. Use for around eight days to express how long a visitor needs to stay.

× I don't like overall people's understanding and their thoughts because they always want their children to stay in their inch.

✓ I do not like the general attitudes and opinions of the people there because they always want their children to stay in their hometown.

Attitudes and opinions are clearer plural nouns for general views. Inch is a singular measurement noun and is not appropriate here; hometown expresses the intended place.

× I don't let some people just didn't obey the norms.

✓ I do not like it when some people simply do not obey the norms.

The structure let + object + verb does not fit this meaning. Use do not like it when followed by a clause. Since this describes a current situation, use do not obey.

× People actually didn't really respect each other frequently.

✓ People there do not really respect each other very often.

The answer describes a current characteristic, so use the present tense do not respect rather than the past tense did not respect. Very often is more natural than frequently in this conversational sentence.

× Every time when I go back to my hometown I only can stand to stay there around a week by having the delicious food or have to chat some new activities.

✓ Whenever I go back to my hometown, I can only stay for around a week, either enjoying the delicious food or taking part in some new activities.

The original sentence contains several incomplete and poorly connected phrases. Use a complete structure with can only stay, for to introduce the duration, and either...or to connect the two activities.

× I will definitely take them to my home town during the vacation, because at least I want to know I want them to understand Chinese culture.

✓ I will definitely take them to my hometown during their vacations because I want them to understand Chinese culture.

The repeated phrase I want to know I want is grammatically unnecessary. Keep one clear purpose clause. The future form will take is appropriate for a future intention.

× Not because of they leave abroad or somewhere else they forget their root.

✓ I do not want them to forget their roots because they live abroad or somewhere else.

Because of must be followed by a noun or gerund, not a clause. Because is needed before the clause they live abroad. Roots is plural when referring to cultural and family origins.

× I'm super proud of the tasty food, especially in the noodles.

✓ I am especially proud of the tasty food, particularly the noodles.

Use particularly or especially to introduce a specific example. In is not needed before the food item; the noodles is the correct noun phrase.

× Currently we have city walls and dying porta.

✓ Currently, we have city walls and the city gates.

The specific historical structures require the definite article when referring to them as known landmarks. City gates is the natural English expression for the apparent intended meaning of dying porta.

× It's the super famous tourist place.

✓ It is a very famous tourist attraction.

A singular countable noun such as place or attraction needs an article. Use a rather than the when introducing it generally, and very famous is more natural than super famous in formal speaking.

× If you know the Harvard Potter warriors and horses, you definitely know my hometown.

✓ If you know about the Terracotta Warriors and Horses, you will probably know my hometown.

The conditional sentence needs a clear name and a complete main clause. In a first conditional, use will probably know for the likely result.

× It never turned a white or neglect this page in the textbook at all.

✓ It never left out or neglected this page in the textbook.

The verbs should be in the same past-tense form: left out and neglected. The phrase turn a white is not a valid verb phrase; left out expresses the intended meaning.

× I still don't think the local people would like to stay there if they are young generations.

✓ I still do not think that young local people would like to stay there.

Young generations is not the correct noun phrase for individual young residents. Use young local people. The sentence also becomes clearer when the redundant if clause is removed.

× There are so many countries that people come to Siena and make everything worse than before.

✓ There are so many people from other countries who come to Xi'an and make everything worse than before.

Countries cannot refer to people, so use people from other countries. Use from to show origin and who to introduce a relative clause referring to people.

× The average salary is around three hundred five thousand five hundred.

✓ The average salary is around 3,500 yuan.

The original number expression is ambiguous and grammatically unclear. State the amount in a standard form, such as 3,500 yuan. Use a specific currency if the amount is important.

× It cannot bring them to have a good life.

✓ It does not allow them to have a good life.

Cannot bring someone to have a good life is not the natural structure for this meaning. Use allow + object + to-infinitive when explaining that a salary is insufficient.

× It's really not that hard to find a job in my hometown if you don't have any skills.

✓ It is really not that hard to find a job in my hometown, even if you do not have many skills.

The original conditional meaning is probably the opposite of the intended meaning. Even if introduces a contrast and makes the sentence logically clear. Many is appropriate with the plural countable noun skills.